• From Captain Snipper….

    One minute we’re walking out on the field, bowl pretty good, get a bit unlucky in the field, go out to bat, don’t hit enough sixes and what feels like 10 seconds later we’ve lost the match.

    Ahhh the BDNO.

    We had some stand out moments – Monty copped it tough being peppered at deep mid wicket but kept his cool and remains a massive legend in my books.  Gaz was kept busy at deep-backward point and saved a bunch of boundaries without putting a foot wrong.  Pup affected an insane run-out off his own bowling flicking a direct hit at the non-strikers end from side-on, some credit for which must go to J-Rod who obligingly departed the field so that I could bring Pup on (thanks J-Rod).

    Rohan kept wicket tremendously and took every chance that came his way.  Jay bowled a tight line getting the most out of the flat track.  Big Dog bowled a really tidy penultimate over and claimed another scalp.  Alex tossed one up and got carted for four, then dared the batsmen to do it again and got the wicket next ball and another one the ball after that.

    Ed’s over was water-tight and also removed someone’s leg stump while Local closed out the death sharply.

    The fact that hardly any runs (maybe 2?) were scored behind square leg was testament to our good line – the stumbling block being the semi-regular drag-downs which disappeared over mid wicket.

    We were kept well in check with the bat and unfortunately just couldn’t find the boundary enough with the exception of Dutchy who made retirement in the usual quick time.  I flat batted one over square leg that missed a small child’s face by a few inches… horrific situation avoided.

    Luckily the only drama that followed was that we pretty easily lost the match.

    Sincere apologies to those who missed out on the chance to contribute with the bat namely Pup, Big Dog, Monty and Local.  Your understanding and sportsmanship was truly appreciated despite some obvious frustration.

    Also big thanks to Kathleen behind the bar and those who put in so much time and effort behind the scenes for the wild and unique event that is the BDNO.

  • From Captain Dutchy….

    Nerrena – build it and they will come.

    And we did (come), Again.

    There’s a serenity/chaos dichotomy in pub league cricket and its fair to say Nerrena has won the Quokkas’ hearts. It’s a field placed upon a majestic location with a view to die for. Any hipster barista in pub-league territory could only dream of the single origin milk/cream produced in these parts and wouldn’t know what to do when confronted with the majestic view from the Nerrena oval, on the crest of a hill overlooking a landscape somehow escaped by the Heidelberg school, who quite frankly couldn’t be farked traveling beyond the old metro zone 1 train ticket reaches.

    Not bad

    Not bad

    The Nerrena game has become folklore amongst the quokka tribe, not just for the challenge, scenery and view but the pre-game fish n chips night-before tradition (entering its second year). The quokka tribe has entered an aggressive recruitment plus breeding program. If anyone needs to understand ‘cute’ please witness Radar and Caitlin dote over the quokkas future No3 batsman and opening bowler!

    A last minute change with our leading strike bowler and trophy promulgate, Big Dog, needing to go home as his father had passed  back in Ireland – brought a sobering reality to proceedings.

    And then onto game day…

    The quokkas went with an aggressive (confused?) turn-up-before-the-opposition-tactic, Albeit only half of us. The inevitable last minute logistical confusion ensued as some had gigs the night before and others were still asking Siri where ‘Near Enya’ was…

    Some context…

    The Nerrena lads have previously spanked the quokkas with their mix of older guile and youth. This year the yoof faces changed but still were impressive (almost to the point I would say the best Nerrena we have faced!).

    But there was a ‘plan’. A ‘chaos plan’.

    The Quokkas bowled first.

    This was to be a theory derived in Dutchy’s deluded mind that cricket doesn’t apply to pub-league. Reactionary field placing was gone, traditional field placing were verboten and Bowlers would be backed rather than reactionary. And so a big thank you to the Nerrena batsmen for making that plan look ok.

    And to say the quokkas bowling stepped up was an understatement, I am not exaggerating to state it was one of the best ever Quokkas bowling performances to date. Ed, Alex, Pete, Jay and Radar swung, moved and bowled tight with Ed, Alex and Radar knocking the stumps down. And then, the secret weapon Rolly was introduced. First ball. Skied to Rev. Catch taken.

    Paramedics were called… mainly for the Quokkas…

    Things were looking good for the Quokkas as the Nerrena lads were mistakenly playing cricket whilst the Quokkas were playing the short game. A statement that may never be repeated re Quokkas bowling is that no single over contained more than one boundary. No, seriously!

