• Match Details

    Sunday, November 29th

    Fitzroy-Doncaster Cricket Ground

    Schramms Reserve No.2 ground

    JJ Tully Drive, Doncaster

    Start Time

    11:30 toss of the coin for a midday start

    (Does anyone have a coin? Promise I’ll return it)

    The Big Picture

    This week is sure to bring a pantsing to the Quokkas.

    The game is going to be played against a representative State side who are warming up for Nationals, on Turf, with LBW and other rules.

    We are doomed. DOOMED! Lord knows why I tee’d this up at all.

    I've been waiting to use this for ages

    I’ve been waiting to use this for ages

    I’m not going to give this the soft wash: they are going to smash us.

    That being said, the game is only a T20 affair, so we should be done nice and early so we can enjoy the VDCA enjoying their victory.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are actually coming off a win, there first for the 2015-16 season, after successfully chasing 150 against The Old Bar with 7 overs to spare.

    The win was obtained through some big hitting by Chef (44 off 14), J Rod (41*) and Tuesday (30*).

    Yup, this guy

    Yup, this guy

    The Old Bar did have a couple of good batsmen at the top of the order, like most pub teams, but we aren’t playing a pub team this week & so are potentially facing proper cricketers in the Spinal Tap way.

    All the way to Eleven.

    In the spotlight

    New fella Jay comes into this game with some solid form with bat and ball behind him. Being someone that looks like they can play proper cricket, Jay could very well thrive on a proper deck.

    The Rev has been generous enough to elect to play in this game, his first since the start of the season. In that time he has been focussing on his real cricketing strength; administration, so we can no doubt welcome a strong performance off the field.

    Team News

    Once again the Quokkas start the week one short from the required XI needed to field a side, but the VDCA has suggested they could loan us some players, which is mighty nice of them.

    The ten at the time of writing is:

    1. Alex
    2. Curto (w/k)
    3. Big Dog
    4. Tuesday
    5. Bowl’en
    6. J Rod
    7. Jay
    8. Snipper
    9. Local
    10. Rev (c)

    Pitch and Conditions

    As unbelievable as it sounds, the Quokkas will be playing on a Premier Division wicket this week. This sort of fraudulent behaviour hasn’t been witnessed since Ed introduced himself as an Author.

    The weather is expected to be cool and overcast, so we could well be dealing with more swing than the 70s.

    Stats and Trivia

    • Chefs 44 off 14 last weekend is only second to Rowdys 87 off 23 (3.14 to 3.78) for strike rates for scores over 30 – imagine if he had another 9 deliveries!
    • Chef is also scoring 74% of his runs through boundaries (40% fours, 34% sixes) this season
    • Tuesday doesnt have a batting average this season (yet to be dismissed)
    • Dutchy (2 catches yesterday) increased his career total by 25%
    • The man with 41* – J Rod (269) – sits behind only Dutchy, Ed, Emu, Big Dog & Gladys for career runs
    • Curtos (aka The Wild Things) wicket yesterday, his 6th, dropped his avg with the ball from 43 to 38.5 (31 overs total, 231 runs, 7.45 RPO)
    • There isn’t anything I can say about Local that hasn’t been said before
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, November 15

    The ground is on Nerrena Hall Rd a short distance west off the C454 at Nerrena.

    Start Time:

    1pm

    The Big Picture:

    It is with great excitement that the Tour match for the 2015/16 season has come upon us.

    While the tour match is normally the first game of the season and/or a good excuse for the team to get away together to see some of the sights of this fine country (e.g. the Barossa Valley, the Tay valley, Ballarat), this years looks to be much more low-key with the vast majority of the team heading up on the morning of the game itself.

    The highlight from Ballarat

    The highlight from Ballarat

    This may be due to increased parenting duties by the majority of the team, or the organizational abilities of the tour organizer (the Big Dog) or a combination of the two.

    Most likely the latter though.

    The game against the Nerrena 3rd XI is a welcome opportunity to travel to Gippsland to take in the famous hospitality of the region, the South Gippsland rail trail, the tourist railway and (possibly) the Mirboo North brewery.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are going into this game with a winless record for the 2015/16 season, going down to the Royal Derby by 10 runs then the Curtin Hotel by 8 wickets last week.

    Also going against the boys in maroon is that this game will be played using normal T20 rules, so there will be; LBWs, first-ball outs, Wides, Extras and other rules that go against the pub-cricketers norm.

    Its not-not cricket, I tells ya.

