The Quokkas are an internationally franchised drinking team with a cricketing problem
Renowned for our fearsome lack of fear on the cricketing pitch, we bring our unique brand of sporting ineptitude and enthusiasm over ability to the ovals of our opponents
Being a pub cricketer is a life of dichotomy. You love the game and want to play, just not at the expense of anything else you have in your life. A warm Summers day spent at the markets may lead you to think “This’d be a great day for cricket” wistfully, and then you move on to the fish aisle.
And so we enter this, our last YPCA match for the Season, with only the Big Day Not Out and a couple of tour matches to go. Will we miss our afternoons in the field together? Absolutely. Will we find spreadsheets play with and seats in the MCC to kick during the cooler months? Probably.
It’s been a great season so far with a couple of grouse additions to the team, as well as the return of old and newer faces. The “net session” at Animals place was definitely a highlight. Lots of fun to be sure.
The Vic Hotel is a team that, I believe, we haven’t crossed paths with as yet and so look forward to getting past that awkward stage where our eyes initially lock, before we are slow dancing in the middle of the field.
Form Guide:
The Quokkas are coming off a rollicking good time in The Pride Game last week, which we lost, but that was hardly the point. Everyone had a great time and we are stronger as a club for it.
Before that, though, was our first win against the mighty Nomads. This is territory so uncharted that Id almost expect Jean Luc Picard to be involved.
The Quokkas are putting together an awesome season together with great work in the field, some big hitting and disciplined bowling. Well done all, let’s go and enjoy The Empress on Sunday afternoon.
In the Spotlight:
He’s back baby. After a couple of years of sea-changing (or is that changing the sea?), The Sizzle has returned to the Quokka fold.
The man in the Bluey returned in last weeks Pride game and showed us what we had been missing; flat sixes smashed over mid-wicket, a complete disregard for skin cancer and the ability to produce young-cricketing prodigys.
Welcome back Sizzle.
Team News:
It’s been a busy schedule for the last few weeks, but we’ve managed to get through it without injury or disinterest and as a result still have a full complement for Sunday:
F1
Prez
Dutchy
Radar
Jay
Alex [c]
Sizzle
The Animal
TBC
Fargo
Oscar
Pitch and Conditions:
This is the first time we have been invited to play on the wrong side of Sydney Road (excluding the game in Adelaide) and we welcome the opportunity to play at the well-tended Poplar Oval ground that is part of Royal Park.
It will be interesting to see what Royal Park is renamed to once we become a Republic, I for one nominate the name: Beers on the field.
It’s looking cloudy on Sunday with a top of 20 and possibilities of showers, so we should get a full game in and hopefully some ring-a-ding-swing.
Stats and Trivia:
Sizzle has some lovely and symmetrical batting figures: 111 runs at 11.1 and a top score of 33;
Thailand uses the Buddhist calendar, we are currently in the year 2566 BE using that Calendar;
Dutchy is 2 runs off 200 for the season, fair effort that;
The scene in which Toby Maguire catches all of the food on the trey in the Spiderman movie (2002) was not done with CGI, but he actually caught everything – it only took 156 attempts (much like my attempts at hitting a 30)
Because the tour was somewhat hastily arranged, there wasn’t time to put the usual tourist pack together with some information about our destination. So, I will do that now.
Southend, closed since 1960, is tucked conveniently on the arse end of England, and is the murder capital of Essex, home to more drive through fast food restaurants per square mile than anywhere else in Britain and famous for being the home of the Access credit card. Home to the Shrimpers, a county lines issue and serious lack of culture. We recommend vaccinations for typhoid, cholera, yellow fever and rabies. Exemptions applicable to anyone that has visited Benidorm in recent years.
Somewhat surprisingly, according to Wikipedia, this seaside `resort’ receives six million tourists a year. [Ed: That’s six million in total ever, right?] I have absolutely no idea what sort of person would be attracted by a slogan “Southend, it’s shit, but not as shit as you think” or a TripAdvisor’s number one recommendation of “Leave and leave quickly”. When we asked a local where they would recommend we go for food the first reply was ` Leigh-on-Sea’ the second “KFC”. At that moment I knew this was just the sort of place the Quokkas would thrive. To be fair Southend is the place that gave birth to the simply brilliant The Horrors [Ed: try `So Now You Know’ followed by `Still Life’] but sadly they weren’t playing a homecoming gig that weekend. Hmmm. Seagull, you have outdone yourself here.
