• Many thanks to everyone that made it to the Awards night last Saturday, a particular thanks to those that really made the effort with their attire on the night.


    The happiest B&F winner of all time




    Robbo and his ladies taking a break from presenting ‘The Price is Right’


    Nick, Snipper and a guy dressed like Luther Vandross’  bedroom

    Congratulations to all the winners – particularly Snipper for taking out the B&F, Dutchy for Most Runs, Chef for Most Wickets and Saul for the Bravery award (for agreeing to a second game against Seymours on Lydiard!).

    Other Award winners included:

    • Champagne Moment – The Rev (for leaving the field of play, missing a catch and refusing to field the ball while drinking prosecco with some spectators)
    • Dwayne Leverock Award for Best Hands – Tuesday
    • Ryan Mitchell Award for Worst Player at the Big Day Not Out – Ryan Mitchell
    • Best Player at the Big Day Not Out – Dutchy (not for his 1 run, but for his sledging)
    • Best Player on Tour – Mo (for getting our bond back)

    A great night was had by all and here’s looking forward to next season!

  • The Jugged Hare had the honour of holding London’s premier social event of the year, The Quokkas CC Presentation Evening 2014. A small, yet select, list of guests were entertained in the usual manner with tales of sporting ineptitude on the pitch and one or two stories of actual cricketing prowess, punctuated with a smattering of awards for outstanding contributions to Quokkadom this season.

    t20 Award: Dr Martin


    Andrew Smithers Champagne Moment: The Skip for arguing with a greek man


    Quokkette Award: Slick for general lady entertaining


    Egg Bravery Award: Belinda for baby life saving at the Ashes

    With points awarded for each match, the race for Best & Fairest was wide open again this this year with a number of Quokkas vying for the major prize of the evening. Once the reckoning was reckoned, his satanic majesticness Evil Dave emerged victorious for his role as this year’s leading wicket-taker and pinch hitter extraordinaire.


    Darkness rises

    A smattering of season statistics for the data junkies among you

    Results: Played 9; Won 3; Lost 6

    Highest Totals:

    • Quokkas – 216/5 vs Salix
    • Opposition – 237/7 Barnes Common

    Lowest Totals:

    • Quokkas – 101 ao vs Whalers
    • Opposition – 85 ao Hartfield

    Most Runs: Conan The Destroyer – 128 @ 25.6

    Highest Score: Gladys – 78 against Salix

    Most Wickets: Evil Dave – 9 @ 14.9

    Best Bowling: Mr Saucisson – 4/14 against Hartfield


    • Evil Dave overtook both Shandy to move to 5th on all time leading run scorers (572), and The Egg to move 2nd on the wicket takers list (46)
    • Faggy snook past the Praying Mantis to move to 3rd top career batsmen (741)
    • Tom the Yak powered past The Attack and Binman to reach 4th on the career bowling stats (37)
    • Slick played his 25th game in Quokka Colours
    • Mr Saucisson retired back to the colonies from with the superb record of Played 11, Runs 168@18.7, Wickets 19@9.0
  • And so another season of un-entertaining cricket for the Victorian (Labour in Vain) Quokkas was crowned with an entertaining evening of celebration in the manner only known as THE GOWNLOWS.

    Taking up residence in the Grace Darling Hotel, the second-oldest pub in Melbourne, in the very room in which the Collingwood Football Club was formed, the Quokkas celebrated their own recent season with a count of the votes given, match reports read and awards presented for outstanding efforts.

    Highlights of the season were also observed, including the $5,000 raised for charity (Kickstart for Kids and the McGrath Foundation), the match against the Victorian Blind Cricket Association and of course the match against The Pinnacle Hotel (our win!).

    Joe “Lonely” Miller-Norman ended up taking out the Best & Fairest Award on a count back, after initially polling the same number of votes as Pup, though receiving more 3 votes for the games he played in.

    Bad luck to Pup, though he has years to exact revenge.

    Bad luck also to Ed, who now has to listen to Lonely bang on about this win, as well as the “Mighty Teal“.

