• From Captain Snipper….

    One minute we’re walking out on the field, bowl pretty good, get a bit unlucky in the field, go out to bat, don’t hit enough sixes and what feels like 10 seconds later we’ve lost the match.

    Ahhh the BDNO.

    We had some stand out moments – Monty copped it tough being peppered at deep mid wicket but kept his cool and remains a massive legend in my books.  Gaz was kept busy at deep-backward point and saved a bunch of boundaries without putting a foot wrong.  Pup affected an insane run-out off his own bowling flicking a direct hit at the non-strikers end from side-on, some credit for which must go to J-Rod who obligingly departed the field so that I could bring Pup on (thanks J-Rod).

    Rohan kept wicket tremendously and took every chance that came his way.  Jay bowled a tight line getting the most out of the flat track.  Big Dog bowled a really tidy penultimate over and claimed another scalp.  Alex tossed one up and got carted for four, then dared the batsmen to do it again and got the wicket next ball and another one the ball after that.

    Ed’s over was water-tight and also removed someone’s leg stump while Local closed out the death sharply.

    The fact that hardly any runs (maybe 2?) were scored behind square leg was testament to our good line – the stumbling block being the semi-regular drag-downs which disappeared over mid wicket.

    We were kept well in check with the bat and unfortunately just couldn’t find the boundary enough with the exception of Dutchy who made retirement in the usual quick time.  I flat batted one over square leg that missed a small child’s face by a few inches… horrific situation avoided.

    Luckily the only drama that followed was that we pretty easily lost the match.

    Sincere apologies to those who missed out on the chance to contribute with the bat namely Pup, Big Dog, Monty and Local.  Your understanding and sportsmanship was truly appreciated despite some obvious frustration.

    Also big thanks to Kathleen behind the bar and those who put in so much time and effort behind the scenes for the wild and unique event that is the BDNO.


  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, March 4, 2018

    Alfred Crescent Oval, Edinburgh Gardens
    Fitzroy North





    The Big Picture:

    The Big Day Not Out (BDNO) has been more agile than a Quokka fielder in recent seasons, moving from the end of the season to anytime where the Edinburgh Gardens is available during the Summer.


    This seasons effort has been moved to the quasi-traditional spot at the end of the season, providing the garlic sauce effect by adding a little more spice to the contest as YPCA teams battle it out for supremacy in the T10 format.


    With the ICC looking to get T10 cricket included in the Olympics, now would be a good time to get the IOC to look away at something else.




    It is with a little sadness that The Quokkas go into this game, as it bids adieu to what has been a busy Summer, but a thoroughly enjoyable one in which the squad actually won some games and really supported one another throughout (almost).


    Thanks for everything, all of you.


    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas come into this game having narrowly lost to the ANSC by about 20 runs, or the difference of their best player. Given this format is much shorter, the opportunity for good players to score 40-odd is non-existent, which works in the Quokkas favor.


    Huzzah for lack of opportunities! Bring back serfdom!



    In the Spotlight:

    Pup comes into this match after the best game of his career (that we know of), having scored 46 and bowled some crazy left-arm swing. His Runs Per Over rate this season is an incredible 3.6, which is probably a little too ridiculous.


    Snipper is Captain for the match, having been the best on ground last season. The man in the shades has “only” averaged 27 with the bat this season, but done so at a strike rate of 2.08 & with 74% of his runs coming from boundaries (44% sixes) – which is more than enough for the BDNO.


    Team News:

    Young snip-snip has a quorum of Quokkas to choose from this week, including:

    1. Ed
    2. Big Dog
    3. Dutchy
    4. Jay
    5. Alex
    6. Radar
    7. Monty
    8. Pup
    9. Snipper
    10. Local
    11. J Rod
    12. Gaz


    Pitch and Conditions:

    Autumn will truly be on show this Sunday, with a wet and windy day predicted and a high of 21 degrees. The start time of 11am may include some tough conditions and sore heads, but may help the bowlers with swing.


    Alfred Crescent Oval is notable for its small boundaries, which can appear to get mysteriously smaller once the batsmen get started.

