• From Captain “Big” Dave…

    What an honour it was to captain the Quokkas again in our Pride match against Holy Trinity CC.

    In What can only be described as our biggest match of the year, we had a cast of thousands and everyone was ready and rearing to go at 9am.

    Off they go

    The day started with a gracious bat flip & Holy Trinity chose to bat. Jay opened the bowling strong and kept them to on their toes. Partnerships didn’t last long, as they retired after about 20 balls.

    They played hard, batted well and scored quickly. Lots of chatter in the field kept Quokkas spirits up, mostly from Dutchy who at one point declared “they’re swinging more than a Camberwell couple”.

    With all that swinging, They did manage to get the ball over the rope a few times.

    Our fielding was tight, thanks to having a couple of extra hands in the field, Charlie and Max giving them no room to move.

    Some accurate bowling from Fargo & F1 saw them lose a couple of wickets, Charlie helping Radar with yet another rapid stumping. Holy Trinity setting is a target of 163.

    F1 and Radar got Quokkas on the board early, with Rohan retiring on 20 in the fourth over. Some tight, straight and accurate bowling from HT kept us on our toes, none more than Dutchy, Oscar & Big Dave who managed to get a total of 0 off 6 deliveries between them.

    Fridge hits out

    Prez & Max steadied the ship with a partnership lasting a Couple of overs, Charlie also showing them how to do it. Fargo did he best to show his all rounder skills, with a special guest appearance by the six-hitting Sizzle.

    We managed a respectable 103 off our 20 overs, but cricket, sport and diversity were the real winners of the day.

    Nice one, Quokkas
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, 5th of February

    Hayes Park, Thornbury


    9am start!

    The Big Picture:

    This is the second time that The Quokkas have been invited to play in the Holy Trinity Cricket Club Pride Round, and something we are very proud and excited about.

    The Pride Round is a great way to celebrate and promote inclusiveness in Cricket, which is pretty-much what The Quokkas are all about; giving everyone the chance to play the game regardless of age, gender or any other category you can dream up (even ability).

    Happy Days

    The corresponding game was great fun and we are all looking forward to more of it this Sunday.

    Form Guide:

    I should probably write more about this, given our incredible (and initial) win over The Nomads in the last game, though I may leave that for a more appropriate time. I think it will be a long time before we forget that one. I think its going to be a long, long time.

    The Quokkas have been in good form though and a large and supportive squad that is excited about having some fun this Sunday.

    In the Spotlight:

    Big Dave takes the helm as Captain for this game and we are all looking forward to his acknowledgement before the game.

    Dave was one of 3 Quokkas to hit their top score in the last game (along with Fargo and Hendo) and few of us will soon forget the unadulterated joy he exuded when he hit his first 4 last year. 

    Aside from batting heroics, Big Dave has also been something of a wizard with the ball, taking 4 YPCA wickets at 18 while only going for 6.55 RPO.

    Team News:

    Really proud of this, particularly given the game starts at 9am, but we have a plethora of Quokkas turning up to this one to support the cause.  I’m going to be coaching the HTCC U10s on the neighboring oval, but Maxy will be taking my place.

    1. Big Dave c)
    2. Max (vc)
    3. Prez
    4. F1
    5. Ed
    6. Dutchy
    7. Radar
    8. Jay
    9. Oscar
    10. Sizzle
    11. VP
    12. Animal
    13. J Rod
    14. Ami
    15. Fridge
    16. Fargo

    Pitch and Conditions

    Hayes Park actually has pretty decent Astro-pitches and the outfields are green and pretty flat considering the amount of cricket and dog walking that occurs on them.  Soccer training has started too, so perhaps a few more potholes than normal, but hardly mouthguard-requiring-areas.

    The BoM tells me that we are expecting some cloud cover with a top of 21, so pretty nice conditions if a little cool in the morning.  There may be a bit of dew about too, so possibly a slow outfield.

    Stats and Trivia

    • This will be the VPs 20th Quokkas appearance (18 YPCA, 1 T20) – unless he has detention;
    • The Animals efforts with the bat took him to exactly 150 career YPCA runs for The Quokkas (at a very healthy 16.67), shine on you crazy diamond;
    • Although it isn’t a YPCA game, J Rod is sitting on 39 wickets so very close to joining the burgeoning 40 wicket club;
    • Radars efforts with the gloves in the last game took him to 51 career YPCA fielding dismissals with 19 catches and a whopping 32 run outs / stumpings.  For context the next best is Ed with 38 (33 catches, 5 run outs / stumpings)
  • From Captain F1….