    Other winners for the evening included:

    • Most Runs AND Most Wickets: Ed
    • Best Player at the Big Day Not Out: Robbo
    • Worst Player at the Big Day Not Out: Phantom (also picked up the award for the most runs against in an over; 28)
    • The Sledgehammer Award for Sensitivity: J Rod
    • The Zoe Goss Award for being dismissed by a female: Emu
    • The J Rod Death Bowling Award: Curto (for being hit for 14 runs off 3 balls to lose the game with an over left)
    • The Bruce Reid Award for Batting: The Rev

    Thanks everyone for a great season, here’s looking to season 2014/15.

  • Sandwiched in between all those Christmas parties, the real highlight of the year was the Quokkas 2013 presentation evening. Despite a few last minute dropouts – you know who you are – a record attendance saw MC Skip chair proceedings on the review of those rarest of events, a Quokka winning season.

    Award winners on the night:

    • T20 Award  – The Mantis for services rendered
    • Quokkette Award for best in field – Lord Faggy Frumkin Jr for services to ladies
    • The Andrew Smithers champagne moment – Arunav for 108* and retiring before he beat Skip’s all time club record
    • The Egg Bravery Award – Nicola for heroics in the face of some tough Aussie mental pressure during the Ashes

    MC Skip


    Slick and The Voice favour sartorial elegance over a tan


    The Attack enjoys his own annecdote


    Mantis looking dapper


    Arunav’s acceptance speech as long as his innings


    Quokkarette Award presented by kylie


    Quokkette Award winner Faggy shows his victory face


    Most Losingest Quokka Captain ever, Snoop Robby Rob accepts his cap


    Never interrupt Mr Saucisson mid-sausage

    The main award of the season went down to the last game with 5 (Five!) Quokkas in the running for The Rev. Tom the Yak finally took home the shield after leading the Quokkas in wickets and some fine innings with the bat also. Commiserations to Evil Dave, Mr Saucisson, Conan the Destroyer and Faggy Frumkin Jr who were all in with a chance in the most open competition ever

    Tom receives The Rev

    Tom receives The Rev

    Thanks to all the Quokkas and Quokkettes who made it a memorable evening

  • This is what the ladies have been waiting for, a Quokka event that doesn’t involve sitting around watching Quokkas making fools of themselves….. Wait a minute, this is a Quokka social, there is bound to be some tomfoolery.

    And the Quokkas weren’t too foolish in the field this year, a winning season for the first time in Skipper’s memory.

    This is when we find out the answers to the big questions:

    • Will Faggie hold onto the Best and Fairest? Doubtful
    • Will Verger still have gout? Probable
    • Will Slick get the snake suit out? Possible
    • Will Conan wear a bowtie, Qu’est-ce que c’est ? Definitely

    Date: Saturday 7th Dec
    Venue: The Queen & Artichoke, Great Portland St
    Time: 7.30 for 8pm sit down

    Dress code: Jackets, ties and fancy dresses for the Aussies (and ladies)

    Any questions, give Skip a shout.

    ps Will send more venue details out near the time.
    pps Faggie, please give Skip the trophy back.

  • Following on from Rowdy and Gladys’ dramatic tied B&F award, we are proud to bring you some imagery from the big day (not, not out):

    Emu & ...?

    Dutchy, Phantom, Rowdy and Curto looking thrilled to be at the event. Dutchy may be looking at something else. Photo is as well centred as Curto.

    Rowdy, pictured here drinking from the furry Quokka cup

    The Skinny Dog

    Emu Waterhouse laments putting his house on The Rev getting at least 1 vote

    Morts celebrates his "Mike Hussey" award for taking one for the team, Cupsy agrees

    The Rev receives his Judas award for helping take the Prince Patrick to the BDNO final

    Big Dog tells his disbelieving fans about his 8 votes

    Rowdy celebrating wildly after taking home the batting award, best batting performance award and B&F

  • This Star Wars Day saw the Quokkas head to The Brandon Hotel for the 3rd annual Gownlows presentation night.  All the Quokkas were there bar Alex and Radar, who were pre-occupied with some sort of ‘other’ entertainment in Western Australia.  Rumours abound.

    With 12 rounds of voting available this season, its was always going to be an interesting race to the B&F finish line, and so it proved with Gladys and Rowdy tying on 10 votes each for the famed broken bat.  Thankfully, the bat was in good hands at the Emu residence & has had a handle installed as well as been given a good clean.  It seems Emu does some of his best work in the off-season. Rowdy gave a touching speech, reminding us all of how bad we are as cricketers, before handing over to Gladys for more of the same.  Truly deserving winners, both.