By the time I found my stab vest and joined the rest of the tour party watching the Blue noses beat some other wretched Championship side on Sky, I’d missed out on Three Shells Beach, the `simply awful/awesome’ Heroes Bar, a trip to the Adventure Island Amusement Park, and the sight of a swarm of bee-hived wearing ladies chasing a choir of travellers down the promenade. However, there was still time to feel robbed despite the £1.95 price for a pint of Dickens, experience the 90s again with turbo shandies and be entertained by a sixty year old women in a luminous orange dress dancing to the macarena, on her own, intermittently dipping two small Sesame Street dolls into her large glass of gin and tonic. Oh yes, Benidorm has nothing on this place. With expresso martini on tap (Dobbie indulged), what’s not to like?
Despite the Mos Eisley cantina vibe, we decided to find somewhere that had people with more than three teeth, settling on the Revolution bar. This was the perfect place for Skip to test the charms of his midlife crisis leather jacket, Driver to fall in love with Green Frogs and Dobbie to ruin Skips night be guessing his age at mid-fifties. Again, to be fair, when later queuing for a nightclub, we all looked old enough to be the bouncers Dads and unsurprisingly failed to gain entry. “Look, you’re either undercover police officers or you’ve come to take your daughter’s home. Either way, you’re not coming in. Good night lads.” Seafront karaoke-kebab it is then.
The Yak’s snoring, a hotel room positioned such that there was little point paying entrance fee to the prementioned nightclub, and the need to get up at O seven hundred, to put money in the parking meter, meant sleep was in short supply. Would a tour be a tour without sleep deprivation? Still, a pub lunch next to the ground would provide the perfect tonic. Sadly, a lack of cars meant I had to mop up the waifs and stragglers (Mini Dobbie Dave, Faggie and The White Gold Chicken Nugget Irish Driver). Still, at least it gave me the opportunity to bond with the clucking smack addicts in the park who, despite also suspecting me to be an undercover police officer seemed friendly enough.
I tempted Driver out of bed with promises of a McDonalds dinner date, however with only 45 minutes before the game was due to start and a 50 minute journey time, it probably wasn’t a good idea to frequent Southend’s top ranked restaurant on TripAdvisor. For information purposes, milkshake and sundae machines were broken [www.mc-broken.co.uk]. Standard. Faggie and Dobbie eventually surfaced, but the desire for Donna kebab breakfast box didn’t improve our schedule.
With hangover in full effect, Faggie’s morning got a whole lot worse when he broke the recliner mechanism on the car seat and he was forced to sit at an acute angle for the entirety of the journey. That journey time was extended by a three car pile-up, which put us in the almost `not worth turning up’ timeline. At least we got the opportunity to get slow drive past of all eight KFC drive throughs on the A128 amidst the repeated out of town `shopping experiences’. The Seagull commented that the “UK has become a smaller US, only shitter”. The one upshot of our timekeeping was that with four men absent, there was little choice but to bat first, thereby avoiding the possibility of fielding in the searing heat.
Orsett & Thurrock CC 195-8 (Radio 3-28) beat Quokkas CC 192-4 (Skip 71, Faggie 54, Radio 20)
Despite our tardy timekeeping, the home side were very forgiving, clearly understanding that a game of cricket can get in the way of a good cricket tour. A delayed start, meant we arrived just in time to see Ali out third ball. His credentials as a `better batsman than bowler’ still remain in doubt. Radio John settled the ship, playing a vast array of French cricket shots. He was joined by Skip, who once again raised his game on tour, playing a great innings with a vast array of shots, all of which mostly ended with the ball going to cow corner. Todd showed his usual flashes of brilliance, before being out caught. Standard. Faggie then took charge and plundered runs to all parts and ensured we had a healthy score to defend. He and Skip were eventually out, leaving Irish and Seagull to play for their averages.