    Screen Shot 2018-03-02 at 10.50.37 am

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be the Quokkas 8th attempt at winning the BDNO, this years squad arguably being the strongest since Rowdy and Gladys appeared;
    • Ed and Pup are the only players to appear in every Quokka BDNO, with Dutchy and the Big Dog having missed 1 each


  • From Cap’n Monty:

    What a great Game between the Quokkas and the ANSC!

    The toss was had and won by us (thankfully) and we sent it the All Nations guys for a bat. Luckily for us the we had the ball swinging and seaming and everyone managed to bowl good line and length, a rare treat for the quokkas. I managed to make the first breakthrough with a wayward delivery down leg which caught the back of the bat and was held on to in the deep by pup. The batsmen crossed and I had the other opener caught behind very next ball, on a hatrick!! We bought the field in and had 3 slips, a first for pub cricket, and I was belted back over my head.

    Enter Dutchy: Some brilliant spin bowling and some excellent keeping by Radar had the batsmen stumped as he chased one down the wicket on the last ball of the over. His next delivery yielded the very same result, on another hat-trick!!  Unfortunately no luck on the third ball but the Quokkas were in good nick thats for sure.

    Some excellent batting by the ANSC got them in a solid position toward the end of the innings and left us with a decent but chase-able total to reach to win the game.

    Radar and local opened and got us off to a solid start before Radar was clean bowled by a great delivery. Enter Pup. Pup played some great strokes early in his innings including a very nice cut shot for 6. Local departed soon after. We then lost a string of wickets quickly and were looking wobbly. Pup retired and I took his position. The first bit of bat I’d gotten on anything in 3 games was hit straight in the air and I was gone as soon as I was in.

    It was up to Snipper and Alex to save the game and we were looking good until Snipper departed, sending pup back in to finish the innings. A strong fight between Alex and Pup wasn’t enough to save the day as the ANSC came out on top to take a much deserved win!!

    All in all a great game of cricket.


  • Match Facts

    Ramsden Street Oval,

    Ramsden Street,

    Clifton Hill


    Start Time



    The Big Picture

    And so the penultimate Quokka day of the Summer is upon us with this, the match against All Nations Social Cricket (ANSC).


    The genesis of this match came from the games that The Quokkas used to play against the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (ASRC) which came to an ending as untimely as any of my batting innings, though more due to the volunteer who organised their team leaving due to work commitments, rather than one of my brain fades.


    The ANSC has picked up where the ASRC cricket program left off, providing a means for asylum seekers and refugees to access the game, and all the physical and mental health benefits that this brings – as well as engagement with the broader community.


    Indeed this game is more a celebration of what the game can bring, rather than a demonstration of the game itself, which is a good thing considering the strong Quokka involvement.


    Here’s looking forward to a fun match.




    Form Guide

    Unbelievably, The Quokkas are coming into this match having won their last two.


    In The Spotlight:

    Monty returns to the field of dreams (Ramsden St) this weekend for his first crack at the Captaincy. Having shown that he obviously played quite a bit of junior cricket through his reticence to swing wildly at every ball and the ability to bowl on the pitch, it will be interesting to see whether he goes with 4 or 5 in the slips cordon.


    The BIG DOG returns to the side this week with this seasons leading wicket takers award firmly in his sights. The soul of The Quokkas is sure to surprise the ANSC with his bowling technique, here’s hoping the deep midwicket fielders can surprise the rest of us by holding a few catches and handing the large hound the trophy.

    Artists impression of batsmen facing The Dog

    Artists impression of batsmen facing The Dog


    Team News:

    With another 8 months without cricket staring them in the face with an expression as lifeless as the MCG pitch, its been all hands up in response to the call for availability at the start of the week.


    The squad (at the time of writing) is:


    1. Local
    2. VP (vp)
    3. Gaz
    4. Roley
    5. Pup (vc)
    6. Jay
    7. J Rod
    8. Snipper
    9. Radar
    10. Big Dog
    11. Monty (c)
    12. Alex


    Pitch and Conditions:

    Ramsden Street Oval (aka. Revs-den) has been a happy hunting ground for The Quokkas for many a season, as well as their preferred training venue.


    With wide boundaries and short grass, the ground lets both the belters and the nudgers score runs, as well as open up many more opportunity for (dropped) catches.


    Our last match their ended up not being there, but another place that wasn’t there, so we will be very happy to be there where it is.


