Quokkas Cricket Club

• 21Dec

  The Dan O’C 147 (Rowdy twofer) def Quokkas 135 (Big Dog 35 no)

  Big Dog, Dan O'Connell Hotel, Post Match Report, Rowdy, Victorian Quokkas 2 Comments

  And so it came to pass…

  The three wise men came from the East(ern suburbs) in search of the new-born Messiah. The found something better on Heidelberg Road near the Clifton Hill overpass where they witnessed the advent of cricket incompetency as the Quokkas once again conspired to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The three were last seen holding a snag in bread and a can of Melbourne Bitter, gazing into the western evening sky and talking about a Rev?

  Having opted to field in order to give opposition (the hated Dan!) a chance to find a spare public BBQ amongst the families and Xmas parties in Fairfield Park the Quokkas bowlers continued in the same wicketless way that they had finished the previous game. The opening pair of Bad Boy and Rev were accurate and although Radar and Mo gave away very few runs no early poles were disturbed. Marty made the breakthrough but the Dan were 1-60 at the drinks break.

  There were a few choice pieces of advice given over the course of the day including ‘More catching & less drumming’ for our ARIA nominated muso. But the one that got the Quokka fielders chortling most was the classic piece of own team sledging from the Dan team mate umpiring at square leg to a hesitant batsman contemplating a single ‘RUN, you f**khead!’

  Rowdy bowled beautifully and picked up a couple for his efforts whilst supersub Emu and J-Bomb took one each. But a few dropped catches combined with the sluggish effort in the field gave the general feeling that we really hadn’t done our best. Nevertheless, the consensus at the break was that a total of 6-147 could certainly be chased down if we could just keep our heads and bat sensibly.

  Yeah, about that……

  Emu and Radar got us off to a flying start and after 6 overs we had 51 on the board. A clatter of wickets followed with Emu (slogging having just got to his 30), Dutchy (quack, quack) and Rowdy (he can actually bat!) being most culpable. J-Bomb and Big Dog steadied the ship at 6 down without troubling the scorers too much and then a 46 partnership between Curto and Big Dog was a combination of good luck and Curto sneaking singles by yelling at BD to ‘Push, Harder, Push’. Perhaps the heavily pregnant Mrs Rev could benefit from such sage advice!

  We ran out of overs at 9-136. So Big Dog maintains his 100% loss record as captain but back at the pub had a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat with his previously unheard of accumulation of 35 runs unbeaten. A triumph of stubbornness over ability but alas, too little too late to stop the Quokkas sliding into the holiday season with an 11 run defeat. Actually back at the pub we found we didn’t hate the Dan at all and they are a great bunch of blokes in the spirit of Yarra pub cricket.

  But what a story Curto had to tell on the Monday morning when his work mate posed his regular enquiry of ‘Ahhh, So how did the Big Dog go yesterday?’

• 14Dec

  Quokkas in the media again…

  B&F, Bad Boy, Media, News, OZ News No Comments

  In a year in which the Quokkas have been in the eye of paid journalists in all places from Serbia to Melbourne, spreading the good word of social cricket and its benefits, the tabloids have once again been muck-raking out the back of Quokkas HQ and come up with the following story to cast doubt on the LiV Quokkas incumbent B&F: Bad Boy.

  http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/police-bust-family-business-run-from-shed/story-fn7×8me2-1226219428802

  Legal advice is being sought and an official announcement from QHQ is expected asap.

• 07Dec

  Match Preview: LiV Quokkas v Dan O’Connell

  Dan O'Connell Hotel, Match Preview, OZ News, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Match Facts:

  LiV Quokkas v The HATED Dan O’Connell

  11.12.11

  13:00

  Fairfield Park, Fairfield

  The Big Picture:

  After fielding arguably their strongest team yet and hitting a blistering 155 in the first innings of their last game, the Quokkas were unable to defend the total, only taking 1 wicket for the match.

  If ever there was a reason to get angry and attack the sticks it is this: a match against their mortal and bitter and mortal enemy – The Dan O’Connell.  Some Quokkas may fondly remember the last time these two mortal and bitter and mortal enemies locked horns, with only the opening of the heavens saving the Dan from an inevitable Quokka victory and nudey run around the boundary.  Thank god for rain.