    W J Cox oval, an oval the size of a postage stamp and a pitch with a width not that forgiving. With the clouds around and the humidity about, it was perfect conditions to replicate Steve Harmison’s famous first ball of the Ashes. 

    The Nomads were going to host an amazing BBQ and due to this they were sent in to bat. We were gifted an orange ball which felt a lot harder than the traditional cricket balls we have played with. After discussions with the various Vice captains within the Quokkas (approximately 10 in total), we needed a different gameplan to tackle the strong batting side of the Nomads. One over spells was the tactic to be employed for our innings.

    The first 12 overs were not great. We leaked around 135 runs and we only managed two wickets during this time and their team have retired two of their batters. A few extra drinks during the break and we really turned up our fielding. Every player was backing up the throws and our bowlers were keeping the economy down. We managed to restrict them to 218 by the end of their innings!

    The pick of the bowlers was Pete ‘The Animal’ with 2/19 from 3 overs but all our bowlers really contributed in that second half of the Nomad’s innings.

    219 was definitely a score that could be chased down as long as we have batters in the shed. The field size was small so as long as we hit it in the gap, we should be able to score runs. The Nomads immediately set an aggressive field to try and create wicket chances. This didn’t work early as Radar was seeing it like a beach ball and scoring quickly. Ed was just on the opposite end and focusing on a well built innings. However, soon as Radar was eyeing off retirement, the Nomads pulled off a miracle catch to dismiss Radar for 28 from 13. Alex was next in and he and Ed put on a 20 run partnership before Ed was  caught and bowled for 15 from 16. Alex kept at the same attacking gear and putting away each delivery for 4, unfortunately he was bowled for 21 from 9.

    By the end of the 12th over, were were below par at 4/111 as Dutchy had performed the Quokka BBQ of burning Prez. To redeem himself, he top edged a bowl near his temple and re-energised his innings to retire at 38 from 20. We had an attacking cameo from Hendo which unfortunately ended when he perfectly picked the fielder at deep square leg, ending his innings at 20 from 10.


    Our innings was at 8/171 in the 21st over. 48 runs needed from 4 overs. The Animal and myself trying to work out what we need to do with the comfort that Dutchy is in the sheds. The Animal was in charge of rotating the strike which he did cleverly and my job was to just get bat on ball, which all 10 VCs kept reminding me. The final over required 16 from 6, The Animal and I already agreed just to hit out or get out as Dutchy could come back in and finish the job. 2 sixes and a couple of hard run 2s managed to finish the job for the Quokkas and we won with 2 balls to spare!

    A memorable game for the Quokkas!

    Radar and The Animal
    Cricket is very much the winner
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, January 15th

    Burnley Oval, Burnley



    The Big Picture:

    Welcome to 2023!  I read something the other day that said the theme of my year would be the song that was #1 on the charts when I turned 23, which turned out to be “wherever, whenever” by Shakira.  If you can trust anything in life, it’s the internet.

    That being said, with The Quokkas form so far this season, we will look to take our opposition on wherever and whenever – and often with success.

    This week sees us return to Burnley Oval to take on The Rainbow Hotel.  The corresponding fixture last year was played in fits and starts due to some pretty torrential weather, though ended with us neither fitting nor starting and being rolled by our old friends.

    The last time we managed to beat The Rainbow, our Token Fast Bowler (not Radar, Jay) was Captain, and so he is again.  Here’s hoping we ‘Dare (la la la)’ to take the game on and Jay helps us to ‘Did it again’.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are in good form this Summer, possibly benefitting from the cooler weather on their (mostly) older bones, with 3 wins from 4 matches and the one loss possibly being due to incredible use of Crocs.

    With a mix of (again) older hands and some YOUTH being injected into the side (courtesy of The Empress), the camaraderie and spirit is certainly ‘Loco’.

    In the Spotlight:

    The Animal hosted a brilliant after-training session last Sunday, treating those in attendance to some of his home brews.  Absolutely delicious stuff – many thanks to the wild man on two wheels.

    On top of this, the long-haired one has scored 137 YPCA runs at 15.22 and taken 7 YPCA wickets at only 6.76 runs per over.

    Team News:

    The summer break has obviously invigorated a few bodies and we are well stocked ahead of Sunday.  The Squad (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Hendo
    2. Big Dave
    3. Ed
    4. Dutchy
    5. Alex
    6. Jay (c)
    7. Radar
    8. Fargo
    9. Animal
    10. Prez
    11. F1
    12. Fridge
    13. Rev

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Burnley Oval may be one of the more distant grounds that you have to travel to in the Pub League, but it’s certainly worth it.  The outfield almost always has grass with very little in the way of pot holes or dog shit.  The pitch itself isn’t too narrow, the toilets are almost always open and there are BBQ facilities available. 