    The other major award winners included:

    • The Christopher Reeve Award (for use of legs when batting) – J Rod
    • The Chimney Award (for incessant smoking during games) – Cupsy
    • The Mike Hussey Award (for taking one for the team) – Morts
    • The Dwayne Leverock Award (for best catch) – Sam Curtin
    • The Max Nichols Award (for best dummy spit) – Dutchy (beating out The Big Dog and the Curtin brothers)
    • The Darragh O’Donovan Award (for bravery) – Alex (beating out The Big Dog himself and Curto)
    • Best Bowling Performance – Pup
    • Most Wickets – Ed
    • Most Runs – Rowdy

    Thanks to everyone for a great season, photos of the night to follow


  • A fine complement of Quokkas and Quokkettes descended on the The Chapel in Edgware road for the annual review of the season. A hugely enjoyable evening was enjoyed by all as we heard tales of daring do and disaster on the field in equal measure, drank and ate copiously and displayed some fine whiff-whaff skills. Binman even managed to find some posh quiche. After much deliberation from the prize committees, the 2012 awards were presented to the following worthy winners:

    T20 award: The Attack for some consistantly punishing hitting (absent so we quoffed his award)

    Quokkette Award: Snoop Robby Rob for bribing the Quokkettes with fine wine and food at his birthday party at Lords

    Egg Bravery Award: Slick for putting his body on the line in opening the batting against some quicks on Tour

    Andrew Smither’s Champagne Moment: The Gymnast for THAT catch at Wantage

    And in the main event of the evening Skip was delighted to hand the Rev Best & Fairest trophy over to Faggy for the first time, pipping Evil Dave and Skip himself to the title. Mr Fagberg has enjoyed a fine season in which he topped the batting and bowling figures, and more than several times provided the Quokkas only major resistance with willow in hand. Perhaps he might shut up about not winning it in 2011 now.

    Thanks to the Skip and Faggy for organising the night and if anyone has any other photos send them to The Egg and I’ll add them

    Tags: , , ,

  • Once again, the gloom of Melbourne’s winter was broken up by the Quokkas Gownlow evening, celebrating the season that was an the performances that made it.

    In the regal setting of Atticus Finch’s barbecue area, the Quokkas and Quokettes sat enthralled as the review of the season was recalled and votes counted for each match.

    Between reviews, individual honours were given out for particularly notable efforts, including:

    • The Shane Tuck Award (for not being as good as your Dad): Pup
    • The Antibiotics Award (for not being able to catch anything): Radar
    • The Champagne moment (for palming a ball over the boundary for 6): Ed
    • The Passion Pop moment (for drinking a bottle of passion pop): Dutchy
    • The Mick Jagger Award (for best all rounder): Robbo
    • The Leon Davis Award (for worst performance at the BDNO): Emu
    • The Best player at the BDNO: Big Dog
    • Most Wickets: Rev
    • Most Runs: Emu
    • B&F: Emu

    Other highlights of the evening included:

    • Emus girlfriend being given the floor to receive his “most runs” award, then using the opportunity to complain about the way he drones on about his own game;
    • Emu getting emotional at receiving the B&F, Rob Seddon (now nicknamed ‘Phantom’) responding considerately by handing out hankies to everyone;
    • Some random dude at the bar knicking Big Dogs award and ‘hiding’ it in  the toilet;
    • Curto chasing the random dude down the street, confronting him about it, bringing him back to the bar and making him apologise in front of everyone;
    • The bar staff for pulling the trophy out  of the toilet;
    • Emu slipping in his cowboy boots to fall on his ‘most runs’ trophy – and break it; and
    • Raising $100 for Action This Day

    Many thanks to all concerned and well done to all the winners.

  • In a year in which the Quokkas have been in the eye of paid journalists in all places from Serbia to Melbourne, spreading the good word of social cricket and its benefits, the tabloids have once again been muck-raking out the back of Quokkas HQ and come up with the following story to cast doubt on the LiV Quokkas incumbent B&F: Bad Boy.


    Legal advice is being sought and an official announcement from QHQ is expected asap.

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