    Snipper bowled with one arm and was unfairly bombarded with catches on his injured side. Ed was almost eviscerated by a ‘chance’ at square leg and in total the quokkas dropped approx 6 (sometimes brutal) catches but those numbers don’t tell a true tale.

    Put simply. The Quokkas excelled. Cath (with Piper), under trying circumstances, had made the trip and came on to bowl. The instructions were simple, “bowl as high as and loopy as Darragh does”. Within her first three deliveries she almost had two wickets and honestly could have finished the day with three,

    Whilst the Nerrena lads were swishing, there wasn’t much runs and despite the forced retirements of faces their total got up to 139.

    And now the Quokkas were faced with a conundrum before unseen.

    The usual 25 overs historically has seen us staring down 170-200+ totals. The choke was on!

    But Nerrena had a rather annoying battery of young bowlers who looked like they knew of this mysterious ‘line and length’ white whale some have spoken of, yet rarely harpooned, in pub league.

    After a short break whereupon the quokkas tried to mentally readjust to the possibility of a gettable target, Rev and Radar (R&R) headed out. Now the Rev is a new beast this season and has been spotted on occasion playing ‘shots’. And yet somehow went out despite looking good. Radar is one of my ‘moneyball’ players. flashy bat that likes it coming at him fast and sending it away faster, unfortunately sucked into a stumping but had the scoreboard ticking early…

    Enter Jay. After checking Rev wasn’t at the other end, he yet again played some great scoring shots and kept the runs coming. There’s thirties in his future soon…

    But soon the fireworks and soundtrack pumped across the landscape  as the ‘single origin Local show’ waltzed out and immediately introduced the backward sweep to great effect for a boundary.

    Jay departed after some quick runs to let Alex get involved. As if it wasn’t enough that he was capable of bowling some seriously awesome leg breaks, it would not be over stated to say Alex has been nothing short of amazing with the willow this season.

    I mean, he does cheat; footwork should be discouraged…

    Snipper still managed to bat effectively despite being one sided and Ed and myself ticked over the last few runs to take victory.

    Personal highlights:

    • Watching Peter show his lad (Radar) and grandson he still has it!
    • Watching the confusion on Quokkas faces with field placings that can change between overs!
    • Piper teaching new emojis on the sidelines
    • Our best bowlers being pretty much all of us!

    It was fairly quickly made sober to realise the Big Dog wasn’t here to witness a first, historic win for the “O’Donovan-Gannon’ Trophy.

    A huge thank you to the Nerrena crew for hosting a great day which we are already look forward to next year’s edition.

    Love seeing the new young faces come through the Nerrena team. Big thanks to locals Will and cohorts for filling in whilst the Quokka last few rolled up.

  • From Cap’n Monty:

    What a great Game between the Quokkas and the ANSC!

    The toss was had and won by us (thankfully) and we sent it the All Nations guys for a bat. Luckily for us the we had the ball swinging and seaming and everyone managed to bowl good line and length, a rare treat for the quokkas. I managed to make the first breakthrough with a wayward delivery down leg which caught the back of the bat and was held on to in the deep by pup. The batsmen crossed and I had the other opener caught behind very next ball, on a hatrick!! We bought the field in and had 3 slips, a first for pub cricket, and I was belted back over my head.

    Enter Dutchy: Some brilliant spin bowling and some excellent keeping by Radar had the batsmen stumped as he chased one down the wicket on the last ball of the over. His next delivery yielded the very same result, on another hat-trick!!  Unfortunately no luck on the third ball but the Quokkas were in good nick thats for sure.

    Some excellent batting by the ANSC got them in a solid position toward the end of the innings and left us with a decent but chase-able total to reach to win the game.

    Radar and local opened and got us off to a solid start before Radar was clean bowled by a great delivery. Enter Pup. Pup played some great strokes early in his innings including a very nice cut shot for 6. Local departed soon after. We then lost a string of wickets quickly and were looking wobbly. Pup retired and I took his position. The first bit of bat I’d gotten on anything in 3 games was hit straight in the air and I was gone as soon as I was in.

    It was up to Snipper and Alex to save the game and we were looking good until Snipper departed, sending pup back in to finish the innings. A strong fight between Alex and Pup wasn’t enough to save the day as the ANSC came out on top to take a much deserved win!!

    All in all a great game of cricket.

    ansc

  • From Captain Alex:

    Woke up 11am.

    James said he’d pick me up.

    Got a strong latte.