    If only it wasn’t more than a 10 minute drive away…

    It’s going to be a scorcher on Saturday, but Sunday looks a lot more reasonable with a cool change coming in and a top of 23. Remember to slip, slop, slap and slide.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Ed is currently sitting on 58 career YPCA wickets (average of 18.66 at 6.43 runs per over), could the former off-spinner swing his way to being the first to 60 this weekend?
    • Radar has hit 983 YPCA runs and is well-placed to be the third to crack 1,000 this weekend, currently averaging 84 for the season)
    • Jay, 39 YPCA wickets (average 18.21, 6.4 rpo), is one away from joining the 40-club with Dutchy and I
    • This will be The President of King Islands 10th YPCA match for The Quokkas, she is averaging over a wicket a game and has become a most welcome member of the team
    • Shakira is accused of defrauding the Spanish government of 14.5 million euros through tax fraud
  • I saw Haley’s comet in 1986, Aguero’s 93rd minute goal for ManCity’s first premier league title in 2012 and I was there for Glenn McGrath’s half century at the Gabba.

    But on Sunday December 11 2022 something even more rare and prestigious occurred. We’ll all remember where we were sitting (on the esky, scoring) when Dylan Nichols in his 63rd game retired 31 not out!!!. And it wasn’t a scratchy 30, there were shots through cover point that made grown men cry (the bowlers). 

    Men: This will bring you to tears

    Although insignificant to witnessing the moment many thought would never happen, the Quokkas won the game through swashbuckling batting from Dutchy and Alex 70 & 40 respectively and 30’s to Oscar, myself and some guy calling himself The Rev….261 on the board!

    Dutchy on his way to a very angry 70
    Oscar, smashing 6s
    Ed, doing something

    The Rose got off to a flyer, but after drinks some tight and wicket taking bowling from Jay, Alex & Dave B (who’s tribute to the Rev was a wicket off his 15th delivery) and 2 catches and a stumping to the man you can’t keep out of the game, Radar and the Quokkas won easy, 261 to 216.

    Jordan, opening the bowling despite injury

    I have a feeling the stats were updated pretty quickly after the game…. 

    (editors note: many thanks to Slug for the photos)

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, December 11th

    Fairfield Oval, Yarra Park Dve




    The Big Picture:

    Similar to the tea break after a delayed commencement to a Test, The Quokkas have their last game of 2022 this Sunday after only getting started. 

    We are, though, coming into this game with some good form (see below) which has been based on some excellent fielding efforts, and the addition of excellent recruits to a reasonable settled squad (thanks to The Empress).

    This game sees us take on our old friends from The Rose hotel, whom we haven’t played since March 2021 in what was a game in which J Rod showed his Hulk tendencies and we were unable to chase 140-odd.

    Form Guide:

    Two wins from three games is a suspiciously positive start to the season for The Quokkas, the last one of those wins being pretty comprehensive; holding The Pinnacle to 169 (nice) before chasing it pretty easily in 20 overs.

    There were 6 batters who either retired or were not out in that match, as well as some fantastic efforts in the field; Ray Jayner taking screaming catches (plural) a highlight. Kudos also to Radar for another fantastic effort behind the pickets with multiple stumpings.

    In the Spotlight:

    While his numbers this season have been staggering, it’s hard to quantify the impact Radar has had this season. 

    Yes, he’s averaging 151 with the bat (strike rate of 1.82 and 30% of the total team runs), but he got the chance to bowl last week and picked up a couple of poles; including the wicket to finish the game. On top of that, he’s taking stumpings and marshalling our fielding innings.

    Well done Radar.

    Team News:

    The word “unprecedented” has been thrown around a lot over the last few years, and selection at this time of year is probably not an occasion to use it.  Christmas, Covid and “can’t be arsed” have all played a role in squad availability, though we do have XI at the time of writing:

    1. Ed ©
    2. Jay
    3. Radar
    4. Prez
    5. Rev
    6. Linguist
    7. F1
    8. Dutchy
    9. Alex
    10. Animal
    11. Big Dave
    12. Fridge

    Pitch and Conditions:

    We are back to Fairfield Oval this Sunday, the site of many happy days out even though it has become something of a cabbage patch of late.

