• From Captain Local…

    When I was 17 years old I caught a coach service from Melbourne to Townsville. Somewhere in the never-ending blackness of the third night I had a dream that I was a ghost and that the bus I was on was somehow a tiny fragment of rock which was all that remained of Alderaan; and together we were spinning through the void in a kind of endlessly repeating scream of horror in the second after the Deathstar had blown the entire planet to smithereens.

    Sometimes I remember that dream when Rev bowls an over.

    Thankfully, on a dull day of restless wind and heat-mad flies at Fairfield Oval against the Curtain Hotel, Rev produced the finest spell I have yet seen him bowl, sending down two near-perfect overs of line and length thunderbolts that were – for me – the highlight of the Quokkas fielding effort.

    Yes, the highlight.

    The Curtain, or ‘Beefies’ as they are known (possibly humorously) enjoyed the goodwill of the Quokkas field and set us a target of 190 or something similarly absurd.

    Like Ernest Shackleton rowing – in desperation or madness or both – across the endless bitterness of the Southern Ocean, we began our chase with a determination to achieve against the odds.

    J-Rod opened reluctantly, and yet repaid the faith – or bullying – of his captain by smashing the ball to various points on and over the boundary, often with a casual insouciance that was as surprised as the rest of us to be used in a description of his batting.

    With this laissez-faire flair from the opener came a renewed sense of ambition in the hearts of the Quokkas. Perhaps. Or it may have just been the captain who felt it. Who knows, it may have simply been the lunchtime sausages.Whatever the case, the ambition was for a victory that seemed unlikely an hour earlier when the Quokkas had just dropped their 67th catch of the afternoon.

    However.

    The death of ambition is a quiet cut that lays bare your hollow bones. It comes inevitably on a slow, grey afternoon amid the heat and tiny flies.

    Chef batted with courage and power, and without thought, which is when he bats best. Dutchy scored some inevitable runs. Rev attempted a last-wicket something, and attempted it well.

    Alas. Like the doomed people with no weapons on the peaceful planet that has just come into range of the most powerful weapon the Galaxy has ever known, the Quokkas were never going to end up as anything more than space dust.

    “Fire when ready”

    Congratulations to the Curtain, they played well, and thanks to Big Dog for making the Captains speech in my late absence. I am now 4 from 4 and can only accept that the blame must squarely fall on the playing group’s refusal to adhere to my instructions regarding the Nu-Metal theme. Next time gentlemen, next time.

  • Match Facts:

    December 4, 2016

    Fairfield Cricket Ground

     

    Time:

    1pm

     

    The Big Picture:

    This is the tenthy-second time that the Quokkas have taken on the “Beefys”, or very close to that figure indeed. This preview has gone over historic matches between the two clubs in the past, so I wont revisit that.

     

    The main point is that this game oft-represents all that is good in pub cricket, and all that can be good in this world again.

     

    The Beefies, with or without the Ford Laser, are a great group of lads and the Quokkas always look forward to getting to know the Beef Curtins a bit better, particularly after they are nice and moist after a day in the field.

     

    Form Guide:

    After winning their first game of the season in a thriller, The Quokkas have lost the last two in relatively convincing fashion.

     

    The last loss was against a combined Nerrena squad that featured a young blonde all-rounder about whom Dutchy astutely observed; “he looks like a female Russian tennis player”. Unfortunately for the Quokkas, he grunted as well as he bowled, batted and fielded and was a big part of the difference between the teams.

    Nice shape

    Nice shape too

     

    As good as the Quokkas fielding performance at Nerrena was, the Quokkas still managed to put down a number of catches, something that helps you win…something. Apparently.

     

    In the Spotlight:

    James Gow is a welcome addition to the team after a 12 month absence spent finding inner peace in a dilapidated RnB club in downtown Kilmore. James brings much needed disciplined bowling to the Quokkas, with a career RPO average of 5.67 and a bowling average of 17. For those that are interested, this is much lower than his brothers average of 21.17.