    The forecast for Sunday is a potentially damp 20 degrees, so there may be some swing early and better batting conditions later. A good toss to win.


    Stats and Trivia:

    • Dutchy is only 30 runs off 200 for the season, and 35 off one thousand career runs, which is quite remarkable really and quite a credit to him;
    • Jay is sitting on 17 career wickets, a casual 3-wicket haul will bring him into the elite group of 20 wicket takers. Given he averages 0.4 wickets per over, he will need to channel his inner Chef (0.94 WPO);
    • Snipper is only 20 runs off 400 career runs for the Quokkas, given he averages 47.5, he should get there this weekend if given the chance. Only 5 other Quokkas have hit more than 400 runs
    • Alex is currently leading the team for balls faced this season, having faced 17.5 overs, narrowly ahead of Ed 15.8
    • Ed is leading the team in legal deliveries for the season with 84, narrowly ahead of the reborn tweaker Dutchy, who is on 78. Of course, The Rev has the most number of total deliveries with 839


  • From Captain Alex:

    Woke up 11am.

    James said he’d pick me up.

    Got a strong latte.

    James picked me up midday-ish.

    Got another latte.

    On root to Ramsden Street Ed says we got booted.

    Stand by for a new ground.

    Ed sorted out a ground near the Yarra.

    Grass was long and short and the pitch was notably narrow.

    Vote to Ed for sorting out new ground.

    BBQ set up no worries.

    Cones dropped.

    Quokkas fielding first.

    I asked everyone to pitch it right up at the toes.

    To bowl em.

    To avoid short balls which traditionally get hit for runs.

    Opening bowlers didn’t bowl as good as usual.

    Bowled short.

    Got hit for heaps o runs.

    That’s essentially it.

    Ground was Gallipoli-esque and ball was soap.

    Dog didn’t mind.

    Held catches.


    Even Ed stuffed a few up.

    Bowled myself.

    Realised the bowling was hard yakka.

    Narrow pitch was crippling.

    I understood.

    I bowled shit.

    At drinks we were up against it.

    BUT – we had a great attitude going on.

    Big talk in the field.

    Heaps of encouragement.


    We decided we would try to get through the overs real quick in the second half.

    I reckon that worked well.

    Rohan kept really well.

    Kept rolling the ball back the bowler real quick after each bowl.

    The batsmen were caught off guard.

    Pup bowled like a legend.

    Even after being flattened by a large bloke with no sense of spacial awareness.

    Ed bowled good.

    Local bowled good.

    Dutchy bowled real good.

    Fielding remained a challenge and we let a few through.

    We really kept the run rate down toward the end.

    Pressure was high.

    We walked off at the the end of the innings like a bunch of legends. We supported the hell out of each other while under the pump. It wasn’t an easy day to be captain. But an easy day to be proud of the Quokkas attitude.

    We needed 220ish to win. lol.

    Dutch and Pup opened.

    Dutch got out.

    Dylan came in.

    Dylan blocked it to a fielder.

    Called yes when he was 3 paces from the bowlers end and took a few extra skips past Pup.

    Bowler rolls ball to keeper.

    Keeper knocks bails off.

    Rainbow think it’s all pretty funny.

    Pup surprised to see Rev his end o pitch.

    Rev stands his ground.

    Pup displays an impressive feat of maturity and martyrdom decides to solve the stale mate by leaving the field.

    Top order collapsed.

    Local and Dog looked good but saw red and got unlucky.

    I went in at 6.

    Over 8 maybe?

    We were probably on 60ish.

    I hit excellent cricket shots and retired.

    Then Ed did the same.

    Rolley did a good job of holding up an end.

    I came back in and batted like Brian Lara.

    Then I got out which was shitty because we could have won if I had of kept my head and batted on.

    Ed continued to bat like a hero.

    We lost.

    But only by 20ish.

    Which is incredible.

    As captain I was so impressed with the Quokkas attitude.

    We faced a better team and almost got there.

    We (almost) maintained a positive and supportive attitude all day.

    Then we went to the Rainbow, proud as punch.

    See you in Nerrena for some quality Quokkas cricket. 

