Quokkas Cricket Club

• 09May

  Quokkas CC 2012 season preview

  Match Preview, UK News, Uncategorized No Comments

  If it ever stops raining in blighty we might get some games in, though this year’s tour to Portugal should  provide some sun at least and hopefully an actual track to play on.

  2012 Fixtures

  With work, holidays and future Quokka childcare taking up valuable Sundays from our existing players, and with the Shandyman scheduled to defect back to his motherland mid-season, the Quokkas are on the lookout for more players for 2012. If you appreciate the social aspect of the game, can play cricket hold a bat the right way round and have a passing acknowledgement of the rules* then the Skip is after you.

  Our first Sunday game is versus the RV Strollers in Greenford this week and with no Ashes or T20 action so far this year due to inclement environmental conditions, fear of falling to the mighty Mellan from batting rustiness is high. A maiden win for the Quokkas in this fixture last year gave us a good start to the season and any opportunity to wind up the highly-strung French surely shouldn’t be missed.

  Team selection for Strollers thus far:

  • Egg
  • Skip
  • Smithers
  • Fagberg
  • Evil Dave
  • Rage
  • Gymnast
  • Tom the Yank

  We still have a few spots open on the team so contact the Skipper if you fancy a game either this weekend or later in the season here.

  *not strictly necessary

   

  EDIT: So much for the preview. Despite the nice weather this weekend, match is off due to waterlogged pitch. Bugger.

  Tags: 2012, Fixtures, Quokkas CC

• 07May

  Quokkas sing for the kids

  Action This Day, Curto, Ed, OZ News, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Thursday May 3rd saw the Quokkas step out in force to support the Action This Day Wine and Cheese Charity Auction.  While the Quokkas have been long supporters of Action This Day, this was their first chance to show it in person, with two of the team entertaining the crowd and another taking their money as the evenings Auctioneer.

  Our off-spinner, Ed, and wicket-keeper, Curto, dazzled the crowd with some up-beat rhythm and blues, while the Rev was able to extract over four thousand dollars from the crowd as the evenings auctioneer.

  

  Ed and Curto give it some

  At the time of writing, the night had raised over nine thousand dollars, which will go a long way to supporting the charity in Kenya.  Click here for more details on Action This Day & stay tuned for more information on our future fundraising efforts, including our trip to the Kookaburra Academy in Kenya!

• 27Mar

  Quokkas make the BDNO semi’s! Then…

  BDNO, Lord Newry Hotel, OZ News, Post Match Report, Standard Hotel, Tramways Hotel No Comments

  From Captain Rowdy…

  The Quokkas did battle with Tramways and Sentido Funf in a ‘manaja twa’ of round robin pub cricket

  Whispers were that 75 to 80 was a par score so we aimed for 100 just to be safe and fell only 2 short with 6/98 upon completion of our 10 overs

  The salt and pepper opening partnership of Gladys and Rowdy proved fruitful with both retiring in the 20s. After bench pressing and bicep curling his way to 195 home and away season runs, Emu lost his off stump for a duck – as Jake the Muss said in Once Were Warriors “too much weights, not enough speedwork”

  The shock of losing our premier batsmen cheaply didn’t faze the middle order as Curto (20) and Dutchy (16) pushed the score into the 90s with Rob Seddon icing the cake with a boundary off the final delivery

  Robbo (0/11) the anaesthetist took the new ball with the task of putting the opening pair from the Sentido Funf to sleep. Bad Boy (0/7), Rev ‘(0/9), Ed (1/2) and Big Dog (2/2) all bowled well in our first 5 overs and were backed up with our best fielding display of the season. Gladys’s diving catch and Rev’s overhead mark on the boundary line the highlights. I’ve excluded Big Dog’s 2 wickets from the highlights, as this level of performance is expected from the the clubs leading wicket taker 