     

    Local gets the Captains Jacket this week (it turns out the Big Dog has been holding on to it for reasons unknown), which is kind-of like giving Donald Trump control of the Worlds largest economy. Very similar in fact.

     

    Local is coming off a great game with the ball (3 overs, 1 for 17) and bat (17 off 7), his batting innings in Nerrena including some of the more outrageous shots ever seen in South Gippsland. It was similar to Captain Kirk exposing the white-skinned people to the Enterprise at the start of “Star Trek: Into Darkness”.

    The Nibirans, responding to the SAULSCOOP

    The Nibirans, responding to the SAULSCOOP

     

    Team News:

    With the greatest recording studio in Melbourne, 400 Acres, having its Christmas party this Sunday, the Quokkas are suddenly short of many of its famously stable 2016/17 squad.

     

    Thankfully, we know others who can actually play and are available.

     

    The XI, at the time of writing, is:

    1. Rev
    2. Bowl’en
    3. Chef
    4. Dutchy (w/k)
    5. J Rod
    6. Big Dog
    7. Tuesday
    8. Jay
    9. Local (c)
    10. James Gow
    11. Nickname AW

     

    Pitch and Conditions

    Formerly a regular ground for the Quokkas, Fairfield Oval has now become the forgotten school friend that you bump into irregularly and promise to catch up with, but never do.

     

    The ground has become a smooth, green carpet since the drainage has been fixed, unless the soccer team has been on it first – in which case it is a cabbage patch.

     

    Its expected to hit a top of 32 degrees on Sunday, which should be great fun to field in first. There is supposed to be a late shower in the day, which may help the team bowling second, which just happens to not be the Quokkas.

     

     

    Stats & Trivia:

    After updating the database at Quokkas HQ to include mixed games, some of the appearances data has changed, so apologies for any confusion here:

    • This match will be Chefs 20th appearance for the Quokkas, the broad-chested legend took out the bowling award in his first season and has 16 YPCA wickets at 15 to prove his (Kiwi) chops. Throw in his 220 runs at 24 and you get to understand the value he brings to the team, without even mentioning the Pinot Gris
    • On the subject of Bowling-award winners, Jay is has sent down 6 overs in the YPCA this season at a cost of 33 runs (5.5 RPO) without luck. He has taken 9 wickets for 151 runs in his career so perhaps he should let the Dog out and go a bit more vertical?
    • With Ed out, Dutchy has the opportunity to extend his lead for all-time runs over Ed, which currently stands at 1. Should he do so, it will probably be via going big, Dutchy scores 60% of his runs from boundaries (40% fours, 20% sixes) as opposed to Eds 48% (33% fours, 15% sixes)
    • Bowl’en was a little hard on himself on hitting 7 last weekend, but it was consistent. His career average in the YPCA is 6.44. The long-limbed, guitar-picken man is a real nurdler, challenging the Rev for runs scored off boundaries (21% v 23%). Neither has hit a six.

     

  • From Captain Jay…

    It was with high hopes that the Q.C.C arrived at Alphington Park last Sunday for the final Yarra Pub League match of season 2015/16.
     
