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  • Quokkas 98-4 (Skip 34 n/o Charan 28 n/o) beat ACME 97 all out (Seagull 3-11, Charan 2-5)

    It’s been well over month since we played this game. As a result, I’ve pretty much forgotten what happened, so the report will be somewhat sparse of cricketing details. No change there I guess. The important stuff first. Tea was served and consisted of French bread, cheese board, home-made quiche, cream scones with strawberries, a baby-tomatoe-salad and grapes. It’s been a long wait, but it was well worth waiting for. Nice cup of tea too. Actually, it was a good weekend for food, as the outlaws in Worthing treated Mrs Seagull and I to a cowboy-themed cookout on Saturday. The chilli was hot, as was the weather, which had me thinking about Glasgow inventor Dr William Cullon, father of seven, who conceived the refrigerator on a hot day in 1785 as he realised he needed somewhere to stick his children’s terrible artwork. [Ed: do we need to pay royalties to Jack Dee for using his jokes?]

    When it comes to inventions, ACME surely lead the way with their rocket powered rollerskates, giant rubber bands and jet propelled pogo sticks, but despite the name, the team from Westcott are no looney tunes. In fact, in previous encounters they have performed closer to the Greek origins of the word `acme’ (highest point). After two defeats, albeit one self-inflicted by Seagull’s over generous captaincy, we meant business this time, with Skip opening the bowling with Radio John.

    There was tremendous excitement. Radio was on a hattrick after taking the final two wickets in the previous game, but sadly it wasn’t to be. You are probably thinking that some of the rhythm may have been lost over the course of a week or the opening batsman was of a better standard than the Hollybush tail. In reality, the opening delivery was so short and wide, the batsman simply couldn’t reach it, never mind get out to it. “Thanks Radio. Good spell mate.”  Evil Dave had more luck with the short wide delivery, with the opening batsman offering a simple catch to Seagull to get us on our way. He can get wickets with decent balls too, clean bowling another ACME batsman during a fine spell.

    It was great to welcome T20 stalwart, Charan, dubbed Sharon [Ed: these nicknames just get more inventive every year], to the Sunday side for the first time. We were running short of options at keeper. Skip decided to bowl him instead, which was wise, as he was pretty unplayable. He replaced Radio and his extra speed, accuracy and all round talent contributed to dislodging the other opener. The pitch helped a little. One delivery just short of a length almost took the batman’s head off. The next pitched half way down and barely made it to ankle height. When they did lay bat on ball, a shot guided down to third man that went straight into Arunav’s gloves strangely didn’t stir the umpire into action. It mattered little, as Shazza sent stumps spawling three balls later. He grabbed a second wicket soon after, but with help from the pitch, he also threatened to dislodge a batsman’s head, so Skip took him off.

    Although slightly less life threatening, Yak was just as difficult to get away and he grabbed a brace of wickets himself, helped by another of Skips great slip catches. The fine catching wasn’t er catching. The Mosquito dropped an absolute dolly. Fortunately, a huge offside boundary provided the opportunity to lose him in the outfield, but sadly we could still hear his gibberish.

    Despite this, we were seriously on top. Perfect time to bring on lessor bowlers like Fruit Smoothie and he seemed to struggle, going for a whole run from three overs, and only adding one wicket. Plenty of room for improvement there. Egg is probably not the person to receive that much needed coaching from though. He went for a few, mostly due to a lack of flight, which was a complete waste of low lying cloud. Seagull doesn’t usually have a problem giving the ball some air, but he appears to have been practicing, keeping the ball below head height and as a result got numbers nine and ten out, before bamboozling a stubborn number four when coming down the wicket looking for a repeat six. Impressive stuff from Seagull, who earlier had blamed a flock of nesting gulls on his neighbours roof waking him up every morning at 3.30am for looking somewhat jaded.

    With our opponents 97 all out, we could enjoy our first cricket tea of the season and discuss London’s rising water table, finding Egg a bedfellow for a Nine Inch Nail concert in France and importantly, this year’s Ashes venue. Having suggested we spend £1.2m on a new ground, Evil put forward the £5000 a match (no refund if it rains) London’s Armoury House. Unless Evil has won the lottery, I am thinking someone maybe ought to audit his company accounts as his taste for the high life seems to hold no bounds. Enough frivolity, we have 98 runs to knock off.

    Herc and Arunav opened the batting and accounted for the first 8 runs before both were bowled. That brought Skip and Driver to the middle. Both dug in nicely and they knocked off another 30 runs before The Driver was out. The lack of the usual plane landings at the neighbouring runway might have been due to the low lying cloud, but more likely they were concerned at the flight of some deliveries. Egg eat your heart out. Actually, The Egg clearly fancied the bowling, as he was in next and he looked extremely solid, but was out when looking to be more expansive. That brought Charan to the crease and the bowling was very much to his liking, as he plundered runs to all parts. Not much else to report here really, as Skip played himself into form and between them they saw us home.

    Next up is the Ashes. Should be a formality for the English this year. Probably not even worth the Aussies turning up. 

    Get well soon Zulu.

    Seagull.

    Posted by iain @ 10:50 am

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