2012 Fixtures

With work, holidays and future Quokka childcare taking up valuable Sundays from our existing players, and with the Shandyman scheduled to defect back to his motherland mid-season, the Quokkas are on the lookout for more players for 2012. If you appreciate the social aspect of the game, can play cricket hold a bat the right way round and have a passing acknowledgement of the rules* then the Skip is after you.

Our first Sunday game is versus the RV Strollers in Greenford this week and with no Ashes or T20 action so far this year due to inclement environmental conditions, fear of falling to the mighty Mellan from batting rustiness is high. A maiden win for the Quokkas in this fixture last year gave us a good start to the season and any opportunity to wind up the highly-strung French surely shouldn’t be missed.

Team selection for Strollers thus far:

• Egg
• Skip
• Smithers
• Fagberg
• Evil Dave
• Rage
• Gymnast
• Tom the Yank

We still have a few spots open on the team so contact the Skipper if you fancy a game either this weekend or later in the season here.

*not strictly necessary

EDIT: So much for the preview. Despite the nice weather this weekend, match is off due to waterlogged pitch. Bugger.

Our off-spinner, Ed, and wicket-keeper, Curto, dazzled the crowd with some up-beat rhythm and blues, while the Rev was able to extract over four thousand dollars from the crowd as the evenings auctioneer.

Ed and Curto give it some

At the time of writing, the night had raised over nine thousand dollars, which will go a long way to supporting the charity in Kenya.  Click here for more details on Action This Day & stay tuned for more information on our future fundraising efforts, including our trip to the Kookaburra Academy in Kenya!

The Quokkas did battle with Tramways and Sentido Funf in a ‘manaja twa’ of round robin pub cricket

Whispers were that 75 to 80 was a par score so we aimed for 100 just to be safe and fell only 2 short with 6/98 upon completion of our 10 overs

The salt and pepper opening partnership of Gladys and Rowdy proved fruitful with both retiring in the 20s. After bench pressing and bicep curling his way to 195 home and away season runs, Emu lost his off stump for a duck – as Jake the Muss said in Once Were Warriors “too much weights, not enough speedwork”

The shock of losing our premier batsmen cheaply didn’t faze the middle order as Curto (20) and Dutchy (16) pushed the score into the 90s with Rob Seddon icing the cake with a boundary off the final delivery

Robbo (0/11) the anaesthetist took the new ball with the task of putting the opening pair from the Sentido Funf to sleep. Bad Boy (0/7), Rev ‘(0/9), Ed (1/2) and Big Dog (2/2) all bowled well in our first 5 overs and were backed up with our best fielding display of the season. Gladys’s diving catch and Rev’s overhead mark on the boundary line the highlights. I’ve excluded Big Dog’s 2 wickets from the highlights, as this level of performance is expected from the the clubs leading wicket taker 

Pup (0/14) led the attack in our second 5 over stint to the Tramways and was backed up by Mo (0/8), Rob Seddon (0/6), Snoop (1/4) and Rowdy (0/3) who all executed to plan. The fielding yet again the highlight with a sharp catch from Bad Boy (amazing what 8 hours sleep and a night off the sauce can do for a man) and Dutchy’s patrolling of deep cover coupled with his attempts to break Curto’s fingers with bullets from the boundary

With the job done of restricting the opposition to a lesser run rate than that required to achieve the 98 posted we could only look on and watch the final 5 overs between Tramways and Sentido Funf with fingers crossed. The final overs were tighter than our playing shirts and like a Jazzron innings, it was hard to watch. Fortunately the result went our way and the Quokka’s were deserving winners through to the Semi

I will try and write the report for the Semi v Newry in a similar style to the match itself – brief

The salt and pepper combo both fell in the first over. Emu strode to the crease still needing 5 runs for the elusive 200 season runs, the situation had the hallmarks of Bradman’s final innings at The Oval in 1948. The 50 strong crowd waited with baited breath, would the champ bring up his milestone on the way to a match saving innings? No, in keeping with the Bradman theme the Emu fell cheaply. This has resulted in a petition being started (allegedly by Dutchy) to have him removed from the Australian Coat of Arms

