• ** At this very moment a student is in my office calling me a ‘loser’ and ‘wack’. Standard Friday.

    I have not captained a sporting side since De La Salle played St James in a C grade game of football. That was back in 1998, we won by 10 goals and I did not get a kick. As you may have noticed I’m a man of few words. So I will make this short.

    Gasometer vs. Pinnacle


    • Fielding – unbelievable performance
    • Field placing – I did absolutely nothing but Jay’s fly slip idea paid off immediately
    • Keg and Sound System – Shadow Electric vibes and bourbon soundtrack
    • Batting – Tuesday, Alex, Dutchy and Local all contributed with big scores
    • Kids watching the game – “That’s not real cricket Dad!”
    • Bowling – Alex and Snipper dominated with the ball



    • Jay’s diamond duck – No explanation needed


    An excellent all round performance. Thanks everyone for the support!

    Radar Radars

    Radar Radars


    Local Locals

    Local Locals

  • Match Facts:

    Alphington Park, Vere Street




    1pm Start


    The Big Picture:

    After winning the first two games of the season, the Quokkas have reverted to form and lost the last two on the bounce. That being said, the first lost was only by 6 runs and the second was a close contest against The Dan O’Connell and one of the best all-round efforts that The Quokkas have ever put together in the YPCA.


    Well done lads.


    If they are able to take this form into Sundays game against The Pinnacle, they are a good chance to finish 2017 with a win.


    The Pinnacle is a team we have had mixed results against, but also one that has provided many classical YPCA moments; not least when their Captain got so drunk that he passed out, leading to one of the most disjointed post match speeches of all time when he was roused from uner the pile of kit that had been piled on him.


    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: WWLL


    In the Spotlight:

    He’s been in the spotlight more than Kermit the Frog, though Dutchy does wave his arms in the air a helluva a lot less than the little green frog.


    The man in the hot-pink lycra is in equally hot form this season, taking catches behind the stumps, taking wickets when he comes on to bowl and – oh yeah – he hit 72 off 35 balls in the last game.


    Dutchy has already passed 100 runs for the season (112) from 3 innings (2 not out), facing 53 balls and hitting 11 of them for 6 (20%)!


    James “VP” Gow comes in for his record third game for the season and this will also be his first as Captain.


    Team News:

    Once again, the week starts with The Quokka bus is bursting at the sides, though it remains to be seen if it will be its normal semi-vacant self by Sunday.


    The squad for the game (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Pup
    2. VP (c)
    3. Tuesday
    4. Alex
    5. Radar
    6. Local
    7. Snipper
    8. Big Dog
    9. Jay
    10. Ed
    11. Stewart
    12. Dutchy
    13. Monty
    14. Rev


    Pitch and Conditions:

    Alphington Park is one of the prettier grounds in the YPCA, with a lovely white grandstand at the northern end and feint traces of asbestos floating past from the construction site over the road.


    This is also the park where Tuesday, a welcome inclusion back in the squad, once hit a ball for 8.


    After sweltering through the hottest November in Melbourne since the Big Bang, the local weather has forced Crowded House to change the name of its song from ‘4 seasons in one day’ to ‘4 seasons in one season’ as a result of the ridiculous volume of rain and cold.


    Hopefully things dry up a bit ahead of Sunday.


    Stats and Trivia:

    • Without banging on about him too much, Dutchy is on a hat-trick. Nearly impossible in the Pub League but he has managed it. He may need to bribe VP with a few Moon Dogs to get a go at some of the Pinnacles lesser-batters (if they exist)
    • The Dutchman is also now on 907 career YPCA runs for the Quokkas, the record and the thousand mark may well be beat this season. This will also be his 50th YPCA match for the Quokkas
    • Not to say he’s half the man, but this will be Jays 25th appearance for the Quokkas
    • The Gow brothers are 3rd for matches played by brothers in the same team for the Quokkas (4), behind the Curtins (13) and the Nichols (8), but are closing the gap and are wellnahead of the Hentys (1)
    • Alex and the Big Dog are close to new records, with 489 and 198 career runs respectively
    • This will be Radars 30th YPCA match for the Quokkas
    • There is a laneway in Dandenong named “Lois Lane” – I kid you not.






  • The Quokkas were greeted by blustery conditions and a narrow pitch at the Fairlea West oval on Sunday.

    Despite Ed’s assurances that going on averages we had 5 guaranteed wickets, we struggled to make an impact early on. The bowlers toiled hard for little reward but kept it tight, and we went to drinks at 0/77.