  This game also presents the Quokkas with the ability to go into the xmas break with a 50:50 record and a nice victory to talk endlessly about on the 25^th.

  Form Guide:

  Quokkas: W-LL

  Watch out for:

  §  Big Dog – Big Dog is Captain for this game. The Big Dog was instrumental against the Dan in last years game, taking 2 key wickets.  He is also only 8 runs away from 50 career runs with the Quokkas;

  Team News:

  §  For the first time this year, there are no debutants and plenty to choose from;

  §  Following on from the confusion, consternation and general contemplation of the score last week, we welcome back our beloved Sarina to take care of the mighty pen;

  Quokkas (possible)

  1.       Emu

  2.       Big Dog (c)

  3.       Dutchy

  4.       Radar

  5.       J Bomb

  6.       Robbo

  7.       Mo

  8.       Marty

  9.   Curto

  10.   Rowdy

  11.   Rev

  13.   Bad Boy (enigma )

• 06Dec

  Quokkas B&F 2011 – A visual spectacular

  B&F, News, UK News No Comments
  

  The Mantis - T20 player of the year

  

  The Iain Edwards Bravery Award winner for 2011

  

  Robin "Skip" Bradley - 2011 Quokkas B&F

• 28Nov

  Quokkas Round 3 – Captains Review

  OZ News, Post Match Report, Prince Patrick Hotel, Victorian Quokkas 1 Comment

  Luke Curtain – A Captain’s Diary

  Chapter 3

  Sunday 27^th November saw the Labour in Vain do battle with newcomers ‘The Prince Patrick’.  And although ‘Prince Patrick’ sounds more like a discrete body piercing than a reputable drinking establishment, they proved to be formidable adversaries for the Quokkas.

  The Pre-game net session was lively, and our bowlers were looking sharp.
  Unfortunately there was confusion over who was the home team for the day, so a late beer run from Emu and Robbo meant that the Quokkas would have to pad up in overcast conditions.

  Again, the batting order was afresh with new faces. Emu, Gladys and Robbo were all making their debuts, while Bad Boy got his first chance for the season.

  Batting

  Rowdy and the Rev opened the batting and both got of the mark in the first over.

  But The Prince Patrick struck early. Rowdy (Not unlike a 14 year old boy watching a Sophie Lee hosted cartoon program) was caught pulling.

  J-Bomb came in a made a quick-fire 27 (including 6 boundaries) but was caught out, agonizingly close to his second 30 of the season.

  Matt (Gladys) was next at the crease and a first ball six was followed by some majestic stroke play. His cover drives were not matched by his running between the wickets, with partner ‘Rev’ the casualty, ending a steady-handed innings.

  Gladys was quick to bring up his 30 after the drinks break and when Gregor was out for 7 (after playing all his best shots in the nets pre-game) veteran Dutchy and first gamer Emu put together a partnership worthy of winning the match.
  Dutchy chanced his arm for 22 and Emu who overcame some early nerves went onto make a swashbuckling 32 including a massive six.

  Curto did his best to slow the run rate late with a ‘very hard to watch’ 11, and there were some late contributions by Pup, Bad Boy and Robbo.

  TOTAL 7/155

  Bowling

  With the clouds clearing and the pitch drying out, the Prince Patrick had the better of the batting conditions.

  Robbo and Bad Boy took the new ball both from the Eastern Freeway end.

  Aided by a breeze on the back Bad boy’s first over was a nasty one, and he had the opener dragging back onto his stumps with a peach of a delivery late in the over

  Bad Boy’s jaffa would prove to be the only wicket of the day.
  The boys from Victoria Parade picked their deliveries for the duration of the innings with no less than 5 batsmen going onto make 30.

  The Quokkas tried hard in the field and with the red pill, but inevitably we were chasing leather.
  A miscalculation of our score made the chase a little more interesting (The opposition thought the target was 166), but either way they reached both scores comfortable with an over to spare and wickets in hand.