With the Quokka’s slumping to 3/3 and the big guns out, the pressure was on. Pressure as they say makes diamonds…and Dutchy saluted to bring up the first diamond duck of the season. Wickets continued to tumble….and tumble. JBomb (15) and Ed (18no) providing the only resistance to what turned out to be the Premier attack of the BDNO. Quokka’s finshed 9/48 from the allotted 10 overs which proved to be 10 to 12 dangerous balls short of what was needed in a cut throat Semi

The Newry made light work of the target and notched up the 49 required in 4.1 overs. Special mention to Rev who went for 22 off his over, a few ‘possum killer’ deliveries that landed in all areas of the surrounding parkland

Despite the disappointing end to the tournament for the Quokka’s the overall result was a success to finish unofficially 3rd in the 12 team competition, going down to the eventual Premier

Congratulations to all players on the day and over the course of the season

Thank you to all the helpers and supporters

Big thank you to Serena for a season of scoring and supply of culinary delights

See you all Presentation Night, I’ll bring the wheelbarrow for Emu

Rowdy out

The Big Day Not Out

25.03.2012

Quokkas begin @ 12:15

Edinburgh Gardens, North Fitzroy

The Big Picture

And so another season of the YPCA comes to a close with only the showcase fixture, the Big Day Not Out (BDNO), yet to be played.  For those unfamiliar with the day, it involves 12 teams from the league who battle through a round-robin format to find a final winner.  As there is no league table, this is a bit like our version of the FA Cup.

Being a new team to the league last year, the Quokkas had to field a combined side (with the Royal Derby) but will be a stand-alone side this time around.  The excitement among the ranks has been palpable, with an unprecedented number putting their hands up to play AND turning up to train.

This excitement may need to be put in context, as the Quokkas have drawn Sentido Funf and the Tramways Hotel in the first round.  Sentido Funf won the tournament last year, though the Quokkas were able to overcome them for a 2-wicket win earlier this year.  The Tramways hotel overcame the Quokkas easily in a tense match earlier this year that will be remembered more for the ‘junkie’ incident than it will for the cricket played.

The Quokkas are yet to get past the first round in this tournament, and being allocated the management of the Alfred Crescent Bar for the day, will be busy regardless.

Form Guide

Quokkas: WLL-L

Watch out for:

Emu – After dominating the scoring for the Quokkas this season, we are all looking forward to seeing what ‘the mew’ can do in front of the crowds in the shortened format;

Rowdy – Has been handed the captains arm band for the day, seeing as though we probably need someone who knows *something* about cricket.  More interesting will be seeing if he says something/anything.

Team News:

With almost every player who has turned out for the Quokkas this season putting their hand up for a game, team management have the advantage of fielding  specialist batting and bowling fielding sides.

Batting: Gladys, Emu, J Bomb, Rowdy, Dutchy, Snoop, Curto, Rob Seddon, Jazzron, Robbo, Ed

Bowling: Robbo, Bad Boy, Rev, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Rowdy, Snoop

‘Keeper: Curto

Fielders: Dutchy, Ed, Big Dog, Pup, Mo, Rob Seddon, Gladys, Rowdy, Snoop

With a first time captain/3^rd game veteran at the helm for yesterday’s game I reckon we could have been in trouble even before a ball was  bowled. How true was that!

In the interests of fairness some slight tinkering of the batting order meant that Ed & Gladys faced the ‘Tramways’ opening bowling attack spearheaded by a  quick skinny bloke wearing his mission brown cords from the 80s and his dessert boots. This skinny bloke along with his team mates bowled extremely well and chased every bloody ball without giving away too many runs. Ed & Gladys tried hard to pick the gaps but boundaries were few and far between. After Ed departed, Jazzron joined a gutsy Gladys who was  showing signs of injury after a nasty thigh muscle tear. At drinks we were 1/48 ish , with Gladys retiring on a well earned 29 after feeling the pinch. So as to try to increase the flow of runs we decided that ` Emu’ would fly in next for some quick runs.  A solid performance from Jazzron came to an end which left the Snoop & Emu in the middle to battle a very consistent and on line bowling attack. With Emu looking quite hungover , the boy from `The Hangover” Aka Bradley Cooper (Snoop) decided it was time to put a few over the fence, if that was possible with his 20 yr old County 747. Some good umpiring by Curto meant that Snoop didn’t get dismissed after a huge appeal for caught behind. Nothing registered on `snicko’.. The Snoop then lost his middle stump on 30 (not great for the average), which saw another hungover Bad Boy aka Lance Whitnall make his way to the wicket to join a tiring but ever reliable Emu with only 3 over’s remaining. Bad boy went cheaply , and this brought the big hitting Rowdy  to the crease to finish off our lacklustre innings with some lovely stroke making and a couple of boundaries. Emu once again made 30 not out to take his batting average to 85 and looking certain to fill his trophy cabinet come seasons end.