At tea, we worked our way through a hundred weight of Bakewell slices, sweating pork pies and more fruit than White Gold has eaten in his entire life. We discussed whether fish was halal, the transmitting of the internet through beams of light, and possibility of Kyle arriving accompanied by a gaggle of immigrants rescued on his route from Cornwall. Fascinating stuff, but with Skip not getting any younger, we took to the field.
The Yak and Dobbie opening the bowing. Both grabbed early wickets, but with runs flowing, especially from Dobbie’s half trackers, Evil Dave was brought on and made an immediate breakthrough thanks to a brilliant catch at square leg by Egg. After that, just lots of retrieving balls from the boundary really and with two very well set batsman, it looked like the game was running away from us. When Evil Dave pulled a hamstring, Ali came on and bowled 6 overs for nine runs, but no wickets of course.
A retirement by one of the batsman and then Seagull claiming the other during a half decent spell, created a glimmer of hope. Some Faggiesque running, and a smart throw from Egg immediately got another wicket. Game on.
On came Radio and he proceeded to rattle through the tail, taking three wickets. One of those came from perhaps the slowest deliveries ever witnessed. At one point it looked like it would run out of steam before reaching the stumps, but the batsman gave it a helping hand by playing on. Cheers.
In the end, the game came down to the final over, but a tremendous cover drive from the number 11 saw them home with two balls to spare. Tremendous stuff, orchestrated beautifully by both skippers.
A few swift halves, and we were on our way back to Southend. Radio and Ali got themselves a curry at The Shagor. No Shaggarama on the menu though. They are missing a trick there me thinks. The rest of us frequented San Fairie Ann, which offered us mounted stuffed animals, strawberry daiquiris and a level of darkness only people of Skip’s age appreciate. It was time to move on, with MooMoos providing a safe haven for half cut Quokkas, but also providing a stark reminder of just how bloody old we are. Since when have hits from the 2000s been retro? The last thing I remember was Skip messaging at 4am to say he had just seen a mother and small child walking the streets. This is not the place to be venturing out on your own mate.
Quokkas 191-6 (Sam 80, Faggie 44 n/o) beat Southend-on-Sea CC 187-7 (Skip 3-18, Faggie 2-41, Sam 1-15)
Another early morning rise to keep parking wardens at bay gave me an opportunity to join Ali and Radio on a romantic walk on the world longest amusement pier, but a Muffin Break with Yak won the day [Ed: What happens on tour, stays on tour]. The close proximity of the ground to the hotel meant we all arrived on time, except Ali and Radio who misjudged the length of the pier.
In 1948, Don Bradman’s invincibles scored 721 runs at the Southend-on-Sea Cricket Club’s Southchurch Park ground crowd in front of 16,000 spectators, the highest score ever in a single day in first class cricket. It might take the Quokkas all season to get those runs, but with the match being live streamed on Youtube [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DeDSFAhgJ8&t=20737s], the audience could extend to millions.
With Evil Dave flying too close to the sun, this created an opening for Sammy. He did his best to fill Evil’s shoes, scarring the life out of several 13 years old batsman with his pace bowling, breaking one lad’s toe with a yorker and later scoring 80 runs, but do come back soon though Dave.
Ali and Faggie opened the bowling and the former thought he had an early wicket when the umpire raised his finger after his LBW appeal, but to his annoyance a clear thick edge had the Quokkas calling him back. Despite this, Todd complained bitterly about the lack of lbws. I don’t expect to hear any further mention of me giving him out lbw first ball of his Quokkas career when plumb in front.
Faggie got two excellent wickets during his eight over spell. I wondered if he would have the energy to bat after that? These skippers that bowl first in the baking hot sun are a bloody nightmare.
Sam and Skip (first change) displayed very contrasting styles, with Sam coming off a run up that would put Whispering Death to shame and Skip moving like treacle with an anchor. Wickets tumbled, with Todd grabbing two catches behind the stumps. Do come back soon though Herc.
Just as we had them on the ropes, White Gold, Radio John, The Yak and Dobbie brought a buffet to town. Runs flowed, although it wasn’t all plain sailing for our opponents, with play having to be stopped for a mobility scooter riding dog walker taking a shortcut across the square. Amidst the carnage, our friend with the broken toe came back in and got his fifty, with Faggie dropping him shortly after.
