• Match Facts: Sunday, February 5th, 2017

    Time: 11am

    The Big Picture:

    This is the 6th or 7th time the Quokkas have appeared in the Big Day Not Out (BDNO), which says about as much about our record-keeping as it does our blind perseverance.

    Aside from providing the recalcitrant with an avenue to enjoying social cricket on a semi-regular basis, this event is the jewel in the Yarra Pub Cricket Associations crown, a knock out tournament for 16 of the 18 teams in the league that can be bothered showing up.

    The Quokkas have never got close to the finals of the day, though The Rev did help the Prince Pat get to the final by filling in, taking a wicket and then spending the rest of the day playing kick-to-kick in the outfield.

    This year offers the annual glimmer of hope though, with a lucky 11am start time at the oval on Alfred Crescent, the most boundary friendly of grounds. This works in The Quokkas favour, given their lack of ability to catch a ball and the relatively high number of boundaries they have hit this season.

    The first, and possibly only, game is against the Rose, whom the Quokkas put in a good showing against earlier in the season. If the Quokkas are able to produce some efficient overs like Snipper, Jay, Big Dog and Radar did last time (4, 4.3, 4.7 and 6 RPO) did last time, they should be in with a chance of making it through to the next round.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas have won one match this season, the first for 2016/17 against The Terminus in a blizzard at Ramsden Street. Its possible they aren’t any good at Summer sports. With this summer being what it has, they may be in with a chance.

    The Rose have won at least one game.

    In the Spotlight:

    J Rod is an early omission from the team for motivation issues, to be replaced by Pup for his first game of the season.

    A Quokka veteran with 33 total appearances, Pup is also something of a BDNO specialist. Not necessarily for anything on the field, but he usually turns up.

    Tuesday takes the reigns of the team after winning the ‘Best Player in the BDNO’ award last year. No doubt relishing the opportunity of starting a game of cricket at 11am that could be over by 11:10am, the man in the ink has no doubt been strategizing the best routes out of North Fitzroy on a Sunday afternoon all week.

    Team News:

    J Rod has found something else to do, which means Pup walks into the side.

    At the time of writing, The Quokkas have 12 available for this game, which means we will be able to field specialist batting and fielding sides (if everyone shows).

    Bowl’en voted for an afternoon of minding the Esky but Captain Tuesday had other ideas and he will be in the batting side.

    The XII (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Chef
    2. Radar
    3. Dutchy
    4. Local
    5. Snipper
    6. Tuesday (c)
    7. Ed
    8. Jay
    9. Nickname AW
    10. Big Dog
    11. Bowl’en
    12. Pup

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The pitch at Alfred Crescent Oval has seen better days, with a re-carpeting job on the asto-turf cover seemingly started and aborted after they got just short of a good length at one end. Unfortunately, that’s the batting end, so gives bowlers plenty to aim at.

    The BOM is predicting a top of 25 degrees with rain, so the Duckworth Lewis system may come in to save the day.

    Stats & Trivia:

    • Ed and Pup have played in the most BDNOs for The Quokkas, 6, a battle for supremacy that will be decided by age and interest;
    • Boundary hitting is the key for BDNO batting and The Quokkas leaders are Dutchy (75% of runs through boundaries), Chef (71%), Local (70%) and Radar (67%)
    • Efficiency is the key to bowling in the BDNO and the Quokkas leaders are Snipper (3.3), Dutchy (4.5), Jay (5.5) and Radar (6.0)
  • From Captain Tuesday….

    An overcast gloomy day greeted me Sunday morning coupled with a very uneasy feeling filling my stomach. As I donned the captains jacket all I could hear was Rev’s words echoing through my mind ‘ we make it to semi final every year’ no pressure at all I thought with some of the boys showing strong batting performances in the nets the day before and Snipper giving me a fairly sizeable bruise on my leg… what could go wrong??

    Squad

    This. This as your team could go wrong.

    Enter game 1 V The Dan.  I have never seen a team that at 8.30 in the morning look so fresh and work with such efficiency to set up their fence, carpet and umbrellas… It took us 3 blokes to put together 1 VB umbrella.  Revs words came flooding back even louder now and by the time the coin was tossed in the air it was all I could hear.

    Heads was the call and batting seemed like the logical choice. Chasing anything with 10 overs is never fun. The big guns were assembled at the top of the order. Emu abused the new orange ball while Dutchy abused me on his way out after facing 1 ball. Emu retired quickly followed by Robbo who never seems to disappoint. I could hardly find the middle of the bat but somehow clawed my way to 23 and Snipper chopped on to see us 3 retired and 2 out for not many. Chef served up some brutal shots which helped us limp to 84. Not a bad score I thought walking off, going to take some getting.