    Little is known about the form of the Nerrena 3rd XI, largely as a combination of laziness on my part, as well as their Facebook page being a closed group.

    In the Spotlight:

    The Big Dog goes into this game as Captain, being the organiser of the game. The Veteran is in mixed form so far this season, cracking some late-order runs (including a scintillating hockey-paddle six into the carpark) against the Royal Derby as well as taking a wicket in that game. His game against the Curtin wasn’t as successful, yielding 8 runs and his 2 overs going for 14.

    His cricketing nous and experience is likely to be tested to the fullest this Sunday with the LBW rule in play, as well as a fleet of bowlers used to playing with no ‘Wide’ rule. More important still will be his recruiting ability to get a full XI up in time.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    Dutchy has started the 2015/16 season in promising big-hitting form, with 60% of his runs coming from boundaries (48% fours, 12% sixes). With the opportunity to not be asked to bowl in this game, the man in the van could seriously gather some votes & keep them.

    Team News:

    Unlike the previous 2 matches, the Quokkas only have ten good men and true available for this game at the time of writing. Given that we had 12 available on the Monday before the last game, 2 pull out before the weekend, yet managed to find another 2 – we should be OK to put forward a full XI. That being said, its very likely the majority of the team still hasn’t realized the game is in Gippsland and may pull out due to conflicting Soccer / live Gig / hair washing interests.

    The Ten at the time of writing is:

    1. Big Dog (c)
    2. Ed
    3. Bowl’en
    4. Dutchy
    5. Chef
    6. Snipper
    7. Jay
    8. Alex
    9. Local
    10. J Rod

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Very little is known about the pitch at Nerrena, but being Gippsland you can pretty easily bet that the ground has seen a fair amount of rain since the last ice age.

    Artists impression of Gippsland in Summer

    Artists impression of Gippsland in Summer

    The Quokkas are hoping desperately that we aren’t playing on turf. Wet weather, turf and shoes without spikes make for an interesting game (as the Bushrangers recently learned).

    Its set to be a sunny 21 degrees in Melbourne on Sunday, so may hit the heights of 19 in Nerrena.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Given that this isn’t a YPCA game, the stats won’t count come end of season time, though they will be recorded;
    • On the YPCA stats, J Rod has now bowled 58.5 overs, the most of all time…behind only Ed (85.1), Dutchy (71), Big Dog & Emu (63), Robbo and Rev (59);
    • For his efforts, J Rod has collected 16 wickets at 21.25, going at 5.81 RPO;
    • While the Quokkas mostly use the internet for geo-caching and other nefarious purposes, Tuesday has generously set us up with an Instagram account! Look us up at QUOKKAS_CC

     

  • A rather belated match report from Captain Local…

    It was a fine day at Fairfield stop

    The Quokkas seemed eager stop Seymours had brought a team of semi-professionals stop

    Much beer had been consumed on the bus from Ballarat stop

    Quokkas batted first stop Made 100ish with solid contributions from most stop

    Big Dog copped one on the eye but gamely batted on stop Seymours then batted stop

    Destroyed the total in very few overs stop

    Local dropped three catches, overtaking JRod’s season total in one game stop

    Quokkas seemed glad for season end stop

    Valiant effort from all at end of long season stop

    looking forward to next year stop

  • From Captain Dutchy…

     

    Beware the Ides of March (and Keyser Soze).
    The Rose, 1st of March @ Fairlea West

    Captaining is a unique experience. You are informed of your impending captaining-ness, safe in the knowledge that you shall be the only one. That and Emu+Curto weren’t playing so the bluff was on. Having decided some left field thinking was due for the Quokkas I promptly arrived at the ground at noon. Unheard of. As were my team mates. Upon phoning Rev and discovering the opposition were making requests for the BBQ bike as there were no such facilities at the ground, I smelt a rat whilst standing next to the perfectly functioning BBQ facilities. At Burnley Oval.

    In my endeavors to introduce Left -field thinking I had gone so far beyond the outfield as to be at the wrong ground. 20 minutes of channeling that Ford-financed-Ad-I-mean-Bullitt-movie involving Steve McQueen and the Green Mustang (not easy in an ex ambulance!) saw me safely at the correct ground.

    JRod had inspired (shocked) me the previous week by arriving organised so I decided to follow in those footsteps and wrote down a list for both bowling and batting.

    We only had ten but the Rose lads kindly agreed to supply a fielder. Perhaps they sent him to the Burnley oval as he never eventuated. Ironically we fielded much better than normal as we avoided ‘getting in each others’ way’ with one short. The Oval was looking strangely green, as opposed to its usual dead grass tones and not its usual cow-paddock come runway type speed.