    The weather looks pretty iffy for Sunday, but when hasn’t it this season?

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be Radars 70th match for The Quokkas (55 x YPCA, 7 x BDNO, 5 x T20, 2 x VBCA) – congratulations to the man in the ink – he is also closing in on his 1000th YPCA run, currently sitting on 966 but averaging 151 this season
    • Prez and TBC both had their top scores in the last game (17* and 21*) – congratulations both
    • After being the first Quokka to 1,000 runs, Dutchy has kept accumulating and is only 2 off 1,600 YPCA runs
    • It’s all very even in the wickets this season, with four players having taken 3 and four having taken 2 – though Big Dave got all of his in just one match
  • From Captain TBC….

    The day dawned blearily, but thankfully a sizzling light bacon aroma seemed present. Checking the radar presented a small chance of rain, but nothing to bank on. Sigh: captaincy looked likely to sit heavily on my shoulders today.

    After rechecking my responsibilities email from Rev, I start to ponder how to approach the day. Uber or bicycle. Food that might stay down. Drinks. Some dissolute wandering clutching a bacon and egg sandwich ensues. My lightly comatose reverie is broken with my first (and most significant) support for the day: Slug! Not only is he offering me a lift, he’ll bring along extra water and snacks to see me through. Game on.

    The muggy weather held the promise of a tough day, but there was no time to waste with rain threatening. The Curtin were running a little low for numbers so we graciously allowed them to bat first.

    Bowling highlights were concentrated pre-drinks….

    F1 and Ed opened with Ed taking an early wicket but (like the rest of us except for Jordan) copped a few boundaries.

    The runs started to dry up with Alex, Oscar and Rev all putting in some great bowling. Most of this greatness was sealed by Radar whose work behind the stumps would put an electric wicky to shame, very few balls getting through and 3 stumpings.

    6 for 80 at drinks. Coasting…. Into a storm of 10+ an over and the recently retired going the tonk. While fielding didn’t live up to the heroics of the last game, we were pretty tight and kept the errors (my 2 dropped catches aside…) down.

    Big call-outs to debutante Oscar with a tough boundary catch and a wicket, plus saving what seemed like 20 runs with diving action at cover; also to Pete who also picked up a tough catch and wicket on debut. Great to see! Call out also to Jordan strangled them for runs, plus got a played-on, and 2 wickets to Alex.

    Curtin all out for 229. Then they buggered off to buy chicken.

    Our batting was consistently inconsistent. Once again Radar did the damage – to the scoreboard and Alex. Run out off a sumptuous Radar straight drive touched (?????) by the bowler.

    There was a hubbub of excitement with Oscar coming to the crease. He said he was a batter and had already done well in the field. The unknown quantity:


    geeze he’d better get a move on! With his eye in he picked up the run rate to score 34 of 35, before breaking my heart getting out 2 balls before retirement.

    J-Rod popped in with a nice 16 before a run of outs against some frankly far too good bowling for this stage of a pub game. I barely had time to get my pads on before coming in at 10. 

    Stoked that I hit a couple of boundaries. A rare occurrence indeed. 

    Not as rare however as being caught by a keeper wearing Crocs

    Rev helped me in a rearguard action and put in a great overall performance with 2 wickets, 18 off 15 and a reverse cut. Amazing that he still has it in him.

    This is the picture you wanted included right Ed?

    A final flurry from Radar, a run out, and the game was done. 229 to 148 to The Curtin.

    We had a good crowd back at the Curtin for what we thought may be their last drinks ever (possibly no longer true) and the banter and friendliness on the field continued at the pub.

    Thanks for the friendly captaincy suggestions from all the far more skillful players about me on the day, the Curtin for good craic, and Slug for photos and ensuring I turned up!

  • Match Facts:

    Alphington Park Oval,

    b/w Parkview Road and View Street,




    The Big Picture:

    The impending end of the ICC Mens T20 World Cup this weekend (is it this weekend? It feels like it’s never ending) should bring joy to the hearts of cricket-tragics everywhere, its only the start of November and the real stuff is just getting started.

    Some would argue that the real stuff got started months ago with the Matador Shield competition being kicked off on Karen Rolton Oval, but neither of them were answering their phone, so no more to be ventured or gained on that front.

    All eyes will be on Alphington Park Oval this Sunday as The Quokkas take on old friends, The John Curtin Hotel.  Somewhat ironically – or perhaps appropriately – The Curtins existence is being threatened by property developers, which should reaffirm your political beliefs if nothing else does.