  • Match Facts:

    Ramsden Street Oval, Clifton Hill

    Sunday, January 21


    Start Time:



    The Big Picture:



    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas nearly snatched victory from the jaws of defeat last week against The Royston in a game they should have lost by a lot more. The ability to recover from 5 for 60-not-much at drinks in their batting innings to post 170-odd and then nearly defend it was a great effort.


    Batting first certainly was tough on a very slow pitch and outfield & The Quokkas showed great resilience in making it into a game.


    I do make a lot of jokes on here about traditionally bad form and lack of success, but the men in maroon have been really taking up the fight this season; active in the field, supporting each other and having some fun with it.


    More of that and there is no reason why we can’t get another W this weekend.


    Quokkas: WWLLWLL


    In the spotlight:

    The prodigal son, Pup, returns this week for his annual match that allows him to qualify for the BDNO. That’s not fair, Pup has played this season, but hasn’t  batted – so does it count? Given that I didn’t really bat for my first 15 years as a Quokka, I will say his efforts do count.


    Pup, seen here doing stuff

    Pup is in synchronous career form, having bowled 60 overs for 20 wickets at a cost of 300 runs at an average of 15 at 5RPO. It takes me back to those heady first days at cricket stats school. Wild times, let me tell you. If anyone remembers what happened that night after we stayed up discussing the advantages of the mean average versus the median average, let me know.


    Team News:

    1. The Rev
    2. Big Dog
    3. Pup
    4. Local
    5. Ed
    6. Roley
    7. Radar
    8. Alex (c)
    9. VP
    10. Dutchy
    11. Monty


    Pitch and Conditions:

    Last weeks game was played in what can only be described as “Melbourne” conditions; starting in some coolish-damp weather before the sun came out and dried everything up. Its always a great excuse to blame the weather and conditions in deciding the result of a Cricket match, and that’s exactly what I’m doing here.


    Its going to be a hot week this week but will cool down to a respectable 29 on Sunday so at least it should be an even contest in that regard.


    Ramsden Street has been a happy hunting ground for the Quokkas in recent seasons and is located deliciously close to The Gasometer, so here’s hoping we make the quick trip back to the big red car Sunday evening.


    Stats and Trivia

    • Last weeks efforts saw Radar pass 400 career YPCA runs for The Quokkas, making him the 5th highest run scorer of all time. This has been done in 29 innings at an average of 17, with 48 fours and 5 sixes. Congratulations Radar!
    • This will be Locals 25th YPCA match for The Quokkas, to go along with his 4 BDNOs, 3 T20s and 1 VBCA match
    • Ed is only 21 runs away from 900 career YPCA runs, and given he is averaging 94 for the season, he should get there this week – if given the opportunity



  • The Quokkas win, Rev plays a switch hit (and pulls it off) and The Dog bowls the 25th over, all pretty standard for one of our games…..

    With the outfield and the tourists still sozzled from the previous night (one got barred from the Gaso) we had them on the ropes at 6/85 with all the debutantes (Gazza, Robby & Stewart) getting a wicket on debut to go with Jay rattling the castle and the now normal 2 wickets in an over from the reigning B&F who now adds club all-time leading wicket taker to his life achievements.

    After drinks, the tourists ring-ins Rev (21), Roley (Rev minus 21)  and the league president Fos (58 off 20) got them to a good score of 9/177 with the Dog, Jay and Radar grabbing more wickets. Jay 2/19 and Dog 3/24 sharing most of the spoils. Special note to Pup who took 0/1 in his 23 ball two overs.

    After another amazing potato salad and spread from the Dog (is there anything he can’t do?), Radar and Alex got us off to a solid start with 30* for Rohan and a Curtoesque 17* (16 singles) for Alex. The runs continued with Stewart 23*, Dutchy 36* from 14, Robby 27 and 23* from Gazza in the best quokkas innings ever played in a gray cardigan, plus he let the captain hit the winning runs.

    Quokkas 4/178 win with 11 balls to spare.

    Bring on the Terminus

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, November 22

    Fairlea East Oval, Yarra Bend


    13:00 EST

    The Big Picture:

    For a team that prides itself on participation over a focus on wins and losses, this season has been a real winner for the Quokkas. Going into the game with only ten available to play after 3 steady losses, the saggy maroons are in top form to play a team new to the YPCA league.