    James picked me up midday-ish.

    Got another latte.

    On root to Ramsden Street Ed says we got booted.

    Stand by for a new ground.

    Ed sorted out a ground near the Yarra.

    Grass was long and short and the pitch was notably narrow.

    Vote to Ed for sorting out new ground.

    BBQ set up no worries.

    Cones dropped.

    Quokkas fielding first.

    I asked everyone to pitch it right up at the toes.

    To bowl em.

    To avoid short balls which traditionally get hit for runs.

    Opening bowlers didn’t bowl as good as usual.

    Bowled short.

    Got hit for heaps o runs.

    That’s essentially it.

    Ground was Gallipoli-esque and ball was soap.

    Dog didn’t mind.

    Held catches.

    Legend.

    Even Ed stuffed a few up.

    Bowled myself.

    Realised the bowling was hard yakka.

    Narrow pitch was crippling.

    I understood.

    I bowled shit.

    At drinks we were up against it.

    BUT – we had a great attitude going on.

    Big talk in the field.

    Heaps of encouragement.

    Impressive.

    We decided we would try to get through the overs real quick in the second half.

    I reckon that worked well.

    Rohan kept really well.

    Kept rolling the ball back the bowler real quick after each bowl.

    The batsmen were caught off guard.

    Pup bowled like a legend.

    Even after being flattened by a large bloke with no sense of spacial awareness.

    Ed bowled good.

    Local bowled good.

    Dutchy bowled real good.

    Fielding remained a challenge and we let a few through.

    We really kept the run rate down toward the end.

    Pressure was high.

    We walked off at the the end of the innings like a bunch of legends. We supported the hell out of each other while under the pump. It wasn’t an easy day to be captain. But an easy day to be proud of the Quokkas attitude.

    We needed 220ish to win. lol.

    Dutch and Pup opened.

    Dutch got out.

    Dylan came in.

    Dylan blocked it to a fielder.

    Called yes when he was 3 paces from the bowlers end and took a few extra skips past Pup.

    Bowler rolls ball to keeper.

    Keeper knocks bails off.

    Rainbow think it’s all pretty funny.

    Pup surprised to see Rev his end o pitch.

    Rev stands his ground.

    Pup displays an impressive feat of maturity and martyrdom decides to solve the stale mate by leaving the field.

    Top order collapsed.

    Local and Dog looked good but saw red and got unlucky.

    I went in at 6.

    Over 8 maybe?

    We were probably on 60ish.

    I hit excellent cricket shots and retired.

    Then Ed did the same.

    Rolley did a good job of holding up an end.

    I came back in and batted like Brian Lara.

    Then I got out which was shitty because we could have won if I had of kept my head and batted on.

    Ed continued to bat like a hero.

    We lost.

    But only by 20ish.

    Which is incredible.

    As captain I was so impressed with the Quokkas attitude.

    We faced a better team and almost got there.

    We (almost) maintained a positive and supportive attitude all day.

    Then we went to the Rainbow, proud as punch.

    See you in Nerrena for some quality Quokkas cricket. 

  • Man alive I hate the commentary team on Channel 9.

    In terms of undermining what there is to love about cricket – even in this day and age – this is a group of (exclusively) men who never fail to relentlessly suck the joy out of all that I still think I hold dear.

    This is mostly because
    A) Michael Slater
    B) Michael Vaughan

    And

    C-Z) Warnie

    Seriously. Fuck Warnie.

    On a Sunday, at some distance past, the Quokkas ( o noble brethren ) played the Dan O’Connell Hotel ( the hated ).

    Leaving aside the fact of 11 Quokkas taking on roughly 267 Dans, this was an even contest played in some kind of spirit.

    The Quokkas fielded first, and with impeccability. Skill, enthusiasm and a willingness to continue being positive in the face of the Dan racking up sixes as if they were available team members.

    In terms of cohesiveness, this was a performance in the field that I feel privileged to have witnessed and been a part of. Thank you Quokkas.

    Ed bowled people out, Jay and Snip got just desserts, catches held and Dutchy took two in two (and then didn’t get another bowl. Why should he, I say…).

    Also, Gaz got a few laughs out of Roleys debilitating back injury

    Also, Gaz got a few laughs out of Roleys debilitating back injury

    The Quokkas were left chasing a total that would have been respectable at the 1987 World Cup and we tried hard.

    The thing about hope is that it is invariably crushed beneath the inexorable advance of reality. And so it was with the Quokkas  chase.