187 looked a decent score, but when asked to help yourself to beer at the bar, no one cared about run chases. Dead pony clubs all round. With a fruit bowl decimated, White Gold ordered a KFC for tea, during which we discussed all things Leicester City, learned that Kyle had made it as far as Plymouth and then took advantage of new Quokkas jumpers with the temperature falling.
A reversed batting order saw the Egg and Dobbie open. Not really much point anyone else padding up. However, the scorers pencil sharpener wasn’t required. Dobbie did hang around for a while, with Sam keeping him well away from the strike. Eventually a delivery was faced and that was the end of that.
Sam continued to see the lion shares of the bowling, as the Yak and Nugget rotated the strike, and he scored at will. It was a tremendous innings, punishing everything short and wide, but resolute in defence, when needed. Disappointingly, having put on 50 with Seagull, he was out, just a short of his century.
That brought Faggie to the crease. A slow start was proceeded by some excellent stroke play as he carried on where he left the previous evening. When Seagull was out, Todd just increased the pace and they saw the Quokkas home to their first ever second day tour match victory, probably. Quite clearly not enough candle ends were burned or beer consumed. Binman and Zoolander will no doubt readdress the balance in Estonia next year.
Our thanks to Orsett & Thurrock CC and Southend-on-Sea CC for hosting us at such late notice. We absolutely loved our time in Essex and look forward to returning. White Gold still has a few KFCs to visit.
Quokkas CC 182-8 (Faggie 67 n/o, The Yak 43) beat Coldharbour CC 178-6 (Skip 3-35, Smoothie 2-7)
What could be better than Sunday lunch before a game of cricket at Coldharbour? A Sunday lunch before a game of cricket at Coldharbour without Herc. A beautiful summers day dinning on roast lamb at the Plough was only partially spoiled by Radio painting a picture of himself taking on burglars bollock naked armed only with a walking stick and small penknife. Herc completed the job, with his usual non-stop high frequency gibberish. Perhaps they should rename the Mosquito alarm (a machine used to deter loitering by emitting sound at high frequency) to a Herc alarm? Herc, you know you have found someone special when you can shut the fuck up for a minute, but just as Vincent Vegas said, `I guess we are not quite there yet’. We love you really Herc [Ed: I don’t] and besides, only the weather can ever ruin a day out to Coldharbour.
Having said that, the highways agency did its best, with roadworks sending Quokkas on a five mile wild goose chase. We did lose Pablo Ali, but that was something about a damaging a finger playing tennis with Herc’s mum I think. We still managed to put out a full side, thanks to Driver filling in at last minute. After a busy 18 months, Satan took the week off, which meant my fantasy league bowling attack was now decimated.
My loss was Shut up Herc’s gain, as he grabbed a place in the side. Such is the clamour to play for the Quokkas right now, we seem to have sent Todd to drink when he failed to make the eleven. Or was it the other way round? Whatever, it was great to welcome The Mosquito back, his phobia of uncomfortable silences has been badly missed. By the way, for Drivers effort, he got a golden and a badly bruised hand, after dropping a simple catch off my bowling. Thanks for coming. I say simple, but really it was nigh on impossible, but anything remotely in the vicinity of a fielder is counted as a drop and minus five fantasy points these days.
OK, what you really don’t need after failing to trouble the scorer when batting or overworking him when bowling, is me pointing it out in a Quokkas match report. What you need and what Todd wants to read about here are two different things though. So, a reminder that Driver got a duck, Herc also got a duck and went for ten from his solitary over, the Prof scored two and saw 36 taken from his three over spell and Radio went for 20 from his over. Meh, that’s pretty respectable compared to the 53 scored from two overs I conceded here back in 2016.
Mind you slow bowling at Coldharbour is a challenging business, which is why pacemen like Fruit Smoothie were the order of the day. He was his usual unplayable self, going for just one run an over and with Skip rolling back the ever increasing years, between them, they managed to pull our opponents back after a healthy start, especially when Skip got the opener caught behind. The odd full toss from Quokka’s bowlers did make its way deep into the bracken, but if I can score a six on this ground, anyone can. All in all, we bowled pretty damn well.