    This Captain’s quick pre game assessment of team morale was a solid 7/10. A definitive seasonal high.  Q.C.C members were spotted stretching, walking fast, tossing balls, inspecting the pitch, in the nets and at the ground early.
    This was, of course a big day for the hungry Quokkas. Coming off the back of the 2nd win of the season against the Rainbow Hotel, Q.C.C was in the hunt for a double and the Terminus could be just the blokes to satiate the Quokkas appetite. 
    A quick conversation with the Terminus revealed a squad with a total of just 19 hours sleep between the first 11 with an average of 11 stubbies consumed the night before.
    While morale was high, there were significant doubts that two in a row was possible. Last week Mike McDermott, a resident of Oxford in the UK won the lottery for the 2nd time in a year with the exact same numbers. According to the Daily Mail, the odds of the same six lottery numbers coming up at random again are 5,400,000,000,000 to one, or 2,330,636 squared. The Rev assured this captain that the Quokkas odds of winning the two in a row were in the same region of probability.
    It was with this weight and responsibility that two of the clubs elder statesman strode to the middle to face an impatient (keen to get back to bed) Terminus attack.
    Big Dog and Dutchy put on a solid opening stand with Dutchy retiring on 40 odd and Big Dog hitting out for 11. A fine opening partnership. Seeing off the new ball and setting up the middle order to pile on the runs.
    Snipper, back for his first match in a while went for 13 of 15 balls.
    Then came the middle order.. and what a middle order. Alex leading the way and pushing forward the run rate right up where she needed to be. Alex (ret 34), Curto (ret 30), Tuesday (30), Jay (25 n/o) and J Rod (8) piling on 127 runs in 70 odd balls. (all batters with S/Rate of over 1.6)
    The ever generous Nick AW and Local bowing out for 1 and 1 respectively.
    Ed, inspired by thrilling middle order batting and in at number 11, put on 19 runs off 9 balls (S/Rate 2.11)
    Quokkas finally had a total that leg side bowling and dropped catches could (maybe) defend..  7/229
    Earlier in the day the cones were strategically placed real deep to protect our leg side. Which for the most part (save Ed and Revs final overs) worked to our advantage.
    Tuesday and J Rod opened up the bowling from the Heidelberg Rd end. Tuesday, overlooked as an opening bowler for most of the season relished the opportunity with the new ball. 2 overs 1/7.
    Tuesday’s solid line and length set a difficult precedent for the remaining 10 bowlers to follow. 
     
    J Rod, under an injury cloud, worked away and kept the pressure on –  2 overs 0/6. The first 4 overs going for 1/13 runs (a run rate of 3.25). This was proper cricket.
    The Quokkas of old started creeping back in at around the 5 over mark. Dutchy cowering under a skied top edge at an expertly placed gully. Nick and Curto colliding under a catch at fine leg.
    Tuesday and Snipper dropping deep field catches. Almost unheard of..
     
    The fix was in? 
     
    Dutchy, Nick AW,  Ed and Rev bowling really tight (first) spells. Terminus, down a few wickets decided to finally install some batsman at the crease and they quickly lifted the run rate before drinks (12 over mark) 
     
    3/60 at the break. Not bad. It was only uphill from here..
     
    It was time to turn the screws. Jay and Snipper put on a pace attack after the break. Jay being hit for 6 off the first ball back from drinks.
     
    Was this the beginning of the end?
    What had the Terminus been drinking?
    Had the Terminus’s hang over subsided? 
     
    Jay and Snipper straightened up the attack with 4 overs of solid line and length, a few dots balls even. It was time to bring on the newly reformed (Aria Award Winner) Alex Gow. Recently turning to leg spin. Sighting the obvious advantage of having less of a chance of being charged for manslaughter than when he bowls short pitched/headhunting pace. 
    Alex’s first leg spin wicket has been compared to Warnie’s first Test ball on English soil.
    Bowling the batsman round the legs, from outside leg to take out the top of off. The umpire was confused. A few dropped catches later, and a staggering total of 76 runs coming off just 5 overs courtesy of – Curto (1/18), Big Dog (0/21), Rev (1/39) and Ed (2/23).
    A nervous captain retired to the deep outfield (in the shade) counting down the overs. “You can only put the cones out so far” – his internal mantra.
    Terminus 9/177!  Quokkas win 2nd match in a row. 
     
    Special mentions: 
    Dutchy – 2 short of a 50. Solid batting.
    Rev – 4 dropped catches / 1 taken (off his own bowling)
    J Rod – Dropping a catch off his own bowling and dropping his guts at the same time (causing fits of laughter from the batsman)
    Curto – Good match back, solid form with the bat and the gloves, good luck with the twins!
    Nick AW – Great bowling, great fielding, good bloke. Endearing comments at every change of end.
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, February 14

    Ramsden Street Oval, Clifton Hill

     

    Time:

    1pm

     

    The Big Picture:

    This will be the Quokkas first Pub League game for 2016, discounting the Big Day Not Out, and one that they hope will start better than 2015 ended (1 win from 4 Pub League games).