    WRONG!

    The men in mustard and black bow ties decided that morning tea was coming early on Sunday. The first 4 overs cost us the best part of 52 runs for only 2 wickets. A great catch by Radar behind the stumps got us all up and about and Dutchy took a ripper on the boundary but only 9 of his team mates ran to celebrate. Robbo was making sure his BMW was ok after being hit a few balls before!

    The Dan reached the target a few balls before the 7th over. I heard someone say it was the shortest stint as a Quokka captain. Not sure if it’s a positive or a negative. The Dan looked damaging all day as we watched on and were well deserved winners.

    IMG_0476

    The Captain leading from the front

  • First before any captains report, let me just go through how I was bowled by a woman.

    With that explained, I must say I was disappointed to see the Royal Oak field some ring-ins from Malvern Valley take batting positions 2,3 and 4. However, with Robbo and Pup ringing bells, we were able to keep a run rate low. That was until Ed came onto bowl. He bowled a really good toppie, but the five other balls, well, I didn’t worry about my car, the hits went over into houses.
    One ring in retired, JRod came onto bowl a wicket maiden, Derby bowled tight then Joe bowled smoke, taking pegs on two occasions.
    We kept them to 66 until we found out Klutzy the Keeper dropped the ball on the helmet. Make that 71.
    The chase started in earnest, Cupsy and Robbo slamming it about.
    “Best hundred dollars I spent” was Robbo, not referring to a trip to Bangkok but to the 2″9′ Gray-Nicolls Powerbow. As a general rule, in cricket, if it hits a tree half way up, it’s a six.
    With two retirees, Emu went in, and in true BDNO form, went out cheaply. Curto and Ed came together and just when the equation got tight, Curto saw off a ring in and a new bowler came into the attack.  He was described by Curto as “what you could wish for” and Rev described him as the “worst bowler I have ever seen with perfect tennis ball bounce” or to explain better; Ed hit him for a leg side six! Curto’s innings was 1..646 and the semi final awaited.

    The semi final occurred after 17 hours of waiting. We were a little rusty and were pelted about the park. Robbo, Joe and Shotgun all felt the pain. After five tough Tramway wicket less overs, we batted with Joe and Dutchy opening up to hopefully get near a 150 that we would need. Some big hits came off but too often boundary riders cut off fours.
    Joe skyballed and Dutchy went, not after some lusty cut shots! Then Local Derby came in and played some of the most abstract shots available…for sixes! Meanwhile, Cupsy had Jekyll and Hyded into Alastair Cook in the last Ashes, series swotting, cursing and missing everything. Relief came in all three poles being disturbed. I was at the non-strikers end and as he heard the death rattle he looked at me with the “there goes the never been out record”
    I was in again and made maybe a dozen (reverse sweeps are so 2012) but made the error of driving and calling before it beat the bowler. He dragged it back and Pup was run out.
    Salvation was to come from Robbo with his Bow of Power, blasting an unbeaten 24. I happily sat up the other end watching slog sweeps and pull shots. Rev came in briefly with his new bat too, and from the thick edge for 2, he knew his purchase was special as well.

    As for the final 5 overs, let’s look at how the Tramways team saw it. They slapped us around in the first 5 overs and bowled tight to the Napier. They deserved a grand final. Surely, the Quokkas won’t let these guys make 69 of 5 overs? Emu and Pup went all out attacking with a ring field and slips and went for 7 and 8.
    Surely 54 off 3 overs won’t happen?
    Fresh from baby duties, the Phantom came on to bowl. Cupsy successfully showed why he is not a vice-captain by convincing me that Phantom could be the X Factor. Barefoot, he bowled 6 short pitched mediums that were pogoed. One nearly went over the house on Alfred Crescent. It hit the second floor guttering.  661646 equals 29. At one point the batsman walked off, only to be told he was on 19* so he returned to bat, hitting another 6, then walking off.

    Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 11.05.01 AM

    Screenshot of Alfred crescent oval, Alfred Crescent and newly damaged houses adjoining the oval – thanks again Quokkas!

     

     

    Returning to JRod, the death over king, Napier ploughed their way to finally tying with Tramways with one ball remaining. JRod bowled a decent enough OFF Stump ball, kissing the edge, Curto howled to his left and snatched it! Only for the ball to jar loose on landing because he has Mr.Burns arms. Napier were ecstatic, Tramways were gutted, musing an opinion about the Quokkas that many others had formed before.
    The real winner was the President of the league because the ar$eclown had no contingency in case of a tie.