    Credit must go to Snipper and Dutchy for their efforts, particularly Dutch. He scored an absurd amount of runs. Closer to 100 than 30.

    (Which is, coincidentally, the same number of fielders made available by their opponents.)

    The Dan won, in the end. And comfortably.

    But ask yourself – did they really WIN?

  • ** At this very moment a student is in my office calling me a ‘loser’ and ‘wack’. Standard Friday.

    I have not captained a sporting side since De La Salle played St James in a C grade game of football. That was back in 1998, we won by 10 goals and I did not get a kick. As you may have noticed I’m a man of few words. So I will make this short.

    Gasometer vs. Pinnacle

    Highlights

    • Fielding – unbelievable performance
    • Field placing – I did absolutely nothing but Jay’s fly slip idea paid off immediately
    • Keg and Sound System – Shadow Electric vibes and bourbon soundtrack
    • Batting – Tuesday, Alex, Dutchy and Local all contributed with big scores
    • Kids watching the game – “That’s not real cricket Dad!”
    • Bowling – Alex and Snipper dominated with the ball

     

    Lowlights

    • Jay’s diamond duck – No explanation needed

     

    An excellent all round performance. Thanks everyone for the support!

    Radar Radars

    Radar Radars

     

    Local Locals

    Local Locals

  • Battling a 140km+ howling gale QCC strode on to the Fairfield ground for this the first pub league match of summer ’17/18.

    Old foes the Terminus Hotel rocked up a few minutes before the scheduled start time, set up a barbie, grabbed a beer and reclined to watch the show.

    Meanwhile, the powerful Quokka attack is put through its “paces.” So many choices, so many great (or formerly thought to show promise of greatness) bowlers. After I assured almost everyone at the club that they might open the bowling, in the end, there was only really one clear option – the stocky Kiwi Swing Machine, Chef in tandem with the pinpoint accuracy of James “Frothy” Gow.

    Not the start we were after; The first 4 overs going for 6/15/10/12.

    To the bowlers’ credit, good balls were being dispatched left right and center from what was the Termo’s designated batter/s. Chef supported his opening counterpart by dropping two difficult catches in quick succession in “Frothy’s” second over, all adding up to a what could only be described as an a-typical QCC shit show.

    Radar and Monty into the attack, the retirement of the designated batters, and a general lift in the field saw QCC slow the bleeding before the break.

    A sustained attacked of quality medium pace from Rev, Snipper, and Jay (Me) held the home side to 1/90 off the opening 12 overs. Rev snaring the only wicket of the opening session through a confidence building catch from the little Kiwi legend – Chef.

    After the break Ed, Dutchy, Pup, Roley (on debut), Gaz all contributing to what has to be said was some very tight second session bowling.

    Some excellent wickets coming from Dutchy, Ed, and Roley at critical moments. The Quokkas applied some solid pressure (resulting in 2 run outs) and pulled up the Termo to an innings ending 7/170.

    Lunch was just fantastic.

    Snags and Chicken, few dogs around. Some reggae (some 10CC).

    QCC feeling quietly confident.

    Snipper and Ed were sent out to the crease to open the Quokka account. Snipper went to town, scoring 32 off 15 balls. Ed, playing a masterful opening slot with 33 off 25 balls. Monty and Gaz both doing a great Job at 3 and 4, before both being run out (Sorry Monty). Jay (me) smashing 36 off 20, and Rev coming in to hit 29 not out off 25 balls saw QCC take what felt like an inevitable victory at Fairfield, which to be fair, is a field.

    Great keeping all day from Dutchy and Radar!

    Impressive bowling and sweet times from the new teammates Roley, Gaz & Monty (formerly Burner).

    Perfect start to the pub season.

    Strong boys. Very Strong.

  • The Quokkas win, Rev plays a switch hit (and pulls it off) and The Dog bowls the 25th over, all pretty standard for one of our games…..

    With the outfield and the tourists still sozzled from the previous night (one got barred from the Gaso) we had them on the ropes at 6/85 with all the debutantes (Gazza, Robby & Stewart) getting a wicket on debut to go with Jay rattling the castle and the now normal 2 wickets in an over from the reigning B&F who now adds club all-time leading wicket taker to his life achievements.

    After drinks, the tourists ring-ins Rev (21), Roley (Rev minus 21)  and the league president Fos (58 off 20) got them to a good score of 9/177 with the Dog, Jay and Radar grabbing more wickets. Jay 2/19 and Dog 3/24 sharing most of the spoils. Special note to Pup who took 0/1 in his 23 ball two overs.