    Radar broke the drought first over back and from then on the wickets fell consistently, but the runs flowed as well. The wickets were spread evenly with The Chef, Dutchy, Emu and Jim on debut all chipping in. The catches were not so even, Local and Jim were ball magnets with two each and Radar took a sharp chance behind the stumps.  It was good to see Emu focus his “disappointment” at the Pinnacle having two men at square leg while he attempted a catch into a fiery final over of the innings that claimed a wicket and only cost 2 runs. The square leg umpire was also often padded up and holding a bat, but then for some reason didn’t come in next when a wicket fell.

    The Pinnacle ended up with four retirees and 173 runs.

    After early hiccups the run chase was brought back on track by Chef and Local. By the time they walked hand in hand from the field after retiring in the same over, the platform was set. Shane and Jim were batting well, but the bowling was tight and the field was spread so the required run rate got up to 10/over for the last 5. Shane was run out and Canty stumped chasing quick runs. Jim picked up the scoring and ended up with 33 from 22.  The tail went cheaply looking for boundaries and it was left to Big dog and Dutchy to bring us home. The Doggy sensibly got his arse up the other end so Dutch was the man. 10 to win off 3, nice time to hit the first 6 of the innings!

    Then it was deja vu all over again. Just like last week, bat and ball did not meet for the final two deliveries and we came up 4 short.

    Great effort all round boys.  Jim’s only mistake was setting the bar too high. Was great to see Chris Canty and Bowlin’ Shane back out there for the Quokkas too.

    See you all next time,


  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, January 18 – Fairlea West Oval, Fairfield

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture:

    Despite being hidden in the recesses of Yarra Bend Park, this match may well prove to be a gauge of how the rest of The Quokkas 2014/15 season will pan out. After going into 2015 with a 4-1 record, The Quokkas dropped their first game of 2015 (against The Prince Patrick) despite being in a winnable position for most of it.

    The Pinnacle are always a good opposition and provided the men in the saggy maroons their only Pub League win of the 2013/14 season.  That being said, much of that victory was down to the Pinnacles disposition to drink their way through games, rather than just play cricket.

    With a litany of unavailable players, this game is anything but a sure win for The Quokkas.

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: LWLWWW

    The Pinnacle: n/a

    In the Spotlight:

    Emu has been out of the side for a few games now after starting the season in spectacular fashion before moving onto his REAL cricket side, where he has been taking 8-fers.

    The Big Dog has flown under the radar this season, but may well be in all-round career best form.  Averaging 19 with the ball, having taken 6 wickets at 1.8 overs per wicket, he has become a semi-regular opening bowler and very-regular wicket taker. His 67 runs at 22 have also been welcome, particularly at the previously unimaginable strike-rate of 0.92.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    Team News:

    As per usual, the week started with more than enough players available for this game, though the availability dropped to -2 by Wednesday. Thankfully we have been able to rope in previous “Ringer” Chris Canty and Radars mate Jim, who will be the 57th player to line up for The Quokkas.

    Aside from these two, there is a smattering of regulars (Ed, Big Dog, Local, Dutchy, Radar, Chef and Robbo) available, the Big Emu is returning after the end of the school holidays & we see the return of “Ball’en” Shane who has not been sighted since pushing balls hit off The Rev over the boundary for 4 in Ballarat.

    Quokkas XI (probable):

    1. Chef
    2. Ed
    3. Ball’en
    4. “Jim”
    5. Chris Canty
    6. Radar
    7. Big Dog
    8. Dutchy
    9. Emu
    10. Robbo (c)
    11. Local

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Fairlea West is normally a Pub League cricketers nightmare, with a dry-as-a-bone outfield that seems to rip skin off ones leg just by walking near it, let alone diving on it. With some steady rainfall over the last fortnight though, conditions should be softer for the fieldsmen.

    This is the oval that was notable for 2 main events last season; one being Dutchy’s return throw which ended up in Uluru, and the other being Shotguns 31* – giving him 35 career runs (the only other runs being a 4 edged through slips).