    Overall, the finals summed up our season; batting is a feast or famine, bowling swings from very good to very poor and when switched on, fielding is awesome, but switched off, it is Tufnell-esque.

    Thanks to Rev and Ed for getting the show on the road and to all the guys for being upbeat even though with short games I couldn’t bat everyone as much as usual.

    As Cupsy said, nothing was better than watching the three ring ins for the Royal Oak with oversized bags trudge away first round losers wondering how the Quokkas rolled them.

  • An indifferent season for the Quokkas culminated in the BDNO, where we once again took part in the triangular preliminary rounds against the Prince Patrick and the Pinnacle. Following last seasons semi final placing, expectations were high (and misguided as it would turn out)

    News of the late withdrawal of Bad Boy due to injury filtered through the camp in the morning. The injury is yet to be determined, but early diagnosis is that it is liver related and should be overcome by round 1 of next season. Fortunately Pup was on standby to fill in the designated bowler role
    In a season first all team members arrived at the ground early! Whilst the captain arrived on time. We bowled first and Robbo, Phantom, Pup, Paris and Emu did well to restrict the Prince Patrick (eventual finalists) to 2/40 off the first 5 overs. Unfortunately the Pinnacle could not do as good a job and the Prince Patrick completed their 10 overs amassing a healthy 95 runs which was our target to chase.
    Rowdy (24*) and Gladys (19) got the Quokkas off to a sound start and at the 5 over mark we were on target at 1/48. It was then when the Quokka batting depth would be tested and if we were giving grades it would be something around a D- as the wickets began to tumble. Dutchy (15), Emu (5), Andy (2), Robbo (0), Radar (2) offered little resistance. Ed (9) chimed in with a boundary late in the innings, as did Big Dog (3*) with a couple of leg byes but it was to no avail. Quokkas 9/84 and effectively out of the BDNO.
    We were required to bowl our final (inconsequential) 5 overs to the Pinnacle promptly as the matches were running over time and the organisers fearful that the final would be played out in darkness. Rev then proceeded to bowl a ‘spell’ consisting of 16 balls (10 wides), however only conceded 2 runs as the batsmen appeared to be bamboozled by the Rev’s lack of coordination and control
    All bowlers bowled well without luck, the only wicket takers being Paris, Ed and whoever bowled the ball that Cruiser caught one handed at point (I have asked 5 players who the bowler was and got 5 different answers – well bowled to either Robbo or Phantom or Emu or Pup or Andre Nel). It must also be mentioned that Rev picked up a wicket…but not for the Quokkas. In what can only be described as a Chris Gayle like ‘gun for hire’ / ‘mercenary’ maneuver Rev filled in for the Prince Patrick who were 2 short and bowled an over much to the disgust of the Quokka faithful on the boundary. The level of disgust was made known over the boundary line in no uncertain terms (Morts, Dutchy and Ed leading the charge on that front). Rev went on to represent the Prince Patrick in the final where they were defeated by the Hated Dan
    Special thanks to Ed and Kathleen who managed the bar and ground all morning and afternoon, as well as Rev for his efforts throughout the day. Morts’ sledging both on and off the field was exemplary, Dutchy’s was not so good following Big Murphy from the Newry threatening to punch his head in if he uttered another smart remark. Although crude and not in the in spirit of the day, Big Murph’s threat was adhered to
    As we look ahead to the Presentation Night it should be brought to the attention of the award-ers that correspondence from Leon Davis has been received and the crux of it was this “expect legal recourse should Emu be given an award named after myself again this season as none of my grand final performances were anywhere near as bad as what Emu has dished up in his last 3 BDNO innings”. I concede that the correspondence was hand written, the smudging of the ink suggests it was scripted by a left hander
    Rowdy 87*
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, March 17th

    Edinburgh Gardens, Fitzroy

    From 9am…Quokkas on from 11

     

    Big Picture:

    The Big Day Not Out (BDNO) could just as easily be called the Bittersweet Day Not Out (BDNO), as it marks the end of another summer season of social cricket and sledging of teammates while providing a great day out.  Once again the Quokkas will be hopping off to hibernate for the Winter after Sunday, with only the odd training session on sunny days drawing them into the light over the next 6 months.

    There is a record number of teams (14) in this years round-robin tournament, which has resulted in the day starting earlier than ever before.  The Napier and The Rose are amongst those kicking off the dew at the unbeknownst hour of 9am this Sunday.  Given that the team from The Rose was still waking and struggling to the ground at 1pm when the Quokkas played them this season, it should be interesting to see what sort of condition they arrive in.

