Quokkas C.C.

Quokkas defy God, Karma, Voodoo; win

June 20, 2006 on 10:38 pm | In Post Match Report |

In what can only be described as the most exciting win of an electrifying season, The Quokkas continued on their winning ways yesterday, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat in a game that had more variety than a bag of licorice all-sorts.

The day started with grim warning signs, black crows and cats being spotted on street corners and Transport for London conspiring to shut down any means of getting to the ground.

Regardless, the Skipper agreed to begin the game with only eight available players, allowing Salix CC to put on fourty quick runs off six overs.

The introduction of three players soon stopped the rot though, as the run rate dived and the Quokka machine started to roll. The pendulum swing was complete as the Skipper soon grabbed two quick wickets.

Following on from last weeks lessons, he began the bowling rotations which ended up bringing good wickets to The Skaff, The Egg, Smithers and The Tweak.

The greatest bowling change, though, came from the introduction of The Caveman who has thusfar been masquerading as an opening batsman. The folly of this move was soon shown as he took three quick wickets, including Salix’s best batsmen. His inswinging yorker that left the stumps all over the place was best described as having magnetic qualities.

Redemption seemed to be the theme of the Quokkas effort in the field, as Smithers also scored an electric run-out after dropping the only missed catch of the innings.

Going into the break, The Quokkas were feeling optimistic despite needing to better our best score to hit the 175 required to win.

The hopes for the innings soon deteriorated though, as Salix introduced the two fastest bowlers we have seen this season. It only got worse as The Caveman tried to take one bowler to ‘the well’ by using the pull shot, resulting in the ball careering into his face and sending him to the ground.

Play was stopped for sometime before The Caveman was on his feet again, resulting in all The Quokkas being more than a little unnerved - apart from The Caveman who laughed off his quickly expanding skull.

Responding to Mrs Mantis’ demands to wear a helmet, the Mantis waved an arm and insisted; “Next time they send one at my head, I’ll send it back at theirs!”. And thus, one of the great innings of our time began.

The Skaff joined The Mantis at the crease and after nearly being run-out for the second week in a row, settled in to see off the new bowlers. The Mantis was looking particularly daring, expanding on the three shots in his famous book of scoring.

The Skaffs initial good work was undone though, as he departed for 12 and brought The Skip to the crease. The Skip was obviously keen to get moving and he took little time in scoring, punishing the spinners in particular.

Again though, the early good work was soon undone and he was back in the pavillion with The Skaff, bringing the new-boy; Gav, to the crease.

A successful partnership ensued, with Gav eventually being snared by the earlier spinner who had been taken for 14 off one over. All hope was not lost though, as The Knock stepped out for his first game of the season, looking every bit the man of steel. It seemed that tin was the more appropriate metal though, as he was out first ball.

The Truth was next up, moving down from his spot at no. 3, although faring no better in also going out first ball and giving the previously-expensive spinner a hat-trick.

The scoreboard was now looking extremely shaky at 100 for 6 and not a lot in the batting stakes remaining. Smithers glided up to the crease, fresh from taking The Caveman to hospital but wasnt able to trouble the scorers, returning to the pavillion with a donut and sending The Egg out to attempt a similar cameo to the week before.

It wasnt to be though, as he was also soon back in the pavillion without getting off the mark.
It should be remembered that while this was going on, The Mantis was still taking runs off the other end and had long surpassed his half-century.

The introduction of Thug P to the crease was like the wind of change though, as he started in his inimitable fashion to hit out against anything put in front of him.

Victory seemed to be closing in when the Thug was controversially given out LBW with 14 needed for victory, bringing The Tweak limping to the crease for the first time this season.
After some initial troubles holding the bat, hitting the ball and running between wickets, The Tweak was able to relax enough to watch The Mantis hit the winning runs with a big 6 that saw him finish on 99 not out.

For the second week in a row euphoria broke out and heads shook as The Quokkas finished with an exciting win. It was mentioned earlier in the day that The Mantis resembles Steve Waugh in that he looks shaky but is actually a punisher of bowling. I rang Steve this morning and put this to him, to which he responded; “I had a career average of 50, The Mantis is on 100 - the figures don’t lie”.

And so, the votes for the Paul Turnock player of the year;

5 - The Mantis, 99 not out - was there from the beginning to end
4 - The Caveman, 3 wickets and a visit to hospital
3 - The Skip, break-through wickets and handy hitting
2 - Gav, great introduction
1 - The Tweak, suspect holding up an end

The Iain Edwards most courageous player award goes to The Caveman for reasons already mentioned.

The votes leaderboard therefore goes;
10 – The Mantis
10 – The Skip
7 – The Attack
5 – Smithers
4 - Caveman
2 – Nige
2 – The Truth
2 - Gav
1 - The Skaff
1 – The Egg
1 – The Tweak
Next week, Wantage CC and the final match of the season - come on you Quokkas 5-0!