    This version of the Old Bar is new to the competition & little is known about their cricketing or drinking prowess. I’d like to think they are a rag-tag bunch of plucky misfits, but maybe that’s because I’ve been watching The Goonies again.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas go into this game still winless for the 2015/16 season, having snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in their last game against the good folk in Nerrena.

    In the Spotlight:

    Tuesday comes back into the team at the top of the order with his big-hitting housemate, the Quokkas are hoping that the man under the ink can bring some more big runs to start the innings.

    After opening with Dutchy last week, Alex helped put on a 44 run stand & also bowled his customary deep, deep heat – though without the short balls. If he can keep this form up, he could well go home with a firm piece of plastic in his hands on Gownlow night.

    Team News:

    After the rush to play at the start of the season, the Quokkas only have 10 available for match day at the time of writing for the second week in a row. With several on standby, we should get the XI up fine.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Absolutely nothing.

    Absolutely nothing.

    The Ten at the time of writing is:

    1. Pup
    2. Curto (c)
    3. Dutchy
    4. Local
    5. Tuesday
    6. Tuesdays housemate (man Friday)
    7. Chef
    8. Alex
    9. Jay
    10. Nick A-W

    Pitch and Conditions:

    And so the Quokkas trek back to Fairlea East, the home of knee grazes where backpackers go to disappear. Also the home of Shotguns 30, its truly the modern Bermuda Triangle. The ground is likely to be dry with a fast outfield, have no running water available or toilets. What a glamorous life these Quokkas lead.

    On the plus side, its only going to be 21 degrees.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Incredibly, Tuesday and Chef both sit on 142 runs off 9 innings with 3 not outs each – for a matching average of 23.67
    • Tuesday has, though, taken 13 catches – better than 1 per match
    • If Pup should bat in this match, it will be his 20th innings for the Quokkas. He has scored 248 runs (9th highest) @ 19.08 for his career and taken 17 wickets (4th highest) @ 15.12 (so far)
  • From Captain Dutchy…


    Beware the Ides of March (and Keyser Soze).
    The Rose, 1st of March @ Fairlea West

    Captaining is a unique experience. You are informed of your impending captaining-ness, safe in the knowledge that you shall be the only one. That and Emu+Curto weren’t playing so the bluff was on. Having decided some left field thinking was due for the Quokkas I promptly arrived at the ground at noon. Unheard of. As were my team mates. Upon phoning Rev and discovering the opposition were making requests for the BBQ bike as there were no such facilities at the ground, I smelt a rat whilst standing next to the perfectly functioning BBQ facilities. At Burnley Oval.

    In my endeavors to introduce Left -field thinking I had gone so far beyond the outfield as to be at the wrong ground. 20 minutes of channeling that Ford-financed-Ad-I-mean-Bullitt-movie involving Steve McQueen and the Green Mustang (not easy in an ex ambulance!) saw me safely at the correct ground.

    JRod had inspired (shocked) me the previous week by arriving organised so I decided to follow in those footsteps and wrote down a list for both bowling and batting.

    We only had ten but the Rose lads kindly agreed to supply a fielder. Perhaps they sent him to the Burnley oval as he never eventuated. Ironically we fielded much better than normal as we avoided ‘getting in each others’ way’ with one short. The Oval was looking strangely green, as opposed to its usual dead grass tones and not its usual cow-paddock come runway type speed.

    Cuz, another Nichols family member more talented than Rev, opened the attack and managed to miss the bat at a pace and movement not seen since Lennie Pascoe terrorised batsmen in the 80’s.

    Pup, and Snipper bowled the 2nd (8 runs) and third overs (12 runs) as part of the rotating (possibly confusing) one over each policy.
    Snipper seems to have developed the ability to bowl really good line and length and STILL get carted. There is no justice in Pub cricket. But more about that later…
    Bowl’en (I think Rev misplace that apostrophe just to wind me up!), Rev and Cuz all were at the wrong end of some lusty hitting by their captain (Tooms) but luckily my ‘left’field’ captaincy knew this would result in retirees. Both openers for that matter. Time for my secret weapon. JRod.
    I knew he could regain medium pace glory, as long as i gave him most of the match to recover before his second over. He proceeded to bowl two Maidens. Potentially a Quokkas first?!
    It seemed like the right time to hide my bowling whilst the batters were somewhat comatose. 25 runs, a wicket (we shan’t mention that someone dropped another chance nor shall we mention it was Bowl’en…) and a tea break later I could let the real bowlers back onto the track.
    So at the break The All new Rose were about 114 and the numbers were looking ominous. With the Rose’s first three batsmen making a combined 115 runs (all retired including 50!!! from Tooms). The Quokkas have historically entered a ‘recession we had to have’ like post drinks torpor. Or to be blunt we tend to get spanked in the second half.