    Cuz, another Nichols family member more talented than Rev, opened the attack and managed to miss the bat at a pace and movement not seen since Lennie Pascoe terrorised batsmen in the 80’s.

    Pup, and Snipper bowled the 2nd (8 runs) and third overs (12 runs) as part of the rotating (possibly confusing) one over each policy.
    Snipper seems to have developed the ability to bowl really good line and length and STILL get carted. There is no justice in Pub cricket. But more about that later…
    Bowl’en (I think Rev misplace that apostrophe just to wind me up!), Rev and Cuz all were at the wrong end of some lusty hitting by their captain (Tooms) but luckily my ‘left’field’ captaincy knew this would result in retirees. Both openers for that matter. Time for my secret weapon. JRod.
    I knew he could regain medium pace glory, as long as i gave him most of the match to recover before his second over. He proceeded to bowl two Maidens. Potentially a Quokkas first?!
    It seemed like the right time to hide my bowling whilst the batters were somewhat comatose. 25 runs, a wicket (we shan’t mention that someone dropped another chance nor shall we mention it was Bowl’en…) and a tea break later I could let the real bowlers back onto the track.
    So at the break The All new Rose were about 114 and the numbers were looking ominous. With the Rose’s first three batsmen making a combined 115 runs (all retired including 50!!! from Tooms). The Quokkas have historically entered a ‘recession we had to have’ like post drinks torpor. Or to be blunt we tend to get spanked in the second half.

    And then a miracle descended upon the ground, placed curiously next to a female prison. To be clear no prisoners descended upon the ground but an escape was the order of the day.

    Mick, Don ‘small goods’, and Rev were really tight (insert your own double entendre ) and then he arrived. The Big Dog.

    ‘Sending down’ isn’t really applicable as Dog tends to send the ball vertically upwards. He even hit the pitch consistently (it must be noted the pitch was 60% its usual width due to the City of Yarra’s ‘maintenance regime’ or lack thereof…). Never a dull moment as the Irishman, dreaming of Irish cricket glory (not the English captain’s. who is also Irish, but those actually playing for Ireland…) totally bamboozled the batsmen.

    One lad asked Pup who was behind the stumps “What does this guy do wit the ball?” to which Pup replied “Usually puts it over the midwicket fence”.

    Audible sniggering was heard from the crease, proceeded by repeated swishing of willow as the Rose batsmen managed a meagre 20-odd off Dog’s deserved three (YES, 3!) overs. Possibly another first for the Dog. And why? 2 wickets is why. We all gathered at his messiah-like presence as he held his arms aloft with a total look of “I told you so!” as fell at his feet. Don ‘smallgoods’ sent down a couple of handy overs and the Rose were starting to slow… Bowl

    Having only ten players turned out to be a strange blessing as it meant five of our bowlers had to bowl a third over. This resulted in Rev, Cuz, Snipper, Pup and the aforementioned Dog to make up the extra five overs. And what overs. Dog’s 2 wickets, a plethora of dot balls and only a handful of precious boundaries ensued and none of those pesky retirees revisiting the stage saw The Rose end up with 181.

    The batting scorecard looked not unlike one of those horizontal bar charts comparing a disparate array of elements. Such as Quokka email response-rate (some might place me on that top line…) or the variability of Local’s run-up length (it gets shorter with each delivery…).
    In other words, a big triangle.

    Back at the start of this tome I mentioned BBQ issues. The Rose didn’t bring one. There was genuine fear in some players’ hearts but luckily some lateral thinking saw a grand spread of sandwiches (which doesn’t really do them justice) placed before us. 181. Could we do that?

    Cinderella moments come upon us rarely but the romantic notion of sending Big Dog and Pup out to open seemed fitting. That and a good balance of belligerence and scoring ability.

    The Dog continued a spanking game by scoring 22 off 21 and Pup 18 off 12. A solid start and the captain was pleased.

    Snipper arrived at the crease continuing the merriment with 31 retired off 22 cherry-ripes. Small Goods meanwhile noodled out a handy 8. Thus it was my turn and reeling from some liberal feedback from fellow Quokkas the previous game, where I dared score at a meagre run a ball, I felt the need to get the worm pointing north and to keep the scoreboard ticking over. Feeling somewhat redeemed with a 31 off 20, despite an entire over (Tooms again!) of dot balls (the lad can bowl; when he hits the pitch; a rather disconcerting thing to face…).