     

    This is the first time the Quokkas have played this incarnation of the Rainbow Hotel, the last time was c.2010 before the last incarnation went on to being Sentido fUnf (then the Fitzroy Beer Garden, then The Marquis of Lorne).

     

    Here’s hoping the new mob are as uncompetitive at cricket as the old mob were good at moving pubs / bars / wine bars.

     

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas have only won the one game this season, against the Old Bar, which was highly reliant on the big hitting of Chef (44 off 14) and J Rod (41 off 24).

     

    Of course neither is available for this game, which leaves more of a crater than a hole in the run-scoring department.

    Crater

    Artists impression of the Quokkas run scoring capability

     

    That being said, the Quokkas did bowl and field in their last showing (at the BDNO), bowling out the Standard in 10 overs. Shame they couldn’t chase the runs.

     

    In the Spotlight:

    Tuesday is in sparkling form this season, averaging 86 with the bat in the Pub League, as well as scoring a handy 59 against the Vic Deaf team before I ran him out. You’re welcome.

     

    Jay and Local can expect a good go with the new ball on Sunday, combining for 7 wickets for 144 runs. This might not sound world beating, but you have to remember that many of their deliveries are just too good for the batsmen to hit.

     

    Team News:

    Snipper was an early withdrawal from this game due to a bad case of ‘somethingbettertodo’.

     

    Thankfully Alex’s brother John has slipped straight in, bringing some handy seam bowling as well as a touch of the Steve Henty’s. That is, better looking than his brother and more loved by his parents.

     

    The XI at the time of writing and in no particular order is:

    1. Ed (c)
    2. Dutchy
    3. Local
    4. Alex
    5. John Gow
    6. Radar
    7. Rev
    8. Nick AW
    9. Tuesday
    10. Jay
    11. Bowl’en

     

    Pitch and Conditions:

    This is the Quokkas first venture back to Ramsden Street Oval since the first game of this season, a narrow loss to BDNO winners The Royal Oak.

     

    A ground with potentially long boundaries, depending on where you lay the witches hats, as well as the calming sounds of cars rushing along the Eastern Freeway.

     

    The new practice nets at the ground, described by some as the best in the Southern Hemisphere, provide tricky complications in regards to making excuses not to warm up. Well, for those inexperienced at making excuses anyway.

     

    The ground is also the site of where one of my deliveries was once hit into a light tower, which was a little like that scene in ‘The Natural’, but without Robert Redford or baseball.

     

    Stats and Trivia:

    • You should know by now that I’m making up 67% of these and sometimes 81%, or 23%
    • Dutchy has now hit 22 career YPCA 6’s, the equal most of all time (with Rowdy), this game offers his opportunity to take the lead
    • This will be Radars 25th YPCA game for the Quokkas, the inked-up all-rounder (bats, bowls, keeps) has scored 284 runs at 14.95 (top score of 37) and 11 wickets at 24.64

     

     

     

     

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, January 17

    Alfred Crescent Oval, Edinburgh Gardens, Fitzroy

     

    Time:

    1pm

     

    The Big Picture:

    This will be the first game in 2016 for the Quokkas, which they are pretty happy to see after going 1-7 to finish off 2015.

     

    With the game being against the ASRC and played at Alfred Crescent Oval, it is sure to be a highlight of the Quokkas season; promoting the inclusiveness of cricket at the home of Pub cricket.

     

    Truly, there hasn’t been a feel good coming together like this since Hall & Oates reunited.

    halloates

    So, so good

     

     

    The Quokkas will be looking to use this game to welcome others into the community and have some fun while doing it. Even they can surely win at that challenge?