    That’s right, this man hit a 31*. God bless Pub Cricket.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Tuesday has as many career catches as Ed (7) in 26 less games (31 to 5);
    • Robbo has now scored 150 career runs from 17 innings, including 2 not out, giving a tidy average of 10 with 16 fours and 2 sixes;
    • The batting award for this season is sure to go down to the wire, with Ed (100 runs), Snipper (99) & Duchy (92) all making the charge, while Radar (83) and Local (79) are only a good innings away;
    • The bowling award is also looking as tight as the proverbial, with Chef and Ed tied (8 wickets), the Big Dog making a late charge (6) and a couple of serious contenders not far behind (Emu and Local, both 5)
  • First of all I must apologise for the tardiness of my report, however I must confess that I was of the opinion that the Captain for the day normally was responsible for the report (although I do further confess that the skipper did ask me to write the report that afternoon after the match).


    Anyway if you can cast your minds back to the Melbourne Cup weekend and in particular, Sunday the 4 November, Melbourne was blessed with some delightful spring weather and the Quokkas were required to take on The Pinnacle (or the Black Caps as they referred to themselves) at the historic, but very sandy (more bunkers than the Old Course at The National) Brunswick Street Oval (aka the home of PL Cricket).


    As is the custom of PL Cricket, the Quokkas who were hosting the event were first to bat in ideal conditions.  The Father and Son combination of Big Dog and Pup got the Quokka’s off to a delightful start with both of them going along nicely in the first few overs.  Unfortunately for Pup, who was going along at better than a run a ball (senior partner), he skied one and was caught at mid off.  With the Quokkas 2011/2012 B&F winner and PL Cricketing Leviathan, Emu not available due to International duties off the field, a replacement number 3 was needed.  Unfortunately just like the current Australian number 3 the scorers weren’t troubled too much and much to my son’s (and competitive brothers) disappointment following our long drive from Sorrento to Fitzroy that morning, I was back in the pavilion (at least Sam would be able to give me technique lessons on our way back to Sorrento that night).  Luckily though I made way for Jimmy “Grenades” Northe in his debut for the Mighty Quokka, who in partnership with the Big Dog rattled our scoring along (Big Dog 31 (32) and Grenades 28 (21)).  Once this pair fell however some tight bowling from the Black Caps saw us lose some cheap wickets with Radar 10 (11), Alex 1 (2) and Big Matt Tanner 5 (6) not able to form any partnerships.  That was until Cuppsie 21 (13) and Curto 30 (36) steadied the ship and Rowdy coming in late to whack 12 (8), Sam Curtain (another Grigg decedent saddling up for the Labour in Vain – The Horse has a lot to answer for) fell for his first career duck before Curto (our only retiring batsman) came back at the end to miss a straight one.


    The Pinnacle, it must be said bowled (they had no less than 6 guys purporting to be “Spinners”) with a general lack of pace, but excruciatingly straight meaning our batsmen had to hit the ball in most instances rather than rely on our normal approach of “healthy edges”.  That combined with their good fielding and catching (I must say Alex was a bit stiff) meant our innings was never really free flowing.


    Nevertheless the runs were on the board, even if it was a slightly under par 160 (even on the sandy surrounds of Royal Brunswick St).  The assignment would require the lethal Quokka bowling attack to fire and all of the guile of our skipper to get us over the line.  Despite his well compiled (picket fence) and at times opposition frustrating innings for the Quokkas (yes words were exchanged again in the heat of battle), the day did not start off well for our skipper, who had forgotten the bread for the BBQ and needed to order in pizza at his own expense to feed the hungry cricketers.  As such feeling the stress of the catering and the mental exhaustion of his innings steadying role with the bat, the first thing the skipper did was hand the keeping gloves to young Sam and recruit “Shoeless” English Rob (aka The Phantom) who had come down to watch to take to the field.  Curto could then park himself under a shady tree with a warm beer and cold piece of margarita and bark instructions and advice from under a shady tree outside of the playing arena cauldron.  This move provided automatic dividends with The Phantom opening the bowling and shaping one away in his second over, which found the edge and Sam did the rest low down and two his right.  The Phantom’s great bowling display set the tone for the Quokkas bowlers, apart from Curto (super sub at drinks) and myself bowling short tripe and keeping the Black Caps in it, sending down beautiful line and length bowling (who would’ve thought that would work!!).  As such the Pinnacle were never really in the hunt and continually loss wickets throughout their innings, Radar finishing them off in the penultimate over.  All in all it was a powerful bowling and fielding display routing the Pinnacle for 135 (5 of their batsmen being clean bowled – we will need to defer to Rev as to whether that was a Quokka Record).


    Pick of the bowlers were Radar 2/11 off 2.3 overs, Rowdy 2/12 off 3 overs, Cuppsie 2/14 off 3 overs and Pup a tight 0/5 off 2 overs.


Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.