    ‘Cuz’ meanwhile was diligently ticking along and only conceded two dot balls, ending in a J-Curve finish to his dig with a sequential 4-6-6-1. At the other end JRod was putting on a master class of running singles. No matter how far the ball was hit. The concept of a ‘two’ seemed about as likely as a Demon’s premiership and i may have given some ‘feedback’ whilst chasing Maxy’s lusty hitting on the sidelines.
    Nick, Bowl’en and Radar came and went in a flurry. Cuz’s last gasp had dragged the equation back within reach and with only ten players the Quokkas were back into the retirees. Re-enter Snipper, who added another 12, among which Radar was run-out in the urge to score. I walked back out and faced Tooms again! I managed to ‘Noodle away a run to leg side’ * and got the Snipper back at the business end.

    With 12 off 12 deliveries required it was a tense affair. The vast majority of 2014/15 Quokka matches seem to have been decided in the last over. Great for TV ratings. All we needed was TV coverage. Eliza and her ‘allegedly’ home baked goods would have to suffice…

    With a four and a six dispatched by the Broadie (not-so) wide-boy we now only required one run with seven balls to go.

    I whispered to Snipper that I was equal with Ed on the season’s runs and was keen to vanquish the engineering Hipster in the runs tally.

    Snipper, being a team player promptly dispatched the next delivery for six!

    And not just for six but, with sedition in his eyes, hit the aforementioned six INTO MY VAN!!!

    Such a nice lad with such a nice smile and disposition; Henceforth to be referred to as ‘Keyser Soze’.

    Oh, and we thus-ly won the match. What a great escape in great weather, a great spread and The Rose lads a truly lovely bunch of lads.

    Much merriment ensued, we returned to the Labor in Vain and all was good with the cricketing gods.

    Yours ‘never lost as captain’ Dutchy.

    * Pup, manning the scorebook, generously scored my legside shot as a run off the bat, putting me one run ahead of Ed in the season’s tally, but I must confess it was a leg bye, which makes next week’s return leg against the Ballarat Seymour Lads a showdown of the willow for Gownlows Glory.

  • From Captain J Rod

     

    It was the day after Radar’s wedding and we were expecting some wounded warriors for our clash with the recently crowned BDNO Champions; the “Hated Dan”.

    As captain for this match, I was hoping to see the DOCC boys still hung-over from their recent triumph and we could come away with the win.

    We were batting first, and with the Dan only having 8 players on the field I thought we would start with with a couple of quick retirements from our openers Ed & Dutchy.

    It seemed that the less players the Dan had the slower our run rate. Chef & Local even offered to field for the BDNO Champions, but this was quickly rejected be they Dan (it seems they may have seen the Quokkas performance in the field).

    Soon after the Dan had a few more players turn up and finally had 11 players on the field. It was at this point that Ed & Dutchy finally started making some runs & with both openers retiring soon after, we were looking in good shape.

    Snipper with the best average in the team this season and the newly-Wed Radar quickly came & went, which had the Skipper (J-Rod) walking out to join Local, fresh from his first retirement score the week before.

    Local got a quick fire 10 before being caught going for another big shot.

    This had the fired up and freshly (more) inked Tuesday out to join the captain.

    The plan was clear; let’s get quick runs. Even though it seemed like slow hard work, we built a partnership of 48 runs from the next 6 and a bit overs. The partnership came to and end with Tuesday getting caught on the boundary, with J Rod caught the same way a few balls later.

    With a couple of overs to go, we had the big hitting Robbo and new recruit Keegs come in.  Keegs blasted 19 off 7 balls, with a couple of massive sixes; one landed on the roof of the sheds which we were all kinda hoping would smash a window for a bit of extra drama.

    At the BBQ break the Quokkas were feeling confident with 163 on the board.

    After a nice BBQ with Radar and family, the Quokkas started off very well with the ball. Snipper started with 2 dot balls… Then things changed…
    …it seemed like Deja Vu all over again with the Dan’s openers blasting 50 runs off the next 2 and a half overs and with only 1 wicket. This came from Robbo who ended the innings of their big hitting opener (finished with 37 off 12 balls).

    With a well planned strategic retirement of their second opener, the runs started to slow.

    On came Chef who was well rested from not having to bat. Golden arm Chef had instant success taking a wicket with his 2nd ball. He finished his first over with 1/4.

    Alex was next to bowl, his long awaited return to the Quokkas started with a wicket from his first ball, and followed that up with 5 dots balls. A wicket maiden. Welcome back!