  Pup (0/14) led the attack in our second 5 over stint to the Tramways and was backed up by Mo (0/8), Rob Seddon (0/6), Snoop (1/4) and Rowdy (0/3) who all executed to plan. The fielding yet again the highlight with a sharp catch from Bad Boy (amazing what 8 hours sleep and a night off the sauce can do for a man) and Dutchy’s patrolling of deep cover coupled with his attempts to break Curto’s fingers with bullets from the boundary

  With the job done of restricting the opposition to a lesser run rate than that required to achieve the 98 posted we could only look on and watch the final 5 overs between Tramways and Sentido Funf with fingers crossed. The final overs were tighter than our playing shirts and like a Jazzron innings, it was hard to watch. Fortunately the result went our way and the Quokka’s were deserving winners through to the Semi

  I will try and write the report for the Semi v Newry in a similar style to the match itself – brief

  The salt and pepper combo both fell in the first over. Emu strode to the crease still needing 5 runs for the elusive 200 season runs, the situation had the hallmarks of Bradman’s final innings at The Oval in 1948. The 50 strong crowd waited with baited breath, would the champ bring up his milestone on the way to a match saving innings? No, in keeping with the Bradman theme the Emu fell cheaply. This has resulted in a petition being started (allegedly by Dutchy) to have him removed from the Australian Coat of Arms

  With the Quokka’s slumping to 3/3 and the big guns out, the pressure was on. Pressure as they say makes diamonds…and Dutchy saluted to bring up the first diamond duck of the season. Wickets continued to tumble….and tumble. JBomb (15) and Ed (18no) providing the only resistance to what turned out to be the Premier attack of the BDNO. Quokka’s finshed 9/48 from the allotted 10 overs which proved to be 10 to 12 dangerous balls short of what was needed in a cut throat Semi

  The Newry made light work of the target and notched up the 49 required in 4.1 overs. Special mention to Rev who went for 22 off his over, a few ‘possum killer’ deliveries that landed in all areas of the surrounding parkland

  Despite the disappointing end to the tournament for the Quokka’s the overall result was a success to finish unofficially 3rd in the 12 team competition, going down to the eventual Premier

  Congratulations to all players on the day and over the course of the season

  Thank you to all the helpers and supporters

  Big thank you to Serena for a season of scoring and supply of culinary delights

  See you all Presentation Night, I’ll bring the wheelbarrow for Emu

  Rowdy out

• 18Mar

  Quokkas in the Big Day Not Out 2012

  BDNO, Match Preview, OZ News, Sentido Funf, Tramways Hotel No Comments

  Match Facts

  The Big Day Not Out

  25.03.2012

  Quokkas begin @ 12:15

  Edinburgh Gardens, North Fitzroy

  The Big Picture

  And so another season of the YPCA comes to a close with only the showcase fixture, the Big Day Not Out (BDNO), yet to be played.  For those unfamiliar with the day, it involves 12 teams from the league who battle through a round-robin format to find a final winner.  As there is no league table, this is a bit like our version of the FA Cup.

  Being a new team to the league last year, the Quokkas had to field a combined side (with the Royal Derby) but will be a stand-alone side this time around.  The excitement among the ranks has been palpable, with an unprecedented number putting their hands up to play AND turning up to train.

  This excitement may need to be put in context, as the Quokkas have drawn Sentido Funf and the Tramways Hotel in the first round.  Sentido Funf won the tournament last year, though the Quokkas were able to overcome them for a 2-wicket win earlier this year.  The Tramways hotel overcame the Quokkas easily in a tense match earlier this year that will be remembered more for the ‘junkie’ incident than it will for the cricket played.

  The Quokkas are yet to get past the first round in this tournament, and being allocated the management of the Alfred Crescent Bar for the day, will be busy regardless.

  Form Guide

  Quokkas: WLL-L

  Watch out for:

  Emu – After dominating the scoring for the Quokkas this season, we are all looking forward to seeing what ‘the mew’ can do in front of the crowds in the shortened format;

  Rowdy – Has been handed the captains arm band for the day, seeing as though we probably need someone who knows *something* about cricket.  More interesting will be seeing if he says something/anything.