  The highlight in the field was young Sam Curtain showing vigor and fleet-footedness at 3^rd man late in the game. Most importantly he showed that listening to the captain’s instructions pays off in the field

  TOTAL 1/167

  Special mention must go to all those who came to support the team.
  Beth, Jo, Sarah, Sally, Julie, Will, Navina, Trudy and Kristin (who ruled himself out of being a late substitute with a net related injury)

  The signs look good for the of rest season so keep your chins up.

  Luke Curtain; Curto, The Captain, Viv Richards, The Master Blaster

• 21Nov

  Match Preview: LiV Quokkas v The Prince Patrick Hotel

  Match Preview, OZ News, Prince Patrick Hotel No Comments

  Match Facts:
  LiV Quokkas v The Prince Patrick
  27.11.11
  13:00
  Ramsden Street Oval, Clifton Hill

  
  The Big Picture:
  The Quokkas are coming off their last game with a definite feeling of ‘what might have been’. Approximately 16 dropped catches and several full tosses let The Union, a strong batting side, take the game well and truly away from them.

  The Quokkas have been emailing each other rapidly in response and even managed a net session, which was cut cruelly short by a drinking session.

  The Prince Patrick are something of an unknown, with this being their first season in the league & no-one really that sure of where their pub is.

  With some very strong “ins” this match is a great chance for the Quokkas to get back on the winners list at our spiritual home.

  Form Guide:
  Quokkas: W-L

  Watch out for:

  • Bad Boy – hasn’t bowled a ball in anger this season but has done plenty of good work umpiring, the Quokkas are looking forward to their B&F from 2010-11 returning to the fray;
  • Robbo – The ninth new Quokka to debut this season, Robbo has shown plenty in the nets with good pace and shape, should be like a virgin in a brothel: providing a handful with the new ball;

  Team News:

  • Its “all change” for the Quokkas this game, with 7 players going out and 6 coming in.  Only in Quokka land does that add up;
  • Our beloved scorer, Sarina, is also out for this game – so someone is going to have to learn how its done;
  • After dominating with bat, ball and gloves this season – Curto now shows us what he can do with the captains hat;

  Quokkas (possible):

  1. Rowdy
  2. Rev
  3. J Bomb
  4. Emu
  5. Gregor
  6. Dutchy
  7. Curto (c)
  8. Pup
  9. Snoop
  10. Bad Boy
  11. Robbo

  Quote:
  “where the hell is the Prince Patrick?” – everyone

• 19Nov

  Match Report: Union Hotel def LiV Quokkas by 4 wickets

  Post Match Report, Union Hotel, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Last Sunday 13^th November saw the LiV Quokkas take on the mighty Union Club Hotel.  It was always going to be a tough day on the park for a Quokka squad featuring several new recruits, pitted against last season’s runner up.

  Quokkas brought the barbecue (minus fittings) and therefore chose to bat first.

  Batting

  The Union struck early.  Big Dog was caught fishing wide of his off stump, and Snoop was out soon after to a good ball that pitched at the stumps – a rare and unlucky occurrence at Pub level.

  That brought Ed and Curto to the crease, and both performed very well against quality bowling.  Ed’s unbeaten 34 was a highlight.  Curto quickly reached 30 runs also, but in true cop-action-movie style, was cut down on the eve of his retirement.

  Jazzron struggled early before a brief rain delay, then came back out to keep struggling on the way to 23.  Radar showed some good middle-order aggression, belting three boundaries and helping himself to 22 runs in quick time.

  Morts and Tiger were unlucky to miss out, but will have plenty of opportunity as the season unfolds.  Pup (with some nice shots off his hip) and Paz batted out the remainder of the overs.

  DNB: Mo, Rev.

  TOTAL 7/135

  Bowling

  The Quokkas were fairly satisfied with our total of 135, but it simply wasn’t enough against a very strong batting side like the Union.

  Rev took the new ball, bowling a fuller length than we’re used to seeing from him.  Unfortunately the Union’s top order treated it with little of the respect it deserved, leaving him with figures of 1/19 from his two overs.  This theme continued for the remainder of the innings.