    Next was Tuesday who had a nice spell and finished the last over before drinks with 0/4.

    At the drinks break, we checked the score and discovered the Dan were 114. With 50 runs of 13 overs, it wasn’t looking good for the Quokkas. But with some romance in the air left over from Mr & Mrs Radars wedding, could a miracle happen? (The dark rain clouds were closing in.)

    After drinks, the spin twins of Ed and JRod came on. Ed went for a miserly 3 runs off his first over. JRod with 2 wickets in his 2nd game back as a spinner/slow bowler. Both caught behind the stumps with an awesome catch at slips by Ed about a metre above his head, and a great take by Tuesday with the gloves.
    With our 4 overs we had 2/17 and the Dan were now 5/133.

    The game was now in the balance, the Dan need 31 runs from 9 overs. We only need 5 wickets. We could almost taste victory. (Plus we has a secret weapon.)

    Bring on Aramis.. Our American friend over for Radars wedding was next to take the ball. With a different style and a slightly bent arm, he had very respectable 4 runs taken off his first 5 balls. Then with his last ball he put it right in the strike zone which was sent over the fence for a home run!

    With only a handful of runs needed, the Dan quickly finished the game so we could all get out of the heat and head back the the Dan O’Connell for a few cold drinks.

    With a great game had by all, and a mighty fine effort for the last 2 games by Aramis, the Quokkas presented him with the match ball to take back with him to the USA.

    Big congratulations to Radar and his new Bride on their wedding, and his family for coming down for support.

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, March 1 – Fairlea West Oval, Yarra Bend

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture:

    While 2015 has been one of the busiest summers of cricket, it hasn’t been the kindest of years to The Quokkas; with only 2 wins from 6 games. Those 2 wins haven’t been against pub league rivals either, 1 was a very tight contest against the VBCA and the other a 1-wicket win against the ASRC. With a re-match against Seymours on Lydiard scheduled in for March 15, this game against the Rose will be the penultimate game for the season & (probably) the last chance for a win; not that winning is what the Quokkas are about.

    Seen here; what it's about

    Seen here; what it’s about

    As it stands, the approach for playing for playings sake has never been better represented than with this game as no less than 14 players have confirmed that they are unavailable. 2 new players have had to be called in, as well as new players Jim and Small Goods, and Cunners – who hasn’t been seen since the 2010/11 season.

    In regards to the opposition, the Quokkas haven’t played The Rose since the infamous match in 2012/13. That squad has subsequently moved to a new pub, The Birmingham, so The Quokkas aren’t really sure of what to expect. They are, apparently, mates of Radars, so they must be good blokes.

    Not always happy, but good

    Not always happy, but good

    In all, it’s a bit of a melange and a sign of a team that has played possibly too much cricket.

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: LWLWLLW

    The Rose: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    Dutchy entered the 2014/15 season slightly behind Ed for career runs scored & a private competition between the two of them for the first to 500 was won by Ed a few weeks ago against the ASRC. Since then, though, the Dutchman has passed 500 and only needs 31 to draw level with Ed. Can the big-hitter go the distance and win the batting award from behind?

    This game also represents the 40th time the Big Dog has strode out for The Quokkas in a YPCA-rules match (doesn’t include VBCA or BDNO games). A great reflection of his commitment to social cricket & a triumph of availability over ability. Well done, the ‘Dog.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    Team News:

    As mentioned, the Quokkas have had to search high and wide to get their XI together, which they have done. It is (at this stage):

    1. Big Dog
    2. Dutchy
    3. Snipper
    4. Ball’en
    5. Rev
    6. Cunners
    7. Nick AW
    8. Jim
    9. J Rod
    10. Pup
    11. Small Goods

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The game is being played at Fairlea West, which is one of the most haunted grounds on earth. Despite it being a mild summer with a lot of rain, the ground at Fairlea West is as hard as cement.

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    It is expected to be a warm day, so The Quokkas will be chasing in the sun.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be the Big Dogs 40th game for the Quokkas, a well-earned record;
    • J Rod is in incredible form with the bat (23, 30* and 25 in his last 3 knocks) & is now only 12 runs off 200 career runs. This will make him the 10th Quokka to hit the milestone (after Ed, Emu, Dutchy, Rowdy, Big Dog, Curto, Radar, Phantom and Pup);
    • Up until the last game, Snipper had only been out once this season, and that was when Radar ran him out in the first match. As a result, his average sits at a lofty 57.
  • For a cricket club that plays the game for fun and inclusion, a game like the one against the ASRC had previously unknown importance. If ever there was a time to enjoy the game for its own sake, this was it. The importance of enjoyment brought back memories of Dolph Lundgren in ‘Universal Soldier’ with his line: “Are we having fun yet?”.