  Team News:

  With almost every player who has turned out for the Quokkas this season putting their hand up for a game, team management have the advantage of fielding  specialist batting and bowling fielding sides.

  Batting: Gladys, Emu, J Bomb, Rowdy, Dutchy, Snoop, Curto, Rob Seddon, Jazzron, Robbo, Ed

  Bowling: Robbo, Bad Boy, Rev, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Rowdy, Snoop

  ‘Keeper: Curto

  Fielders: Dutchy, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Gladys, Rowdy, Snoop

• 08Mar

  LiV Quokkas v Brandon Hotel Sunday 4/3/2012

  Brandon Hotel, OZ News, Post Match Report, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  From Capt’n Ed…

  

  Sundays game started as normal with a last minute ground swap and we returned to where we played our first game  3 seasons ago. The Brandon batted first and we decided to open with Pup (who returned as his dad had moved above him in the alltime wickets tally) and Mo. Mo inability to find the pitch meant 1 over was enough but Pup struck early with Rowdy taking a nice catch behind the stumps. Wickets fell regularly with Dutchy running a guy out from the boundary, Gladys getting a wicket after copping some stick, Big Dog not letting pup edge in front of him and yours truly taking a catch at short mid wicket. At drinks the Brandon were 5/76. After the break I unleashed the rev who hit the base of off stump with his first delivery, and was rewarded by being dragged after which he abused his captain from the Cover Boundary which caused at least 1 six off my bowling. Rob’s bowled a fiery spell just like Alan Mulally and when Big Dog took the final wicket (Rowdys 3rd catch, better bring a comfy chair to the BDNO Curto)  they only had 130 for the great Quokkas batting line up to chase. 

   

  Well…..Mo opened with Robbo (second failed experiment involving Mo) and we limped to 5/61 at drinks with Mo, Big Dog, and the rev falling in quick succession around Robbos 18 and Rowdy’s 24. Needless to say the lower order got us home with 2 wickets to spare with Robs “patient” 17, a typical Emu 33 retired, 12 of 5 balls for Dutchy (there I told everyone) and Gladys 9 or the last 3 balls to win the game by 2 wickets and 3 overs to go.

   

  Good effort all round by the team and just incase Dutchy forgets he occasional;ly will need reminding that he got hit ontop of the changerooms..

   

  Brandon 131 – Big Dog 2/9, Rev 1/5, Robbo 1/13, Gladys 1/15, Mo 1/something, Ed 1/something, Rowdy 3 Catches, Ed 2 catches and most notably RADAR TOOK A CATCH!!!!!!!!

  Quokkas 8/133 – Emu 33 retired, Rody 24, Robby 18, Rob 17

   

  The Rev is back on board now so all future emails will come from the great man.

   

  See you at the Big Day Not Out
• 08Mar

  LiV Quokkas v Tramways Sunday 12/2/2012

  OZ News, Post Match Report, Tramways Hotel, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  From Captain Snoop…

  With a first time captain/3^rd game veteran at the helm for yesterday’s game I reckon we could have been in trouble even before a ball was  bowled. How true was that!