    The Quokkas have drawn The Pinnacle Hotel and The Prince for their first match, starting at a more responsible time of 11am at their most familiar of grounds; Alfred Crescent.  The Quokkas were able to account for the Pinnacle earlier in the season thanks to some big hitting from The Big Dog and Curto (believe it or not) and only lost to The Prince by 1 wicket, with Curto taking one in the snozz and the Big Dog being chewed up like bamboo by The Panda.

    Big Dogs Nightmare

    The modified format of the BDNO round-robin stages does play to the Quokkas strengths (or should I say; “strength”), as the limited number of big-hitting batsmen only have 10 overs to stick around, which is more than enough for most.  Further, the 10 overs of bowling means that poor performers only get 1 chance.

    This worked so well last year that The Quokkas actually made the semi finals.  What happened next on the field wasn’t worth repeating, though the squad and extended families all stuck-around to enjoy the cricket and each others company for the last time that Summer.  Apart from The Rev, he went home to a baby that just doesn’t seem to sleep.  His Mother calls it Karma.

     

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are coming off a mixed run of form, though plenty of cricket, so should be adequately familiar with the rudiments of the game come Sunday.  While it hasn’t been the most successful of seasons for the Quokkas, they have been close on most occasions and played more games this season than ever before (12!), which has also enabled the squad to gel (well, we pretty-much know each others names, apart from Dutchy who can’t seem to remember his own) and get *some* experience bowling, batting and fielding.

    There is a fairly even competition for the Quokkas bowling award this season and an obscene number of players who are nearing the 100-run mark for the season.  The trick now is to pull it all together on the day.

    The Quokkas Solution

     

    In the spotlight:

    Emu has enjoyed a season with the Quokkas with more ups and downs than the roller coaster at Luna Park.  The Quokkas have had as many passengers in the team too.  After leading all scorers last season & averaging 97.5 with the bat, he has fallen away in 2012-13, possibly believing his own hype that he is now a “fast bowler”.  The big Mu had a Barrry Crocker in last seasons BDNO, taking home the Leon Davis award for worst performance under pressure.  He will be looking to do a Gloria Estefan and “turn the beat around”.

    Similarly to Emu, Dutchy was most unfortunate at last years BDNO to be run out for a diamond duck.  The Dutchman is in form with the bat this season and will be looking to strike anything in his hitting zone out of the park.

    The Big Dog was the Quokkas player of the BDNO last year, with crucial wickets and a handy batting partnership with Ed in the semi final.  A big game player, “the Dog” will be barking this Sunday.

     

    Team News:

    An injury cloud is hovering over the team, with Pup and Cupsy both in doubt.  A sure blow to the men in maroon with one of their all-time leading wicket-takers and this seasons “find” big losses on the seasons big day.  Further; Mo and J Bomb are out with family commitments while Paris, Phantom, Robbo, Rev, Gladys and Big Dog are ignoring their families for the last time this summer to get out of the house and smash some cans.

    Another product of The Quokkas parenting school

    There is sure to be some competition over who will get to wear the gloves on the day, with no less than 6 of the squad having performed the duties behind the pegs at some point. Not only does this allow one the chance to sledge ones own teammates without pause, it also provides a license to not run anywhere.

    1. Ed
    2. Darragh
    3. Phantom
    4. Paris
    5. Robbo
    6. Dutchy
    7. Radar
    8. Curto
    9. Emu
    10. Morts
    11. J Rod
    12. Gladys
    13. Rowdy (c)
    14. Rev

     

     

  • From Captain Rowdy…

    The Quokkas did battle with Tramways and Sentido Funf in a ‘manaja twa’ of round robin pub cricket

    Whispers were that 75 to 80 was a par score so we aimed for 100 just to be safe and fell only 2 short with 6/98 upon completion of our 10 overs

    The salt and pepper opening partnership of Gladys and Rowdy proved fruitful with both retiring in the 20s. After bench pressing and bicep curling his way to 195 home and away season runs, Emu lost his off stump for a duck – as Jake the Muss said in Once Were Warriors “too much weights, not enough speedwork”

    The shock of losing our premier batsmen cheaply didn’t faze the middle order as Curto (20) and Dutchy (16) pushed the score into the 90s with Rob Seddon icing the cake with a boundary off the final delivery

    Robbo (0/11) the anaesthetist took the new ball with the task of putting the opening pair from the Sentido Funf to sleep. Bad Boy (0/7), Rev ‘(0/9), Ed (1/2) and Big Dog (2/2) all bowled well in our first 5 overs and were backed up with our best fielding display of the season. Gladys’s diving catch and Rev’s overhead mark on the boundary line the highlights. I’ve excluded Big Dog’s 2 wickets from the highlights, as this level of performance is expected from the the clubs leading wicket taker 