    And who could forget that?!

    And who could forget that?!

    Lining up at the Kevin Bartlett Recreational Ground, arguably the smallest ground on earth, was only ever going to add to the enjoyment of the day. It was agreed that a score of 200+ would be needed to guarantee the win.

    Oh, how we smiled at the thought of it.

    Working against our smiles, though, was the weather. With the thermostat pushing past 30 by midday and promising plenty more to come, along with the very un-Melbourne humidity levels, spirits moved from ‘high’ to ‘coping’ quickly. The weather had such an adverse impact that many of the ASRCs players decided it was safer to stay indoors. They were right. Still, with plenty of Quokkas and spectators available, two teams were constructed and the ASRC elected to have a bat.  Opening with Subi and Israr, the ASRC lads got off to a good start, particularly against Ed whose off-spinners went for 12 in his first over.

    Needing to put the brakes on a bit, Captain Rev lent on medium-but-accurate bowlers Paz and Chef and was repaid with interest almost immediately, with The Chef serving up a main meal of middle peg destruction. Sensing that there might actually be something to this accurate bowling approach, The Rev then brought on J Rod and Snipper, both of whom got in on the wickets too. Snipper even went on to take the old Richie Benaud figures one step further; 2 overs, 2 runs, 2 wickets and 2 catches! One of the catches was Super-Mario-esque, with Snipper appearing to jump while in the air.

    Artists impression of Snipper

    Artists impression of Snipper

    On the subject of catches, Tuesday was again everywhere, taking 3 for the day including a couple of screamers on the leg side boundary. He has now taken as many career catches as the Big Dog in 33 less games.

    Possibly dizzy from the heat or catches being held, The Rev decided it was time to go for a walk under the sprinklers in the neighbouring Soccer pitch and brought “Bowl’en” Shane on for a while, possibly because he thought the batsmen may hit a few to the middle of the pitch. The thought was almost correct, as “Bowl’en” went on to take 3 wickets off 2 overs, only the 3rd time a Quokka has taken 3 wickets in a game.

    Going into drinks with the score at 8-50 and with spirits lifted by the sprinklers, the Quokkas thought it best to let the ASRC bat 11 batsmen. Note to the patient reader: whenever the Quokkas get cocky, disaster strikes. On this day disaster took the form of the returning batsman Ishrah and super-sub (and birthday boy) The Big Dog.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The Big Dog made a mockery of the leg-side field that was set for him, often hitting at and through the fielders placed there, particularly The Rev. His deft leaving of Emus lightning bolts outside off stump was a lesson for all young cricketers to follow. The innings was brought to an unexpected end by The Rev bowling off spin (as he had lent his shoes to one of the opposition) and getting one to pop up to Israh who edged it to Gully for ‘keeper Tuesday to run in and catch another screamer in front of Emu.

    The total had now moved to a more daunting 124, though not so daunting that The Rev arrogantly opted to open the batting with his brother. The strategy paid off to a degree, with the siblings both making brisk 5s & allowing their mum to go home and get out of the heat. J Rod arrived at first drop, and was soon joined by Shane, and even sooner by Radar with The Quokkas looking decidedly shaky at 3 for not may at all.  The ASRC were bowling brilliantly in the conditions, with Subi getting miles of inswing from his left armers, as well as solid support (and pace) from Hussain and Ikram. J Rod was the answer to clever bowling though, top edging over his head on at least 4 occasions to hit the boundary directly behind him, as well as punching singles and 2s along the lush outfield to hit his first retirement score (30).

    The retirement of J Rod precipitated another mini-collapse, with Emu and Tuesday registering 1s before being caught out trying to hit out. Emu’s dismissal was a particular highlight, with the large flightless bird being caught on the rope by the birthday boy (what a present!) by the bowling of the long-suffering Kathleen (Eds partner). My memory isn’t very good these days, but I’m pretty sure that’s the second time in 2 seasons that Emu has been dismissed by the fairer sex.

    ahhhh yes....

    ahhhh yes….

    Radar was then joined at the crease by Ed, who obviously likes sleeping on the couch as he hit Kathleens next 2 deliveries for 10 runs. The heat began to pinch again, with Radar losing his na-na and running himself out, bringing Dutchy to the crease.  Surviving an appeal for Leg-Before-St Kilda, Dutchy settled in comfortably and started working the ball around, creeping the score towards the target. A combination of the heat and the birthday boy then saw the end of Ed, who knicked an extra slow delivery to the ‘keeper, allowing Snipper to come in and hit the winning runs with the Dutchman.