  In the interests of fairness some slight tinkering of the batting order meant that Ed & Gladys faced the ‘Tramways’ opening bowling attack spearheaded by a  quick skinny bloke wearing his mission brown cords from the 80s and his dessert boots. This skinny bloke along with his team mates bowled extremely well and chased every bloody ball without giving away too many runs. Ed & Gladys tried hard to pick the gaps but boundaries were few and far between. After Ed departed, Jazzron joined a gutsy Gladys who was  showing signs of injury after a nasty thigh muscle tear. At drinks we were 1/48 ish , with Gladys retiring on a well earned 29 after feeling the pinch. So as to try to increase the flow of runs we decided that ` Emu’ would fly in next for some quick runs.  A solid performance from Jazzron came to an end which left the Snoop & Emu in the middle to battle a very consistent and on line bowling attack. With Emu looking quite hungover , the boy from `The Hangover” Aka Bradley Cooper (Snoop) decided it was time to put a few over the fence, if that was possible with his 20 yr old County 747. Some good umpiring by Curto meant that Snoop didn’t get dismissed after a huge appeal for caught behind. Nothing registered on `snicko’.. The Snoop then lost his middle stump on 30 (not great for the average), which saw another hungover Bad Boy aka Lance Whitnall make his way to the wicket to join a tiring but ever reliable Emu with only 3 over’s remaining. Bad boy went cheaply , and this brought the big hitting Rowdy  to the crease to finish off our lacklustre innings with some lovely stroke making and a couple of boundaries. Emu once again made 30 not out to take his batting average to 85 and looking certain to fill his trophy cabinet come seasons end.

  So after a disappointing 25 overs of batting the Quokkas had set Tramways a very easy task of chasing 128 runs.

  Our bowling attack headed by the 3 R’s( Robbo, Radar,Rowdy) started quite well but for very little reward. They were scoring  a run ball which was all that was required. It wasn’t until Curto decided to  hand the gloves to Rowdy that things started to happen. We then saw some strike bowling from Big Dog, good catching from Mo and excellent quick hands from Rowdy that we took a few consecutive wickets. It seemed like the sleeping Quokkas had come to life and some urgency in the field meant there were run outs happening left right and centre. A game that we were never going to win seemed somehow winnable. However , this was short lived as Tramways steadied, kept their head and cruised past the target of 128 with about 3.5 overs to spare. Special mention to Ed, Robbo , Mo , Big Dog and Radar, who were all very good in the field. Oh , and not to forget  Curto who decided he wouldn’t come in to the middle to celebrate  wickets,  but rather chat to his brother on the boundary fence.

  It was definitely a very flat performance by the Quokkas and one that we can only improve on. With some quality players on the sideline with injury, a full strength line up is just around the corner and hopefully so is  Quokka victory.

  Thanks must go to Serena & Kathleen again for all their efforts yesterday in keeping the scoreboard ticking along and all that were involved in preparing the cookies, BBQ and drinks.

• 07Feb

  Standard Hotel 200 def LiV Quokkas 188 (Gladys 53 & toofer)

  OZ News, Post Match Report, Standard Hotel, Victorian Quokkas 1 Comment
  

  LiV Quokkas v Standard Hotel

  From the mind of Emu…

  Much like Edward Smith (don’t google it, he drove the titanic) I like to
  think my Captaincy be judged by the highlights rather than the end result.
  

  
  Put into the field by Needling Nick, the captain of the Sub-Standard
  (because at 1:00 they had 9 blokes) it became clear that he was a little
  bit precious in slagging off Luke Curtain for bringing an esky that
  contained…water.
  

  I could say that he was an anal retentive, medial job working control freak
  with poor social skills whence combined with low sporting aptitude means he
  treats Sunday cricket with a degree of pettiness usually reserved for
  sociopaths who commit postal murders, but that would not be nice.
  

  
  So, off to field in 36 degree odd heat we did start a little shaky. Their
  top order was strong; which had Captain Emu scratching his head.
  Fortunately, much like Celine Dion, you know they have to retire
  eventually, but it doesn’t help you in the meantime. Most bowlers got some
  treatment. Much like Robbo who went for 22 off one over. His revenge would
  come.

  Daniel “Ming” Grigg created some great tension, the boy from Torquay a
  frugal threat (1 for 10 from 3 overs) Luke Curtain passing the gloves to
  his brother and bowling two overs (1 for 9) was handy before drinks. Rowdy
  also showed his volleyball skills; a perfect set saw him push a catch
  neatly over the boundary. Classic.