     

    dont-call-me-shirley

     

    Form Guide

    Don’t ask.

     

    In the Spotlight:

    Bowl’en (Shane) is Captain for this game, his first time at the helm of the motley collection that call themselves Quokkas. Bowl’en has had a mixed season so far in Pub League games, but has dominated on turf pitches. Perhaps the classicalist in him is struggling to escape.

     

    On the subject of struggles with form, Ed returns for this game, deigning to grace us with his presence. A big fan of the size of Alfred Crescent, the fans on the boundary can surely look forward to pocketing a few cherries when he comes on to bowl.

     

    Team News:

    This is the first game in some time that The Quokkas have a full XI available for in the week before the game, but we all know that will probably change before Sunday.

     

    This weeks side is a strong mix of age and experience, as it seems those young people have better things to do with their time.

     

    1. Ed
    2. Chef
    3. Curto (w/k)
    4. Big Dog
    5. Bowl’en (c)
    6. Alex
    7. Rev
    8. Jay
    9. Snipper
    10. Tuesday
    11. Local

     

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Alfred Crescent Oval is the scene of many happy days for the Quokkas, winning or otherwise.

     

    The ground has that wonderful true bounce you can only get off astro laid over the top of concrete, as well as the most charming of pot holes in the outfield caused by soccer matches, picnics, dogs and the like.

     

    The BOM predicts a top of 28 on Sunday with plenty of sunshine. Where else would you rather be?

     

    Stats and Trivia:

    • With only 4 games remaining for the season, there really is no clear stand-out in the runs scored or wickets taken categories. There are 6 players tussling for most runs and 5 for most wickets;
    • As a collective, though, the Quokkas have taken 27 wickets in YPCA games this season at 26.4, with a wicket being taken every 3.6 overs
    • With the bat, the Quokkas have scored 643 runs off 538 balls for a strike rate of 1.2 & 55% of runs being scored through boundaries
    • The Big Dog needs only 9 runs to take his total for the club to 400, making him the 4th to do so
    • Chef needs only 13 runs to take his total for the club to 200, which he should do easily given his average of 26.71

     

    Vale Bowie

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • pogonophobia  /p?g?n??f??b??/

    extreme dislike of beards

     

    The natural habitat of the Quokka is northside inner suburban Melbourne. As we have tired of our surrounds the quest has continued to find new locations to spread the quokka legend. This year’s tour game took us far from the hipsters and skinny jeans of Fitzroy to the Gippsland countryside. Stories abounded that our hosts Nerrena had the only other ex-hurler Irish cricketer playing in Victoria. Someone other than Big Dog with a single cross-batted shot and an unorthodox bowling action? That alone was worth investigating further.

    The preceding week was spent with the squad oscillating from 13 down to 10 and with a couple of late additions we had 12 to play. On winning the toss our hosts decided that the decent thing was to give us the choice in any case and so it was that the Quokkas were set to bowl first. Snipper and Eliza arrived rock-star late but our hosts were happy to hold off the start. There was significant net activity and youthful exuberance by our opponents whilst the Quokka pre-match routine consisted of cracking open a few cold cans. All the warning signs were there you might say.

    The innings in the field started well with Ed and Chef keeping it tight. The Nerrena captain poked and prodded to 13 as wickets fell around him. Big Dog had a bowl and that little Waterford versus Kilkenny duel ended honours even. The Quokkas rotated the bowlers and Chef, Alex, Jay and Local all picked up wickets along the way. Impressive catches for Local and Alex off steepling shots and an uncharacteristically generally attentive fielding display left us with a gettable 117 to chase on the wide expanses of the fertile Gippsland dairy paddocks.

    Pretty great.

    Pretty great.

    The sun beat down with lazy sense of optimism at the innings break and all looked well in the world for the Quokkas. An early dismissal for our debutant Ian was followed by a solid partnership of 44 between Alex and Dutchy. Big Dog joined Dutchy to take the score to sitting pretty on 2/64 off 11 overs. But being the Quokkas calamity was never too far away and Big Dog, Snipper and Jay departed in the 12th over leaving us reeling.