In the field, Radio John showed every one of his 93 years, the Professor made an art out of catch avoidance and there was some nice falling over from Skip and Seagull. Skip actually had three dropped in one over. The Professor got his fingertips destroyed by a powerful straight drive, Seagull failed to swoop a low diving catch and Faggie dropped a dolly at slip, albeit making up for it later with a brilliant one handed grab in the covers. On another day Skip could have got six wickets, but that would have had to be a day when the Quokkas were supplemented by fielders that could catch.
While we are talking of dropped catches, Arunav dropped a dolly, again off my bowling, moments after I had described him as a proper cricketer. He’s a proper Quokkas, that’s for sure. Re-reading this text, it makes it appear that I could have had several wickets, and that’s true, but in reality I was as shit as Herc, well almost.
At the close of their innings, yeah I forgot to mention that Skip had won the toss and put them in, Coldharbour had scored 178. “Gettable”.
Over tea, we discussed Drivers relocation to Sunderland, Quokkas crack habits and various island tour destinations including Isle of Man, Isle of Wight and Isle of Skye. For Skip, the most important isle appeared to be at Sainsburys, with the woopsie isle raided of several black forest cheesecakes. Lovely.
The afternoon started badly for the Yak, discovering he was missing his Yorkshire pudding from the pre-match roast. A wicket, two catches and a tremendous batting performance improved the mood, but when Faggie successfully put Plan TTY onto action, it was like the day had gone full circle. I’m not sure what’s worse, missing a Yorkshire pudd or missing out on a half century when called to make a suicidal run. I’m still smarting that my Yorkshire was half the size of everyone else’s, so maybe the former.
With Faggie hanging the the Yak hung out to dry, he had little choice but to redeem himself by playing a masterful innings against some bloody good seam and swing bowling. Once again he demonstrated some nice cut shots, but it was the excellent foot movement that turned good length balls into half volleys that really caught the eye. Conan and Radio provided good support, and a Seagull six off the penultimate over set it up nicely for Faggie to get the winning runs.
Apart from Radio’s magnificent six earlier in the innings, the highlight of the day for me was the return to form of the Bow Tie Killer. A spotless display behind the stumps was followed by some cultured back foot batting, including his famed pull shot. Unfortunately his failure to find the world’s smallest middle on the `baby bat’ was his undoing, just as he started to look comfortable. We look forward to seeing more Conan Smashes as the season progresses.
After the game we returned to the Plough for a beer to celebrate the win and have further discussions about the Welsh brexit vote, car maintenance and tugboat captains. A day out with the Quokkas has something for everyone.
Hope the damaged finger isn’t too bad Ali. See you all up norf next week.
It is with heavy hearts that we bid farewell to season 2020/21, a season which meant so much to so few. After the 15 (?) weeks of lockdown, the possibility of being on an oval with 10 of your mates trying to knock over 2 other “cricketers” seemed quite the pipe dream.
Incidentally, if you are dreaming of pipes, you could be a plumber.
Which reminds me, why should you never buy drugs off a plumber?
You never want the plumbers crack.
Things are going as seamlessly as ever.
Back on track though, it has been therapeutic in a way that I didn’t realise to get back on the park this season, so many thanks to Ed, Foz and all the team at the YPCA for all their hard work in making it happen.
Many thanks also to the good people at Nerrena CC for hosting us (again), the offer for us to host you is absolutely alive and well. Maybe a few Covid symptoms, but never mind.
Final thanks goes out to everyone who has turned out for us this season, it wouldn’t be possible without you giving up your precious Sunday afternoons to spend time with a plethora of fearsome athletes.
This weeks game is the last for this season, and while previous Autumns have been positively scorching, this year has been as cool as the mood in lockdown, giving us hope that Sundays game will happen without any guarantee.
That being said, its been a great season, if not on the field. The Big Dog played his 100th, Local played his 50th, and this game will be Jays 50th for the club. But more stats later.