    Pup (0/14) led the attack in our second 5 over stint to the Tramways and was backed up by Mo (0/8), Rob Seddon (0/6), Snoop (1/4) and Rowdy (0/3) who all executed to plan. The fielding yet again the highlight with a sharp catch from Bad Boy (amazing what 8 hours sleep and a night off the sauce can do for a man) and Dutchy’s patrolling of deep cover coupled with his attempts to break Curto’s fingers with bullets from the boundary

    With the job done of restricting the opposition to a lesser run rate than that required to achieve the 98 posted we could only look on and watch the final 5 overs between Tramways and Sentido Funf with fingers crossed. The final overs were tighter than our playing shirts and like a Jazzron innings, it was hard to watch. Fortunately the result went our way and the Quokka’s were deserving winners through to the Semi

    I will try and write the report for the Semi v Newry in a similar style to the match itself – brief

    The salt and pepper combo both fell in the first over. Emu strode to the crease still needing 5 runs for the elusive 200 season runs, the situation had the hallmarks of Bradman’s final innings at The Oval in 1948. The 50 strong crowd waited with baited breath, would the champ bring up his milestone on the way to a match saving innings? No, in keeping with the Bradman theme the Emu fell cheaply. This has resulted in a petition being started (allegedly by Dutchy) to have him removed from the Australian Coat of Arms

    With the Quokka’s slumping to 3/3 and the big guns out, the pressure was on. Pressure as they say makes diamonds…and Dutchy saluted to bring up the first diamond duck of the season. Wickets continued to tumble….and tumble. JBomb (15) and Ed (18no) providing the only resistance to what turned out to be the Premier attack of the BDNO. Quokka’s finshed 9/48 from the allotted 10 overs which proved to be 10 to 12 dangerous balls short of what was needed in a cut throat Semi

    The Newry made light work of the target and notched up the 49 required in 4.1 overs. Special mention to Rev who went for 22 off his over, a few ‘possum killer’ deliveries that landed in all areas of the surrounding parkland

    Despite the disappointing end to the tournament for the Quokka’s the overall result was a success to finish unofficially 3rd in the 12 team competition, going down to the eventual Premier

    Congratulations to all players on the day and over the course of the season

    Thank you to all the helpers and supporters

    Big thank you to Serena for a season of scoring and supply of culinary delights

    See you all Presentation Night, I’ll bring the wheelbarrow for Emu

    Rowdy out

  • Match Facts

    The Big Day Not Out

    25.03.2012

    Quokkas begin @ 12:15

    Edinburgh Gardens, North Fitzroy

    The Big Picture

    And so another season of the YPCA comes to a close with only the showcase fixture, the Big Day Not Out (BDNO), yet to be played.  For those unfamiliar with the day, it involves 12 teams from the league who battle through a round-robin format to find a final winner.  As there is no league table, this is a bit like our version of the FA Cup.

    Being a new team to the league last year, the Quokkas had to field a combined side (with the Royal Derby) but will be a stand-alone side this time around.  The excitement among the ranks has been palpable, with an unprecedented number putting their hands up to play AND turning up to train.

    This excitement may need to be put in context, as the Quokkas have drawn Sentido Funf and the Tramways Hotel in the first round.  Sentido Funf won the tournament last year, though the Quokkas were able to overcome them for a 2-wicket win earlier this year.  The Tramways hotel overcame the Quokkas easily in a tense match earlier this year that will be remembered more for the ‘junkie’ incident than it will for the cricket played.

    The Quokkas are yet to get past the first round in this tournament, and being allocated the management of the Alfred Crescent Bar for the day, will be busy regardless.

    Form Guide

    Quokkas: WLL-L

    Watch out for:

    Emu – After dominating the scoring for the Quokkas this season, we are all looking forward to seeing what ‘the mew’ can do in front of the crowds in the shortened format;

    Rowdy – Has been handed the captains arm band for the day, seeing as though we probably need someone who knows *something* about cricket.  More interesting will be seeing if he says something/anything.

    Team News:

    With almost every player who has turned out for the Quokkas this season putting their hand up for a game, team management have the advantage of fielding  specialist batting and bowling fielding sides.

    Batting: Gladys, Emu, J Bomb, Rowdy, Dutchy, Snoop, Curto, Rob Seddon, Jazzron, Robbo, Ed

    Bowling: Robbo, Bad Boy, Rev, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Rowdy, Snoop

    ‘Keeper: Curto

    Fielders: Dutchy, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Gladys, Rowdy, Snoop

   

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