    And then a miracle descended upon the ground, placed curiously next to a female prison. To be clear no prisoners descended upon the ground but an escape was the order of the day.

    Mick, Don ‘small goods’, and Rev were really tight (insert your own double entendre ) and then he arrived. The Big Dog.

    ‘Sending down’ isn’t really applicable as Dog tends to send the ball vertically upwards. He even hit the pitch consistently (it must be noted the pitch was 60% its usual width due to the City of Yarra’s ‘maintenance regime’ or lack thereof…). Never a dull moment as the Irishman, dreaming of Irish cricket glory (not the English captain’s. who is also Irish, but those actually playing for Ireland…) totally bamboozled the batsmen.

    One lad asked Pup who was behind the stumps “What does this guy do wit the ball?” to which Pup replied “Usually puts it over the midwicket fence”.

    Audible sniggering was heard from the crease, proceeded by repeated swishing of willow as the Rose batsmen managed a meagre 20-odd off Dog’s deserved three (YES, 3!) overs. Possibly another first for the Dog. And why? 2 wickets is why. We all gathered at his messiah-like presence as he held his arms aloft with a total look of “I told you so!” as fell at his feet. Don ‘smallgoods’ sent down a couple of handy overs and the Rose were starting to slow… Bowl

    Having only ten players turned out to be a strange blessing as it meant five of our bowlers had to bowl a third over. This resulted in Rev, Cuz, Snipper, Pup and the aforementioned Dog to make up the extra five overs. And what overs. Dog’s 2 wickets, a plethora of dot balls and only a handful of precious boundaries ensued and none of those pesky retirees revisiting the stage saw The Rose end up with 181.

    The batting scorecard looked not unlike one of those horizontal bar charts comparing a disparate array of elements. Such as Quokka email response-rate (some might place me on that top line…) or the variability of Local’s run-up length (it gets shorter with each delivery…).
    In other words, a big triangle.

    Back at the start of this tome I mentioned BBQ issues. The Rose didn’t bring one. There was genuine fear in some players’ hearts but luckily some lateral thinking saw a grand spread of sandwiches (which doesn’t really do them justice) placed before us. 181. Could we do that?

    Cinderella moments come upon us rarely but the romantic notion of sending Big Dog and Pup out to open seemed fitting. That and a good balance of belligerence and scoring ability.

    The Dog continued a spanking game by scoring 22 off 21 and Pup 18 off 12. A solid start and the captain was pleased.

    Snipper arrived at the crease continuing the merriment with 31 retired off 22 cherry-ripes. Small Goods meanwhile noodled out a handy 8. Thus it was my turn and reeling from some liberal feedback from fellow Quokkas the previous game, where I dared score at a meagre run a ball, I felt the need to get the worm pointing north and to keep the scoreboard ticking over. Feeling somewhat redeemed with a 31 off 20, despite an entire over (Tooms again!) of dot balls (the lad can bowl; when he hits the pitch; a rather disconcerting thing to face…).

    ‘Cuz’ meanwhile was diligently ticking along and only conceded two dot balls, ending in a J-Curve finish to his dig with a sequential 4-6-6-1. At the other end JRod was putting on a master class of running singles. No matter how far the ball was hit. The concept of a ‘two’ seemed about as likely as a Demon’s premiership and i may have given some ‘feedback’ whilst chasing Maxy’s lusty hitting on the sidelines.
    Nick, Bowl’en and Radar came and went in a flurry. Cuz’s last gasp had dragged the equation back within reach and with only ten players the Quokkas were back into the retirees. Re-enter Snipper, who added another 12, among which Radar was run-out in the urge to score. I walked back out and faced Tooms again! I managed to ‘Noodle away a run to leg side’ * and got the Snipper back at the business end.