    After another amazing potato salad and spread from the Dog (is there anything he can’t do?), Radar and Alex got us off to a solid start with 30* for Rohan and a Curtoesque 17* (16 singles) for Alex. The runs continued with Stewart 23*, Dutchy 36* from 14, Robby 27 and 23* from Gazza in the best quokkas innings ever played in a gray cardigan, plus he let the captain hit the winning runs.

    Quokkas 4/178 win with 11 balls to spare.

    Bring on the Terminus

  • The reeling rhythms of a Riverdance céilí pulsated over the turf of the Alfred Crescent oval to set a cheerful tempo for the inaugural mixed pub league game between The Old Bar and the Quokkas. Even before a ball was bowled, there was a victory for diversity in pub league cricket with 6 females participating for the Quokkas and 7 for the Old Bar.

    Though it was offensively hot, the Quokkas innings was even-tempered with a credible opening partnership between Vibs and Ren. Vibs powered her way to 25 before retiring and Ren played a smart innings, displaying varied stroke-play for her highest Quokkas score of 17.

    Karly was unlucky to get stumped and Cat also went cheaply getting herself run out backing up (in order to give others a go). Eliza cracked 8 singles – also a career best score.

    Next in was the resilient Fiona who, despite being virtually blind after an operation on both eyes two days earlier, defied medical advice in order to play her first match in a decade or so.

    Our opposition fielded many female first timers, many just learning the art of bowling. Dutchy poked a few singles with the near sightless Fiona, heroically holding up an end until lunch.

    At the break the Quokkas totalled 4-95 off 20, and both teams were treated to “a delicious range of food with amazing salad” – Big Dog. Jigs and folk tunes continued to throb out of the adjacent Irish Festival and in the much less Irish heat the beer esky needed replenishing to keep up with the collective thirst of the players.

    It took a bit of motivation to get going again but then the Old Bar innings was hectic. Vibs opened the bowling and swung the new ball more than a taped tennis ball, and then had to be removed from the attack because she was unplayable.

    There was a moment of romance when Rev celebrated with Ren after taking a fine catch off her bowling. This caused some distress to Vibs, who needed reassurance that pashing was not a team custom.

    Another highlight was Rens spectacular overhead running catch, or more accurately, a footy-style mark to the chest –slightly more painful with a cricket ball but effective nonetheless.

    There was a respectful pause in play to mark the occasion of the naked cyclists’ procession through Edinburgh gardens, after which early drinks were called with the Old Bar on just 18. The Old Bar opted to let their female players bat twice allowing for an unequivocal victory for mixed cricket.

  • From Captain J Rod…

    On a warm summer Sunday, the Quokkas arrived at the VBCA ground with high hopes of redeeming ourselves from last years crushing defeat. With most of the state representatives on tour, we were expecting a more dominant performance over the opposition. With Rev braving the air-conditioned commentary box, the rest of the Quokkas walked slowly out to the pitch.

    The VBCA got off to a great start, with a number of overthrows conceded, while the Quokkas got used to the bounce, or lack of, on the ball. With adjusted rules where wides and no balls are two runs, the VBCA were going along at a decent run-rate. Wickets were hard to come by until Eliza came on and had an instant impact taking a peg.

    We kept rolling through the overs, and with  the last ball of the innings J Rod had his first wicket of the season with a questionable umpiring call. But we’ll take it.

    We came off for a cool drink with a short turnout for out batting innings.

    With the VBCA short of fielders, Rev came out the air conditioned commentary box to help them out. With Snipper and Eliza facing the first 4 overs, we got off to a slow start. Snipper completely blind not being able to get bat on ball until…

    …wait for it…

    …a sweep shot to short leg where Rev took one of the best catches ever seen from a Quokka.

    That might not be saying much, but it was a catch Boonie would be proud of.


    Please take in what you have just read about Rev’s catch. With his modesty it may be the last time it is ever mentioned.

    Back to the game. After the first 4 overs, we were in negative territory and it only got slightly better from there. One of the highlights with the batting was a comment one of the VBCA made about Cat’s tapping of the bat. He said it sounded like a proper cricketer.

    As we rolled slowly through the final overs, Rev and Ren had a duel which could only end badly for Rev. We finished the innings with some big hitting from Dutchy with a little help from JRod, but it was all too little too late.

    The Quokkas could only manage 63. VBCA won 34 runs.

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Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.