    That triple wicket maiden was the turning point from which the Quokkas never recovered. Dutchy was out for 49 and Bowl’en, Cath and Ed couldn’t quite get us there despite some lusty blows in the last few overs. The Redcaps skipper showed his versatility with a spell of death bowling to clinch victory for his side. So in this particular Irish civil war it was keeping with the pattern of history as once again black and amber ruled supreme over white and blue. Tiocfaidh ár lá.

    Thanks to Brian for organising and for the whole club at Nerrena for hosting us on the day. It was a measure of the enjoyment from our side that when a return game in Melbourne was mooted one of the recently defeated Quokka batsman quickly added “stuff that, we’re coming down here again”. Big Dog retains the anti-Midas touch with a perfect record of 4 losses from 4 games as captain. Surely Winston Churchill had the Quokkas in mind when we said “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”.

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, November 22

    Fairlea East Oval, Yarra Bend

    Time:

    13:00 EST

    The Big Picture:

    For a team that prides itself on participation over a focus on wins and losses, this season has been a real winner for the Quokkas. Going into the game with only ten available to play after 3 steady losses, the saggy maroons are in top form to play a team new to the YPCA league.

    This version of the Old Bar is new to the competition & little is known about their cricketing or drinking prowess. I’d like to think they are a rag-tag bunch of plucky misfits, but maybe that’s because I’ve been watching The Goonies again.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas go into this game still winless for the 2015/16 season, having snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in their last game against the good folk in Nerrena.

    In the Spotlight:

    Tuesday comes back into the team at the top of the order with his big-hitting housemate, the Quokkas are hoping that the man under the ink can bring some more big runs to start the innings.

    After opening with Dutchy last week, Alex helped put on a 44 run stand & also bowled his customary deep, deep heat – though without the short balls. If he can keep this form up, he could well go home with a firm piece of plastic in his hands on Gownlow night.

    Team News:

    After the rush to play at the start of the season, the Quokkas only have 10 available for match day at the time of writing for the second week in a row. With several on standby, we should get the XI up fine.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Absolutely nothing.

    Absolutely nothing.

    The Ten at the time of writing is:

    1. Pup
    2. Curto (c)
    3. Dutchy
    4. Local
    5. Tuesday
    6. Tuesdays housemate (man Friday)
    7. Chef
    8. Alex
    9. Jay
    10. Nick A-W

    Pitch and Conditions:

    And so the Quokkas trek back to Fairlea East, the home of knee grazes where backpackers go to disappear. Also the home of Shotguns 30, its truly the modern Bermuda Triangle. The ground is likely to be dry with a fast outfield, have no running water available or toilets. What a glamorous life these Quokkas lead.

    On the plus side, its only going to be 21 degrees.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Incredibly, Tuesday and Chef both sit on 142 runs off 9 innings with 3 not outs each – for a matching average of 23.67
    • Tuesday has, though, taken 13 catches – better than 1 per match
    • If Pup should bat in this match, it will be his 20th innings for the Quokkas. He has scored 248 runs (9th highest) @ 19.08 for his career and taken 17 wickets (4th highest) @ 15.12 (so far)
  • From Captain Local….