Form Guide:
Well, it hasn’t been great of late. We were fairly well drubbed by the Terminus in the last game and pipped by Nerrena before that. That being said, there have been some great efforts put in (though maybe not in the catching department) and the conviviality of the team is as high as the number of useless cricket training objects J Rod has collected.
In the Spotlight:
Yup, this guy
J Rod is having what can only be described as a golden summer. 120 runs with the bat at 24 and 62% of his runs coming from boundaries, with an average of 8.18 runs per over. Moreso than that has been his bowling this season, taking 5 wickets (oh yes, he’s near the top of the wicket-takers and run-makers) at 20 and going at only 7.14 an over, he’s also taken ONE CATCH this season!
Stats and Trivia:
I was disappointed that in all the hype around The Big Dogs 100th that I missed Locals 50th. I can comfort myself that he still owes me for the bet around whether Steve Smith will ever Captain Australia’s Mens Test side again.
In the words of Heath Ledger, here we go:
As mentioned above, this will be Locals 51st game and Jays 50th for the club, many thanks to you both, you tireless servants
Jay has played in 32 YPCA matches and batted 30 times for 591 runs @ 32.83 (not bad) and a high score of 38*. He’s also taken 31 wickets (5th highest overall) at 16, giving away 6.24 runs per over. You’ve got to bowl a bit worse to get wickets at this level, champ. He’s also the leading catcher for this season with 6. Pity we don’t have an award for that.
Local has played 35 YPCA games with 34 Innings, scoring 526 runs at 18.79 with an incredible high score of 46. When he goes, he goes big. He’s also taken 21 wickets at 24, going at 6.81 an over if you don’t mind.
Yours truly is on 396 YPCA runs and is hoping to join the 400-club with the likes of Snipper. Sure, 20 less innings, but so what?
Dutchy is on 980 runs conceded in the YPCA, does he have it in him to join the stratospheric region that is the 1,000 club? I’ll give him every chance to do so.
Well they say it’s not over until the fat lady sings, in our case it was the slightly stoned off spinning opposition captain final over slow slings.
The Curtin got off to a flyer, 0/117 at drinks, but in the second half Dutchy’s Doosras and Peter’s Pingers pulled them back and we held them to 7/187 on a quick outfield at Fairlea West.
The Quokkas got off to a good start with Tuesday & Alex retiring, Local switch hitting and Snipper hitting his first ball for 10months for an 88m six, 2/108 at drinks, easy from here…..
Dutchy, Jrod, Slick and Peter got us close with 3 runs required off the last over. It was drinks at the Curtin (refer to the opening line).
As with every year, expectations were high, and tactical planning was abundant. I always look forward to this day, generally only to be pretty disappointed with my own performance. With the exception of last year. Hence why I have the privilege of writing this report.
The quokkas drew a strong royston team in the first round. And surprise – that’s as far as it went. Confirming my theory that we are one of the better bowling teams going around, we did really well to keep the royston to around 120 from memory? Everyone bowled great, with a. special mention to Jack who took 2 maybe 3 (?) wickets near the end of the innings.
Everyone really put in on the field, and I think we even held catches. Batting wise – it was just a bridge too far. After a particularly slow start from me, we were just in too deep a hole for the rest of the order to climb out of. Snipper made a 20 I think and maybe one more person got there (?) but we really never got too close to looking in the game.
Having said that – I’d like to thank everyone for their efforts on the day. We tried really hard, and played with great spirit. My job was really easy and it was actually a really good day. Pretty hard coming up against these teams with batting orders packed to the brim with big hitters. The 10 over game is just so suited to them. Reckon we give anyone a fair shake over 25 overs. So no need to hang our heads about it. Looking forward to this year’s event if it happens!
The archives have been found and we’ve been able to dig out some old, previously un-posted, match reports from Captain Radar:
First game back for the season and as has become tradition I was entrusted with captaining the team. From memory as I wrote this today (over 12 months later), it was perhaps one of the more gloomy days we’ve played cricket on.
Not for the last time in the season we were playing against brand new opposition. It was great to play against some unknown opposition and as with the game against The Clyde later in the year, great to play against a team with a bit of diversity.