  The innings wasn’t without its highlights, though.  Paz and Morts showed a lot and could easily have picked up more than one wicket each.  Tiger snared a couple to keep us in the match, and Mo was typically tight, taking 1/11 at the end of the innings.

  Curto did his best to fire up the troops with some excellent glove work and lively chatter, and overall our efforts in the field was above average.  Special mentions go to Snoop with two catches, Paz with three catches, and Big Dog who seemed to field every second ball.

• 09Nov

  Match Preview: LiV Quokkas v The Union Hotel

  Match Preview, OZ News, Union Hotel, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Match Facts:
  LiV Quokkas v The Union
  13.11.11
  13:00
  Alfred Cres, Edinburgh Gardens
  
  The Big Picture:
  After The Newry forfeited the last game, denying The Quokkas their first chance to shine on the main oval at Edinburgh Gardens, this weeks game promises the in-form and upbeat Quokkas a chance to hit the park against one of the leagues powerhouse teams.  The Union were in the final of the last Big Day Not Out, whereas The Quokkas were bundled out in the first round as part of an amalgamated team.

  This is the chance for The Quokkas to really see where they are up to against some of the premier opposition in the league, or at least enjoy the cosy surrounds that Alfred Crescent has to offer.

  Form Guide:
  Quokkas: W-

  Watch out for:

  • Radar – one of three new Quokkas making their debut in this game, he has shown plenty in the nets so far, swinging the ball prodigiously. He also has the best excuse for missing a game in the history of the Quokkas, his band (“Oh Mercy”) is up for an ARIA award;
  • Snoop – also debuting for the Quokkas, actually filled in against us in one game last season when the opposition were short and nearly won the game for them, lets hope he puts in more of a Quokka performance while donning the Grey and Maroon;
  • Morts – the last debut, spliced several Quokkas in twine at The Revs bucks party, firstly with his leg spin (taking 7 for MINUS 17) and then with his cocktails.

  
  Team News:

  • A good mix of old and new Quokkas in this game, lets try and make sure we win to get back to the Labour and see if we can get Roman to crack a smile;
  • We have 12 available for this game, which will mean 11 will bat and one will bowl only (“the enigma” returns!) – unless we have drop outs;
  • Jazzron is captain for this game;

  Quokkas (possible):

  1. Big Dog
  2. Tiger
  3. Snoop
  4. Mo
  5. Curto
  6. Radar
  7. Morts
  8. Pup
  9. Paris
  10. Ed
  11. Jazzron
  12. Rev (Enigma)

  Quotes:
  “Bring it on…13 Nov…” – Sean P Jeffrey, Captain of The Union

• 27Oct

  Quokkas 125 def Curtin Hotel ~103 (Rowdy 41, J Bomb 30-odd, Rev toofer)

  Curtin Hotel, OZ News, Post Match Report, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Match Report courtesy of our captain on the day, Dutchy…

  The first hit out for the Quokkas was to be against the Curtain, traditional rivals, in as much as we were playing against them and we had played them before. Hence the tradition.

  The Curtain threw the first tactical punch by turning up well before us and proceeded to warm up, whilst we were still in the process of, err, turning up.
  Not to be out done we stymied their naive efforts by denying them beer; a tactic obviously on target as they sulked around listlessly.

  New face Clamp and Jazzron opened the batting and gave us a solid start. Almost too solid, as memories of last season’s closer Tavare/Boycott efforts started to seep in and the natives were starting to get restless but Clamp and Jazz opened up and got the runs ticking. Greg soon followed and after Clamp finished off his masterful 41 with a Six, was joined by J-Bomb. These two then proceeded to liven things up with the willow.
  Gregor fell and I joined J-Bomb and from memory i was supporting J-Bomb’s efforts by trying to make him run three’s and four’s as often as possible.
  J-Bomb followed the team plan and also ended his knock with a Six.

  Rev and Rob kept things moving along and new faces Paris, Tiger and Curto did likewise.
  Pup got a golden duck but it shouldn’t count as it was to a bowler wearing 3/4 length jeans and a New Romantics haircut.

  A total of 133 which must be close to our highest score (that i know of?) and quite defendable.