  Three gents contributed 113 so once they were not in operation, wickets
  would fall. This was a chance for the swing of new guy JJ to come into
  play. Pleased himself bowled well, upset he missed a diving effort. A few
  then wickets tumbled as Emu finally found the line that saw Curto snaffle a
  caught behind. Emu snagged a few more catches before new recruit Jarrod
  seized on a ball and lobbed it in to the stumps to effect a timely run out.
  His fielding, combined with Dutchy and JJ who were tireless on a hot day.
  Gladys also bowled some peaches, showing his tricks to suppress the score
  and take a wicket or two.

  
  Chasing 200, the opening pair fared a little Indian, but when Matt “Gladys”
  Curtain strolled it, it changed. He ended on 53, a great effort from Mister
  Cricket, freed from pressure of work and kids. He watched Mo denied a
  certain four via an outstretched boot then dismissed for 11, Emu depart
  cheaply (still scored a six), but support arrived in Robbo (29 off 25)
  including 3 consecutive 4s. Dutchy who rode some short pitched balls to
  secure 22 and a very sullen Dan ‘I don’t run singles’ Grigg (24 runs)
  

  
  By the time Luke Curtain arrived, new guy Jarrod ran himself out and new
  guy JJ had taken a ball on the wrist, breaking his ulnar bone in his
  forearm. How he batted on to hit two fours is another story. As was Big
  Dog, who was unable to replicate his huge score of last bat and somehow
  Dutchy forgot to pass him on the ceremonial Duck.  With some 35 runs
  required in two and a half overs Gladys returned to smash the Labour in
  Vain close, not before an incident between the before mentioned Sub
  Standard captain. A dangerous ball bowled by Needling Nick and an angry
  Curto saw umpire Emu mediate the situation like a Year 9 Girls Health and
  Human development class.
  

  
  Matt Curtain could do no more, holing out to Long On leaving Curto alone in
  his teens (again) the team some 13 runs shy of the desired 200.

  Epilogue:
  *Dutchy  may have hurt his knee. Doubtful.
  *JJ has had a plate inserted. His 8-month pregnant wife blames Luke.
  Doubtful.
  *Robbo is captain next week. Nice guy!
  *Matt Curtain is class.
  *Even with salad you can lose friends, as Needling Nick found

• 07Feb

  LiV Quokkas v Curtin Hotel – no result on the field, plenty off

  Curtin Hotel, OZ News, Post Match Report, Victorian Quokkas No Comments
  All round a great effort, and as Ed pointed out, we were robbed of victory by the rain.

  We arrived to find gale force winds and a very patchy playing surface at Fairfield, and as is our happy knack recently, had to field in the worst of the conditions.

  Good bowling effort from everyone, with special mention to the spin twins Ed (1 for 9 off 3 overs) and Jarrod whose mid innings spells dried up the runs and led to wickets. The Rev made a cameo appearance off the bench and managed to clean bowl a hapless batsman with his never before seen offspinner.

  Morty’s tight second over led to the dismissal of the innings. The batsman, faced with the prospect of a maiden over, took off for a cheeky single to Big Dog at short mid on. Big Dog whipped the relay throw all of 3 meters to Morty, who knocked the stumps down like he was Simon “The Wizard” Whitlock (the Aussie darts bloke). Radar cleaned up on of the openers in a fiery spell and Emu benefited from a sharp catch at mid off to round out the wickets.

  After dislocating his finger whilst fielding on the boundary and then popping it back in himself Bear Grylls style, J-bomb was immediately called on to bowl (nice one captain) and struggled for control, going for an impressive 23 runs off a 12 ball over.

  Curto had an outstanding day behind the stumps, not letting a single ball past him in very trying conditions.

  A few catches went down late in the innings, but ended up not being too costly, so 162 was the score to chase.

  Out strode Emu The Mentalist, our own answer to Davey Warner. The wonder bat became a distant memory as he cracked a chanceless 33 off 21, including 5 boundaries, one of which was the only straight 4 of the match. Curto provided the perfect foil at the other end, rotating the strike relentlessly on his way to 12 (all singles). Upon Emu’s retirement, he was joined by Radar, who kept the fancy scoreboard ticking along nicely, reaching 17 by the time the heavens opened.