    The Curtin are one of the few teams we have a trophy match against, the prize of which currently sits on their shelves thanks to a classic match.  Actually, you could do worse than spend your free time in revisiting some of our past encounters, there are some classics in there.

    Here’s hoping for another!

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are coming off a rare win against The Royston; piling on 206 runs, largely through the help of Radars 83, and holding a very good team to 177 through an excellent bowling and fielding performance.

    While consistency in Pub Cricket is as hard to find as a free pint, The Quokkas are heading into this game with more than a little pep in their collective step. Or is that pop in their hop?

    In The Spotlight:

    TimBChapman advised me some weeks ago that he has a “massive wedding” the night before, and so has been promoted to Captain.  Should be good fun in the humidity.

    But in all seriousness, the bloke has been a wonderful addition to the club, laughing at my jokes and our general attempts at cricket. 

    Team News:

    Without wanting to jinx us too much, we begin this week with a more than full complement for the Game Sunday.  With my left shoulder suddenly doing over-40 things, I’m happy to take my position as a scorecard specialist and possible extra fielder if / when required.  Ed has also adopted the position as specialist swing bowler, discarding the vulgaries of batting, so we should be Ok to get everyone a go.

    The squad, at the time of writing, is (in no particular order):

    1. Tim B Chapman (c)
    2. Prez
    3. F1
    4. Oscar Canning
    5. Dutchy
    6. Radar (w/k)
    7. Alex
    8. VP
    9. Pete Wells
    10. J Rod
    11. Ed
    12. The Rev*

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Alphington is possibly the nicest ground in the YPCA, though that is to be properly tested later in the season when we take on the Vic Hotel.  That being said, that game will be played once Summer has properly started and the grounds have been baked. 

    Alphington should, at the time being, be its lovely lush self and offer no reprieve from the expected humidity Sunday as the dew evaporates under the afternoon heat.

    Good times for sweat enthusiasts.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Radar is obviously in pretty good nick, having hit 83 in the last game.  A little more interesting is that his first 31 came off 22 balls and the second 52 runs off…22 balls.  Amazing.  He’s also only 2 runs off 900 YPCA runs in total (avg 24.27) – well done that man;
    • F1 zooms back into this game having scored 75 YPCA runs, but does have an average of 25 – so should hit the 100 this weekend.  Statistically speaking.  He also has only conceded 49 runs from his bowling, a runs for:against of 1.53 – the best in the club for any player with more than 5 matches;
    • On the subject of runs, Ed is 3 off 1,300 YPCA runs in total and J Rod is sitting on 794 YPCA runs.  The man in the Maroon strides is also 1 wicket off 40 in total for his career.  Elite areas.
  • From Captain Radar…

    The Empress returned for the new season with a settled squad. Fielding at least 10 players who played in the BDNO at the end of last season. It seems a settled squad helped the team as they were able to beat the powerful Royston Hotel who, despite missing one fairly handy cricketer, are still one of the more formidable teams in the league.

    Still a great way to start the season, as they’re also one of the most enjoyable teams to play, with a great bunch of people, and matches always played in great spirit.

    The Empress batted first and got off to a really good start, with everyone pushing the scoring rate and running hard, all while playing their natural game.

    I was rapt with how we kept the game moving, and even though we lost a couple of wickets through the middle overs, I didn’t think we ever got bogged down.

    Dutchy and myself retired, with notable contributions from J-Rod who hit the ball as far as I’ve seen him hit it, before getting out bowled leaving a ball around his legs (very J-Rod) just before he would have retired and Ed who played a very typical-Ed-lower-middle-order-rear-guard, before the family partnership of The Animal and myself played out just about to the end.

    I thought the real positive from the day was the incredibly solid bowling and fielding performance from everyone in the team.

    We’d set a decent total of 206 which gave us some wriggle room to be a tad defensive with field placements, but we stopped every boundary that should have been stopped and took a few important catches. Every fielder was incredibly disciplined and holding their positions and giving their all. Bowling was tight and full outside off all day. No batters were given an easy ride to boundaries with a few bowling some impressive spells to take timely wickets.

    Notable performances with the ball were Big Dave with 3 wickets (along with being the fielding MVP again), J-Rod with 2 wickets and Jordan whose bowling never fails to impress with 1 wicket but really not giving the batters anything to hit. Really though everyone bowled amazingly well, so it’s hard to single anyone out. 

    The Royston got to 177 which bloated quite a bit due to my second over of trash mediums that were absolutely spanked by their number 11.

    Great game all round.

    Onto the next game.

    Curse = broken


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