  In the meantime Jazzron had been cooking up a storm and the team’s new signature dish, grilled dim sims, were introduced to Oooo’s and Aaaah’s. MasterChef Quokka award going to Sarina.

  We took the field, ignoring the Curtains’ whimperings about the heat.
  I decided to engage a captaincy masterstroke of only bowling our openers for one over each and keeping them for later in the game; a masterstroke i only became fully aware of when it was pointed out to me later in the game. We struck early, and then relatively regularly knocking over their top order and subduing the runs but the Curtain bit back and by halftime they had racked up 78. Things were looking tight. After drinks we spread the field outwards, inwards and sideways. This ply seemed to work, helped along by their best bat reaching 30 and leaving the arena.
  This allowed us to make inroads again and stem the flow of runs. The Curtain were choking under the pressure but required less than a run a ball. Tiger demonstrated why it IS wise to wear shoes whilst bowling, but not surfing. Their best bat soon returned after we had knocked over the tenth wicket and promptly proceeded to send a Jazzron thunderbolt down Paris’s throat on the deep leg boundary.

  The relief was palpable.
  Not so palpable to ‘il Capitano’ as I proceeded  to rev the team up in the middle to get the next wicket. Just one minor problem; Our victory had robbed us of the opportunity to take twelve-for!

  In summary, a great team effort. Consistency was the key, with some outstanding performances by Clamp and J-Bomb with the willow, Jazz with the gloves and the BBQ, Solid performances by the other rookies Curto, Paris and Tiger. More consistent bowling and fielding including some great catches by Pup and Paris plus two run-outs by the men wearing gloves (another Quokka innovation) brought the win home

• 19Oct

  Quokkas v Curtin Hotel – Match Preview

  Curtin Hotel, OZ News, Victorian Quokkas No Comments

  Match Facts:
  LiV Quokkas v Curtin Hotel
  23.10.10
  13.00
  Fairfield Park, Fairfield (next to the TAFE)
  
  The Big Picture
  A new season, a new pub and some new faces all add to what is promising to be a huge summer of cricket for the Quokkas.
  
  With 10 games scheduled in the YPCL, as well as the Big Day Not Out, team management has been busy recruiting some fresh talent to get us through the summer, along with moving the team to a pub that has a publican who has actually expressed interest in the team.
  
  The corresponding fixture last year involved 2 members of the Tramways turning up 2 hours late & then forfeiting the game, giving us a good chance to have a warm-up and get to know each other.  The Quokkas accounted for the Curtin relatively easily last season, so it’d be good to start the season on a high again.
  
  Form Guide
  Quokkas – last appearance was being bundled out of the BDNO in straight sets
  
  Watch out for…

  • Luke “Curto” Curtain – one of the new recruits from the LiV FC, Curto has turned up to 2 of 2 trainings so far, impressing and confusing teammates in equal measure.  Capable behind the stumps and has shown promise with bat and ball, could be a valuable addition to our all-rounder category (bringing it to 1);
  • Andrew “Tiger” Ellis – another recruit from the FC, but not an FC, Tiger managed to impress all with his level of toughness by smashing his own knee during the footy season.  From the great state of NSW, tiger also adds to our diversity policy;
  • Jon “Rowdy” Clampett – something of an enigma, The Clamp is a mate of Curto’s who can apparently bat.  For this reason, we are letting him open with the Big Dog;
  • Pup – is on 46 career runs, can he score the 4 required to make his 50, or have I jut put the mozz on him?

  Team News

  • Three new faces coming in for this game to accompany the old hands;
  • Dutchy will be captain for this game;

  
  
  Quokkas (possible):
  1.       Paz
  2.       The Clamp
  3.       Jazzron (wk, unless knackered)
  4.       Pup
  5.       J Bomb
  6.       Gregor
  7.       Curto (wk, unless Jazzron is knackered)
  8.       Rev
  9.       Dutchy (c)
  10.   Tiger
  11.   Rob
  
  Quotes:
  “So you’re the cricket team? You better bloody win and get some punters back here” – Roman Leopoldseder, Publican of the Labour in Vain greeting the team after training on Sunday
  

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