So after a disappointing 25 overs of batting the Quokkas had set Tramways a very easy task of chasing 128 runs.

Our bowling attack headed by the 3 R’s( Robbo, Radar,Rowdy) started quite well but for very little reward. They were scoring  a run ball which was all that was required. It wasn’t until Curto decided to  hand the gloves to Rowdy that things started to happen. We then saw some strike bowling from Big Dog, good catching from Mo and excellent quick hands from Rowdy that we took a few consecutive wickets. It seemed like the sleeping Quokkas had come to life and some urgency in the field meant there were run outs happening left right and centre. A game that we were never going to win seemed somehow winnable. However , this was short lived as Tramways steadied, kept their head and cruised past the target of 128 with about 3.5 overs to spare. Special mention to Ed, Robbo , Mo , Big Dog and Radar, who were all very good in the field. Oh , and not to forget  Curto who decided he wouldn’t come in to the middle to celebrate  wickets,  but rather chat to his brother on the boundary fence.

It was definitely a very flat performance by the Quokkas and one that we can only improve on. With some quality players on the sideline with injury, a full strength line up is just around the corner and hopefully so is  Quokka victory.

Thanks must go to Serena & Kathleen again for all their efforts yesterday in keeping the scoreboard ticking along and all that were involved in preparing the cookies, BBQ and drinks.

LiV Quokkas v Standard Hotel

From the mind of Emu…

Much like Edward Smith (don’t google it, he drove the titanic) I like to
think my Captaincy be judged by the highlights rather than the end result.

Put into the field by Needling Nick, the captain of the Sub-Standard
(because at 1:00 they had 9 blokes) it became clear that he was a little
bit precious in slagging off Luke Curtain for bringing an esky that
contained…water.

I could say that he was an anal retentive, medial job working control freak
with poor social skills whence combined with low sporting aptitude means he
treats Sunday cricket with a degree of pettiness usually reserved for
sociopaths who commit postal murders, but that would not be nice.

So, off to field in 36 degree odd heat we did start a little shaky. Their
top order was strong; which had Captain Emu scratching his head.
Fortunately, much like Celine Dion, you know they have to retire
eventually, but it doesn’t help you in the meantime. Most bowlers got some
treatment. Much like Robbo who went for 22 off one over. His revenge would
come.

Daniel “Ming” Grigg created some great tension, the boy from Torquay a
frugal threat (1 for 10 from 3 overs) Luke Curtain passing the gloves to
his brother and bowling two overs (1 for 9) was handy before drinks. Rowdy
also showed his volleyball skills; a perfect set saw him push a catch
neatly over the boundary. Classic.

Three gents contributed 113 so once they were not in operation, wickets
would fall. This was a chance for the swing of new guy JJ to come into
play. Pleased himself bowled well, upset he missed a diving effort. A few
then wickets tumbled as Emu finally found the line that saw Curto snaffle a
caught behind. Emu snagged a few more catches before new recruit Jarrod
seized on a ball and lobbed it in to the stumps to effect a timely run out.
His fielding, combined with Dutchy and JJ who were tireless on a hot day.
Gladys also bowled some peaches, showing his tricks to suppress the score
and take a wicket or two.