  So we were going scoring at well over the required run rate with plenty of batting to come, certain victory denied!

  Last weeks high attrition rate continued with Morty pulling a back string and J-bomb’s aformentioned finger. Hope your are both healing up well boys.

  The only area where we were bested by the Curtin was back at the pub. Those lads showed up in force and looked like they weren’t leaving in a hurry. That should make our sponsors at The Labour in Vain happy anyway.

  It was a privilege to captain such a fine group of marsupials.

  Thanks to Sarina as always.
• 21Dec

  The Dan O’C 147 (Rowdy twofer) def Quokkas 135 (Big Dog 35 no)

  Big Dog, Dan O'Connell Hotel, Post Match Report, Rowdy, Victorian Quokkas 2 Comments

  And so it came to pass…

  The three wise men came from the East(ern suburbs) in search of the new-born Messiah. The found something better on Heidelberg Road near the Clifton Hill overpass where they witnessed the advent of cricket incompetency as the Quokkas once again conspired to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The three were last seen holding a snag in bread and a can of Melbourne Bitter, gazing into the western evening sky and talking about a Rev?

  Having opted to field in order to give opposition (the hated Dan!) a chance to find a spare public BBQ amongst the families and Xmas parties in Fairfield Park the Quokkas bowlers continued in the same wicketless way that they had finished the previous game. The opening pair of Bad Boy and Rev were accurate and although Radar and Mo gave away very few runs no early poles were disturbed. Marty made the breakthrough but the Dan were 1-60 at the drinks break.

  There were a few choice pieces of advice given over the course of the day including ‘More catching & less drumming’ for our ARIA nominated muso. But the one that got the Quokka fielders chortling most was the classic piece of own team sledging from the Dan team mate umpiring at square leg to a hesitant batsman contemplating a single ‘RUN, you f**khead!’

  Rowdy bowled beautifully and picked up a couple for his efforts whilst supersub Emu and J-Bomb took one each. But a few dropped catches combined with the sluggish effort in the field gave the general feeling that we really hadn’t done our best. Nevertheless, the consensus at the break was that a total of 6-147 could certainly be chased down if we could just keep our heads and bat sensibly.

  Yeah, about that……

  Emu and Radar got us off to a flying start and after 6 overs we had 51 on the board. A clatter of wickets followed with Emu (slogging having just got to his 30), Dutchy (quack, quack) and Rowdy (he can actually bat!) being most culpable. J-Bomb and Big Dog steadied the ship at 6 down without troubling the scorers too much and then a 46 partnership between Curto and Big Dog was a combination of good luck and Curto sneaking singles by yelling at BD to ‘Push, Harder, Push’. Perhaps the heavily pregnant Mrs Rev could benefit from such sage advice!

  We ran out of overs at 9-136. So Big Dog maintains his 100% loss record as captain but back at the pub had a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat with his previously unheard of accumulation of 35 runs unbeaten. A triumph of stubbornness over ability but alas, too little too late to stop the Quokkas sliding into the holiday season with an 11 run defeat. Actually back at the pub we found we didn’t hate the Dan at all and they are a great bunch of blokes in the spirit of Yarra pub cricket.

  But what a story Curto had to tell on the Monday morning when his work mate posed his regular enquiry of ‘Ahhh, So how did the Big Dog go yesterday?’

• 14Dec

  Quokkas in the media again…

  B&F, Bad Boy, Media, News, OZ News No Comments

  In a year in which the Quokkas have been in the eye of paid journalists in all places from Serbia to Melbourne, spreading the good word of social cricket and its benefits, the tabloids have once again been muck-raking out the back of Quokkas HQ and come up with the following story to cast doubt on the LiV Quokkas incumbent B&F: Bad Boy.

  http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/police-bust-family-business-run-from-shed/story-fn7x8me2-1226219428802

  Legal advice is being sought and an official announcement from QHQ is expected asap.

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