    With 12 off 12 deliveries required it was a tense affair. The vast majority of 2014/15 Quokka matches seem to have been decided in the last over. Great for TV ratings. All we needed was TV coverage. Eliza and her ‘allegedly’ home baked goods would have to suffice…

    With a four and a six dispatched by the Broadie (not-so) wide-boy we now only required one run with seven balls to go.

    I whispered to Snipper that I was equal with Ed on the season’s runs and was keen to vanquish the engineering Hipster in the runs tally.

    Snipper, being a team player promptly dispatched the next delivery for six!

    And not just for six but, with sedition in his eyes, hit the aforementioned six INTO MY VAN!!!

    Such a nice lad with such a nice smile and disposition; Henceforth to be referred to as ‘Keyser Soze’.

    Oh, and we thus-ly won the match. What a great escape in great weather, a great spread and The Rose lads a truly lovely bunch of lads.

    Much merriment ensued, we returned to the Labor in Vain and all was good with the cricketing gods.

    Yours ‘never lost as captain’ Dutchy.

    * Pup, manning the scorebook, generously scored my legside shot as a run off the bat, putting me one run ahead of Ed in the season’s tally, but I must confess it was a leg bye, which makes next week’s return leg against the Ballarat Seymour Lads a showdown of the willow for Gownlows Glory.

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, March 1 – Fairlea West Oval, Yarra Bend

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture:

    While 2015 has been one of the busiest summers of cricket, it hasn’t been the kindest of years to The Quokkas; with only 2 wins from 6 games. Those 2 wins haven’t been against pub league rivals either, 1 was a very tight contest against the VBCA and the other a 1-wicket win against the ASRC. With a re-match against Seymours on Lydiard scheduled in for March 15, this game against the Rose will be the penultimate game for the season & (probably) the last chance for a win; not that winning is what the Quokkas are about.

    Seen here; what it's about

    Seen here; what it’s about

    As it stands, the approach for playing for playings sake has never been better represented than with this game as no less than 14 players have confirmed that they are unavailable. 2 new players have had to be called in, as well as new players Jim and Small Goods, and Cunners – who hasn’t been seen since the 2010/11 season.

    In regards to the opposition, the Quokkas haven’t played The Rose since the infamous match in 2012/13. That squad has subsequently moved to a new pub, The Birmingham, so The Quokkas aren’t really sure of what to expect. They are, apparently, mates of Radars, so they must be good blokes.

    Not always happy, but good

    Not always happy, but good

    In all, it’s a bit of a melange and a sign of a team that has played possibly too much cricket.

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: LWLWLLW

    The Rose: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    Dutchy entered the 2014/15 season slightly behind Ed for career runs scored & a private competition between the two of them for the first to 500 was won by Ed a few weeks ago against the ASRC. Since then, though, the Dutchman has passed 500 and only needs 31 to draw level with Ed. Can the big-hitter go the distance and win the batting award from behind?

    This game also represents the 40th time the Big Dog has strode out for The Quokkas in a YPCA-rules match (doesn’t include VBCA or BDNO games). A great reflection of his commitment to social cricket & a triumph of availability over ability. Well done, the ‘Dog.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    Team News:

    As mentioned, the Quokkas have had to search high and wide to get their XI together, which they have done. It is (at this stage):

    1. Big Dog
    2. Dutchy
    3. Snipper
    4. Ball’en
    5. Rev
    6. Cunners
    7. Nick AW
    8. Jim
    9. J Rod
    10. Pup
    11. Small Goods

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The game is being played at Fairlea West, which is one of the most haunted grounds on earth. Despite it being a mild summer with a lot of rain, the ground at Fairlea West is as hard as cement.

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    It is expected to be a warm day, so The Quokkas will be chasing in the sun.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be the Big Dogs 40th game for the Quokkas, a well-earned record;
    • J Rod is in incredible form with the bat (23, 30* and 25 in his last 3 knocks) & is now only 12 runs off 200 career runs. This will make him the 10th Quokka to hit the milestone (after Ed, Emu, Dutchy, Rowdy, Big Dog, Curto, Radar, Phantom and Pup);
    • Up until the last game, Snipper had only been out once this season, and that was when Radar ran him out in the first match. As a result, his average sits at a lofty 57.

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Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.