    Not that the end result mattered, the game was all about having a go and having some fun. It was great to see the smiling faces of the lads from the ASRC and the Quokkas, showing how beneficial sport can be in welcoming people into the community.

    Thanks must go to Dave Cameron from the ASRC for helping organise the game, Yarra Council for letting us use the field, Prahran and Moorabbin Park Cricket Clubs for donating gear to the ASRC, Pup for umpiring and scoring all day & to everyone who helped out.

  • I had to be in Myrtleford for work yesterday and over the long drive I replayed those final two balls in my head a thousand times and I still missed them.  I think I can put it down to not being able to achieve the firm grip I like on my little master while holding JRod’s. Anyway, to the details…

    In classic Quokkas from 14 players had turned to 11 by Sunday with myself picking up the captains badge curto left behind before heading to the beach. We bowled first to the Prince Patrick and struggled for wickets early on until I turned to Steve “Chef” Waugh and on cue the stumps were rattled. That was the only wicket and significant event of the first 12 overs with the exception of Pup pulling a hammy which effected his onfield enthusiasm the same way a sardine effects the humpback whale migration

    After the drinks there was fielding not seen since roger harper graced the field in a windies shirt. The choke was well and truly put on by everyone but Local who went for two MASSIVE sixes (only sixes of the game). Local did have his revenge when Tuesday took a catch that went so high Cypress Hill would have been impressed. In the normal run of events that would have been the fielding highlight, but in a normal game, the man who Robbo mentioned couldn’t catch ebola at a Sierra Leone teenage pash party, wouldn’t have calmly caught a skier just inside the fine leg boundary. Yes you are reading correctly Jarrod McKenzie took a catch. I took a catch a few balls later and once again the Dog had come on a taken a 2for in an over. To assist my match report he passed me this information on the batsman.

    “First victim (unluckiest man in cricket to be out c JRod b BD) has batted six times this season typically hitting 30 off 10 balls and only out twice. Second victim had played for the team for 2 years scoring over 300 runs and never been dismissed until he encountered the dog’s slower delivery.”

    We kept them to 168 which was in our range so not too much pressure which was evident by the way radar and Snipper strolled between the wickets in their opening partnership. Snip did get the innings going with a lazy 23 off one over and the Quokkas were away. Dog came and went and then JRod and Robbo proceeding to try and run each other out but still somehow kept the score board turning over. Dutchy got the run rate down before walking himself out (“the fielders were all shouting bowlers end!”) and then threw a tanty not seen from him in at least 2 years when Jrod offered him some running between wickets advice.

    It got down to 19 off 3 overs and Tuesday got it down to 7 off the last over, Local was dismissed on the 4th ball with 4 required. I walked to the crease, feeling ok about it as I did this in the game before Christmas. But as the Dog put it at the labour afterwards when he was “consoling” me – Sometimes you are the pigeon and sometimes the statue – and cricket once again humbled another player as I didn’t connect to either ball and we lost by 3 runs. It was tough, I lost plenty of sleep since working out who to blame and then I worked it out…I was distracted by Chef parading around infront of the Townhouses shirt off and chest out.

    Prince Patrick 168 (Dog 2fa, Snipper boundary run out)

    Quokkas 165 (Snipper 36, JRod 23, Radar 20, Ed 0*)

  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, January 11 2015 Ramsden Street Oval, Clifton Hill

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture

    With a new year brings new opportunities, which probably doesn’t bode so well for The Quokkas given their successful record of late. Of the 5 games played by the men in maroon so far this season, 4 have been impressive wins (either by large margins, or against good opponents).  The lads will certainly be hoping that the opportunity in this year of the goat isn’t one to revisit the losers tables at their opponents pubs.

    This match, against the Prince Patrick will be a good litmus test for where the Quokkas are at after the New Year break, with both teams fairly even in their previous encounters.

    Form Guide

    Quokkas: WWWLW

    Prince Patrick: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    Dutchy, freshly back from high altitude training in Canada, is in life-best form; averaging 36 with the bat at a strike rate of 203.  That may not be much chop in baseball terms, but the Dutchman is playing the rectangular bat game now.

    Also, having given up his suspect swing bowling & taken to bowling left-arm Chinamen, he is in the wickets for the first time in several seasons (2 @ 25, compared to his career average of 10 @ 40).