Chasing 200, the opening pair fared a little Indian, but when Matt “Gladys”
Curtain strolled it, it changed. He ended on 53, a great effort from Mister
Cricket, freed from pressure of work and kids. He watched Mo denied a
certain four via an outstretched boot then dismissed for 11, Emu depart
cheaply (still scored a six), but support arrived in Robbo (29 off 25)
including 3 consecutive 4s. Dutchy who rode some short pitched balls to
secure 22 and a very sullen Dan ‘I don’t run singles’ Grigg (24 runs)

By the time Luke Curtain arrived, new guy Jarrod ran himself out and new
guy JJ had taken a ball on the wrist, breaking his ulnar bone in his
forearm. How he batted on to hit two fours is another story. As was Big
Dog, who was unable to replicate his huge score of last bat and somehow
Dutchy forgot to pass him on the ceremonial Duck.  With some 35 runs
required in two and a half overs Gladys returned to smash the Labour in
Vain close, not before an incident between the before mentioned Sub
Standard captain. A dangerous ball bowled by Needling Nick and an angry
Curto saw umpire Emu mediate the situation like a Year 9 Girls Health and
Human development class.

Matt Curtain could do no more, holing out to Long On leaving Curto alone in
his teens (again) the team some 13 runs shy of the desired 200.

Epilogue:
*Dutchy  may have hurt his knee. Doubtful.
*JJ has had a plate inserted. His 8-month pregnant wife blames Luke.
Doubtful.
*Robbo is captain next week. Nice guy!
*Matt Curtain is class.
*Even with salad you can lose friends, as Needling Nick found

The three wise men came from the East(ern suburbs) in search of the new-born Messiah. The found something better on Heidelberg Road near the Clifton Hill overpass where they witnessed the advent of cricket incompetency as the Quokkas once again conspired to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The three were last seen holding a snag in bread and a can of Melbourne Bitter, gazing into the western evening sky and talking about a Rev?

Having opted to field in order to give opposition (the hated Dan!) a chance to find a spare public BBQ amongst the families and Xmas parties in Fairfield Park the Quokkas bowlers continued in the same wicketless way that they had finished the previous game. The opening pair of Bad Boy and Rev were accurate and although Radar and Mo gave away very few runs no early poles were disturbed. Marty made the breakthrough but the Dan were 1-60 at the drinks break.

There were a few choice pieces of advice given over the course of the day including ‘More catching & less drumming’ for our ARIA nominated muso. But the one that got the Quokka fielders chortling most was the classic piece of own team sledging from the Dan team mate umpiring at square leg to a hesitant batsman contemplating a single ‘RUN, you f**khead!’

Rowdy bowled beautifully and picked up a couple for his efforts whilst supersub Emu and J-Bomb took one each. But a few dropped catches combined with the sluggish effort in the field gave the general feeling that we really hadn’t done our best. Nevertheless, the consensus at the break was that a total of 6-147 could certainly be chased down if we could just keep our heads and bat sensibly.

Yeah, about that……

Emu and Radar got us off to a flying start and after 6 overs we had 51 on the board. A clatter of wickets followed with Emu (slogging having just got to his 30), Dutchy (quack, quack) and Rowdy (he can actually bat!) being most culpable. J-Bomb and Big Dog steadied the ship at 6 down without troubling the scorers too much and then a 46 partnership between Curto and Big Dog was a combination of good luck and Curto sneaking singles by yelling at BD to ‘Push, Harder, Push’. Perhaps the heavily pregnant Mrs Rev could benefit from such sage advice!

We ran out of overs at 9-136. So Big Dog maintains his 100% loss record as captain but back at the pub had a grin as wide as the Cheshire Cat with his previously unheard of accumulation of 35 runs unbeaten. A triumph of stubbornness over ability but alas, too little too late to stop the Quokkas sliding into the holiday season with an 11 run defeat. Actually back at the pub we found we didn’t hate the Dan at all and they are a great bunch of blokes in the spirit of Yarra pub cricket.

But what a story Curto had to tell on the Monday morning when his work mate posed his regular enquiry of ‘Ahhh, So how did the Big Dog go yesterday?’

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/police-bust-family-business-run-from-shed/story-fn7x8me2-1226219428802

Legal advice is being sought and an official announcement from QHQ is expected asap.