    “The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes”, said someone who had obviously not picked up Dennis Rodman’s autobiography Bad As I Wanna Be and experienced the clear insight that this was indeed a book that should be judged by it’s cover and left unread.
    To this list of certain things can be added “catches win matches”.
    Fairlea West is a hard place for a gentle game. You go there without hope, because in a place like this hope gets sucked down to the dirty river along with the rest of the rubbish, and who’s got enough of it to spare? The freeway cuts a canyon behind the ground, the toilet block is locked (whether to keep you out or to keep something worse in) and running water is like human kindness in the rush to secure an overhead locker on the Tiger flight back from Bali – nowehre to be found.
    I heard a story once about this kid who used to wash dishes at a greasy spoon on Smith Street, back when you had to watch out that junkies didn’t steal the spoons, greasy or otherwise. He played in a punk/polka 5-piece called “Zombie Arse” and had some connections with a group of anarchists who ran a popular underground chess night out of a mouldy squat near Victoria Park. This dishwasher punk-rock anarchist kid took some bad acid one night and ran off up to Fairlea West, trying to shake The Fear. There on the narrow, mean strip of concrete that gets called the pitch, The Fear caught up with him. That kid is an old man now, living behind the torn and tattered flywire door of a one-bedroom flat in Thomastown, and his neighbours know to ignore his panicked cries in the night.
    The Quokkas batted first against the Curtain (The Beefies) and with solid contributions from most everyone – Tuesday and Dutchy the retirees – posted a competitive total of 7/174. After an excellent  lunch effort from Radar and Smallgoods on the bbq bike, we returned to the field and held the Beefies tightly until the drinks break. That is not a euphemism.
    However, it may be that The Fear still lurks among the yellowing grass up there at Fairlea, and all it takes is a couple of loose overs, some balls falling into empty space where a fielder should be and a catch or two going through hands for the tables to be turned as if they were specifically designed to do so, perhaps because they have been made for a catering or functions company that requires that capacity in a table.
    Several massive sixes and some traditional Quokka overthrows later and it was handshakes and congratulations all round for The Beefies.
    Nonetheless, it a testament to the Power of Cricket that this game was played in a spirit very much at odds with the brutalist surrounds. I mean, it could be that maybe the surrounds are actually not that brutal. Maybe this report is overstating the influence of the ground on Quokka fielding. Maybe there is in fact no evil malingering influence that lurks at the ground. Who knows – not me, I am not a Ghostbuster. I do know however that –  much like the type of idealised love that Paul Young and Zucchero long for in the sometimes overlooked hit Senza una Donna – when cricket is played as it was here then winning and losing simply become abstract concepts with which to illustrate, rather than define, the game.
  • From Captain Radar…

    Last weekend the Quokkas returned for the start of the new season against a team we haven’t played before in the Royal Derby.

    The Quokkas sent the opposition in and The Derby went on on take our all start opening attack for quite a few runs with some strong top order batting. After a couple of retirees the innings slowed significantly and the Quokkas were able to keep them to a surprisingly respectable total. The derby also went the way of India and refused to allow the DRS which did cause some controversy. Notable performances in the field:

    Local – 2 wickets and two catches (one caught and bowled)

    Rev – 1/1/grunts

    Ed – 3/14

    With the bat the Quokkas got off to a good start with Dutchy and Snipper opening. Snipper had a new bat.

    After an opening stand in the high 30’s, it was all down hill through the middle order for a while with a classic Quokkas collapse. Local stayed solid up one end though and backed up his good performance with the ball with an innings to keep us in the game. My tactics of putting proven Quokkas performers down the bottom of the order to get us out of trouble nearly paid off and chef, big dog and ed and had a swing and nearly got us over the line. But it was not to be with the Quokkas eventually going down 173-163

    Notable performances with the bat

    Local 37

    Chef 29
    Curto 26

    Thanks everyone for a great game and a welcome back to a new season.

  • A rather belated match report from Captain Local…

    It was a fine day at Fairfield stop

    The Quokkas seemed eager stop Seymours had brought a team of semi-professionals stop

    Much beer had been consumed on the bus from Ballarat stop

    Quokkas batted first stop Made 100ish with solid contributions from most stop

    Big Dog copped one on the eye but gamely batted on stop Seymours then batted stop

    Destroyed the total in very few overs stop

    Local dropped three catches, overtaking JRod’s season total in one game stop

    Quokkas seemed glad for season end stop

    Valiant effort from all at end of long season stop

    looking forward to next year stop

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  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.
  • If the ball is hit behind square, it is the non-strikers cal...