    All this, plus runs and wickets

    All this, plus runs and wickets

    Team News:

    As is often the way first thing on a Monday morning, The Quokkas have 13 available for this game though that is certain to change come midday Sunday. As per the normal custom where there is an excess of players, 2 of the 13 will be ‘bowling only’ players, which will also give the Captain the opportunity to rest less effective bowlers; which is generally all of them.

    Quokkas XIII (possible):

    1. Snipper
    2. Big Dog
    3. Dutchy
    4. Curto (C and W/K)
    5. Chef
    6. Tuesday
    7. Radar
    8. Pup
    9. Shotgun
    10. J Rod
    11. Robbo
    12. Local
    13. Ed

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The Ramsden Street Oval is a biggy, and after a week featuring a mix of rain and sun, the grass could be shoulder height by Sunday.  Toughing out the runs will be the name of the game Sunday, something that Captain Curto will relish in.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • With a 4 off the only ball he faced in the last game, Ed brought up his 100 runs for the season before Christmas.  This was last (famously) done by the Big Dog whose form tapered away steadily from then.  Can Ed avoid the Santa (doesn’t deliver after Christmas) award?
    • Dutchy is 27 runs off 100 runs for the season so far & in startling form;
    • Local is on 97 runs for the season, only bettered by the Big Dog (98).  Runs against that is;
    • If the players listed do play, it will be the first time this season that the Quokkas haven’t fielded a debutant
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, December 21 Pederson Oval, Brunswick Street, Fitzroy North

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture

    The Quokkas last game for 2014 comes amongst a flurry of good tidings and cheer.  Not only are the Quokkas 3 wins from 4 games, but their 1 loss was against far superior opposition & even it wasn’t a blow out. Their last game, against the Marquis, saw them win a very highly skilled match against brilliant opposition.  This has led many to ask; “what have you done with our Quokkas?”.

    The “Beef” Curtin are one of the Maroon armys favourite teams to play, having co-hosted the Small Day Not Out last season & also our opposition to perhaps the greatest Quokka game of all.

    With Christmas just around the corner, this match is sure to contain plenty of festive cheer.

    Form Guide

    Quokkas: WWLW

    John Curtin: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    Since coming into the side this year, Tuesday & Chef started slowly but have put in ever-improving performances with each game.  While Tuesdays fantastic year in the field (6 catches, more than Curto) has had the crowds talking, its his efforts with the bat (scores of 1, 6 and 25) that are really starting to change games.

    Similarly, Chef is starting to build confidence from his bowling performances and is starting to hit runs, and in a hurry too.

    Team News:

    The lost dogs home has called and as a result we have the indefagitable Pup back amongst our numbers.  The left-armer had a break-out summer last summer, and I’m not just talking about pimples.  Finishing second in the B&F only on a countback, Pup (16 career wickets at 13 & 178 runs at 16) is a welcome addition to the team.

    IMG_8574

    He’s baaaaack…..

    Perhaps due to the Christmas rush, the pull outs are a little premature this week.  Rowdy and J Rod have confirmed their unavailability, to be replaced by similar players; Rev and (new boy) Barnesy.

    Quokkas XI (probable):

    1. Snipper (c)
    2. Radar
    3. Big Dog (w/k)
    4. Ed
    5. Local
    6. Rev
    7. Chef
    8. Tuesday
    9. Pup
    10. Cruiser
    11. Barnesy

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The Pederson Oval is the home and heart of Yarra Pub Cricket with its grandiose grandstand and lush, long boundaries. The forecast is for a balmy 28 degrees and with the Quokkas batting second, they should be sure to keep their energy about them in the field.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be Eds 30th appearance for the Quokkas (not counting BDNO or VBCA games), making him only the second player to do so (behind the Big Dog);
    • Locals hot run of form with the bat has seen his batting average this season boom out to over 10 (10.8 to be precise) at a pulsating strike rate of 0.81.  A vast improvement of the average of ~3 that he carried into the season;
    • The Curtins bowlers could be excused for having a double-take at the Quokkas batting averages for this season.  Snipper (62), Radar (45), Emu (68), Ed (48) and Big Dog (50) are all looking like Test candidates on paper, before one considers the YPCA retirement rule;
    • The Quokkas have taken an un-Quokka-like 18 catches already this season, though some of this could be attributed to the lack of attendance by J Rod.  More amazing still is that, even though Curto has been in the form of his life behind the stumps, Tuesday has more catches than him (6 to 5)

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Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.