We played a pretty strong game. Batting particularly well with 5 people making 30’s. Big Dog, Alex, Jay, Ed and Sizzle all reached the milestone, with Dutchy also contributing a 29.
Bowling wise everyone kept of very tight, with pretty much the whole team only conceding low double figures runs wise. Jay and Local both took two wickets, with a notable mention of Local again who took 3 catches.
Got pretty wet there for the end of the cherry tree’s innings, with a couple of rain delays. And the quokka’s target was never really threatened. Great game to start the season.
It’s the last game of the 2010s for the Quokkas, with the boys in maroon looking to end the decade victoriously, or at least with a few laughs.
A quick browse of the 201011 season folder on my computer revealed little in the way of stats, but I did find a photo of Pup and the Big Dog.
Big Dog and Pup c 2010
In all, that’s what we’re all about; giving people a go and bringing people together through the medium of pub-grade cricket. It’s been quite a journey over the last ten years, but more on that another time.
For now, its all about getting this Sundays game organised and executed with as close to eleven “players” as possible. And having some fun.
Incidentally, many thanks to the 101 friends / family / passers by to line up for us over the last ten years. It’s been fun and I think we’ve created some smiles.
A quick look at the “Rainbow Hotel” folder on this very site indicates that we haven’t beaten this weeks oppo for many years, with yours truly bowling one of my special many-ball overs, and hitting the winning runs the last time we did beat them.
There you go, sometimes strange things happen when giving everyone a go.
Form Guide:
The Quokkas have been in unprecedented form (weirdly coinciding with my unavailability), knocking over The Clyde Hotel with relative ease in the last match – losing only 1 wicket in the chase in fact.
Thanks to J Rod for representing the true Quokka spirit.
Artists impression of the Quokka spirit
In the Spotlight:
As two of the founders of the Club, its probably about time Ed and The Big Dog got a bit of publicity.
#realopeners
THE DOG is in career-best form with the bat, having creamed 58 runs in his 2 innings so far off only 61 balls. Both innings have also been not outs. If he were to start a band, it’d be called The Foundations.
In addition to this, he is on 598 career YPCA runs, so needs only 2 to be the third player to score 600 runs or more. He has also taken 47 YPCA wickets at 22, which works out to be nearly 5 wickets per season or 0.72 per match.
This will also be his 91st total appearance for The Quokkas, ten more than the clubs second-highest wicket taker; Ed.
One of two players to have scored more than 1,100 runs (G’day Dutchy), Ed has a YPCA batting average of 39.46, a high score of 58* and 27 not outs to boot. He always talks down his footwork, but with 89 fours and 33 sixes, an even 50% of his runs come from boundaries; so there may not be too much movement there. Ed is not out in 49% of his innings.
Our “offie” has also snared 46 YPCA wickets at 18, and is equal for most catches on 25 (G’day Tuesday) with an impressive average of 0.43 catches per match. Ed is also 3rd for run outs / stumpings (5) behind Radar (12) and Curto (6).
Team News:
After having a list as swollen as a belt after Christmas lunch, the numbers are down this week and we have just the ten available at the time of writing. Jay is Captaining though, which almost mean at least 14% more fun and entertainment, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we have 20 ins by Sunday morning.
Ramsden Street is a personal favourite and I was moved but unsurprised when it was renamed Revsden by the local council in recognition of my sporting achievements there.
Its looking like a cool morning with a top of 22, so it should be rather pleasant out there.
Stats and Trivia:
This will be J Rods 50th appearance for The Quokkas and 38th YPCA match. Well done mate, its always a pleasure to hear how happy your family are when you leave the house
On milestones, this will be Jays 40th total appearance for The Quokkas. The TFB has been a near-constant in his years with the club and certainly makes it a richer place
Alex is on 470 career runs, averaging 39.17 for his career and 65 for this season. Statistically he should get to 500 Sunday if given the chance.
Local is on 449 career runs, so just needs the one to get to 450. Interestingly, he has conceded 446 career runs, so has one of the best runs for:against ratios in the team
Special is on 87 career runs, only needing 13 to make it to his ton. Well done that man, he’s got there in 7 innings, it took me about 7 years.
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