• From Captain Special…

    After several months’ worth of rain over the last week, Fairfield Oval was almost unrecognizable with Its trademark concrete hard outfield replaced with a lush forest of thick greenery. This, combined with the boundaries being set to regulation MCG proportions, was enough for the collective hamstrings of all those present to quiver in trepidation of what was to come.

    Radar and Special opened up in as-expected contrasting styles with Radar smashing a rollicking 24 from 12 balls to get us off to a rapid-fire start. Unfortunately, a steady flow of wickets though the early overs saw us in somewhat of a precarious position at 5 down after 10 overs.

    With the run-rate still healthy, Pup and Rev, two of the great cricketing minds of our generation, came together to form a highly controversial tactic at the crease. In the coming overs, this ploy became clear to all those in attendance. It was to value their wicket, manipulate the field and work their way into their innings with singles and twos. This tactic went against the very ethos of every pub league regulation ever conceived and will likely lead to the forfeit of 50% of their match fees.

    60-odd runs later, Pup had retired and Rev was dismissed for 29 which brought an even mixture of agony and hilarity from the hearty crowd who had gathered on the sidelines for their chance to witness history being made. A great mixture of hitting and finesse from Flanders, VP and Big Dog through the final few overs saw us post a very defendable total of 173.

    The Dog in action

    The Dog in action

    Spirits were high as we went out to field only to see the first ball of the innings fly over mid off for six. However, memories of this ominous start were swiftly forgotten as Flanders chalked-up two wickets and Pup chimed-in with a direct hit run-out off his own bowling to have the Rose thee down within the first four overs.

    We continued to build the pressure with tight bowling from The Animal, Local (who only conceded three runs from his two overs) and Big Dog, which was all combined with an amazing all-round team performance in the field. This pressure resulted in two more run-outs from Pup and Rev to see the Rose reeling at 5-64 at drinks.

    Any fears of a fluky first session in the field were quickly snuffed-out after drinks as Rev (held together with sticky tape, heat gel and anti-inflam tablets) wound back the clock with loopy swinging deliveries taking two for eight including a caught and bowled. VP then chimed in with an unbelievable maiden over before Dutchy and JRod wrapped up the tail with a scalp each to have the Rose all out for 84.

    An unbelievable team performance made this game particularly easy to captain. Special mention has to go to our bowling and fielding performance. The pressure was never let up and the spirit of the game was maintained throughout (except for Radar’s utter disdain of the stumps).

    Winners are grinners

    Winners are grinners


  • Match Facts:

    Fairfield Oval

    Cnr Heidelberg Road and Yarra Bend Road




    2pm (not 1pm)


    The Big Picture…

    …Is a movie from the 80s starring Kevin Bacon. Of course it is.


    I don’t recommend it.


    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are in incredible form this season; scoring runs, defending big totals and having fun along with it.


    We started off the new decade with a win under the veteran eye of J Rod, much like Saron from those stupid movies about small, hairy people who struggle to dispose of jewellery, but without the jewellery.


    artists impression of the quokkas season

    artists impression of the quokkas season

    In the YPCA, the Quokkas are 4 and 1 this season, with the 1 being a lot of bloody fun and a close game too.


    In short, the Quokkas are flying like short, hairy flying things.


    In the Spotlight:

    After a couple of leaner years by his standards, Local has turned his stats around, being one of the few players (with more than 20 games) who has scored more runs than he has conceded (449 v 446).


    Much of this success with the ball in hand may be down to either the reduced run up, or the increased grunt, or perhaps a combination of both. Or even just bowling straight and at the stumps. It’s a mystery.


    Still, respect must go to the bearded wanderer for his continual improvement.


    Team News:

    It’s been a great season for recruitment, with Sandy playing his debut game last week and a couple of new recruits coming down for a net. Probably says a bit that we haven’t always had room for new players on match days too.


    The squad for this week, at the time of writing, is below:

    1. Big Dog
    2. Dutchy
    3. Local
    4. J Rod
    5. Radar
    6. Pup
    7. SPECIAL ©
    8. VP
    9. The Animal
    10. Nimble
    11. Rev
    12. Flanders (Revs neighborino)



    Pitch and Conditions:

    Fairfield is a bloody lovely ground, with boundaries able to be set almost as far away as Alphington without disrupting a family picnic. That being said, who likes chasing the ball that far?


    The weather has been a little bit different in Melbourne for the last month or so, you might even be inclined to think that the climate might be changing.


    That said, its supposed to be a bit over cast on Sunday with a top of 26. Will make for a great day out should the smoke haze clear.


    Stats and Trivia:

    There was a little concern for my intern given that Stats and Trivia weren’t available in the last Match Preview due to their illness, so I’ve had them garrotted. Please make the new intern, who shall remain nameless, welcome.

    • Big Dog sits on 99 runs for the season and is well positioned to take out the batting award if his hot streak (with no batting average) continues
    • SPECIAL comes into this game as Captain for the first time, having passed 100 career YPCA runs in his last game. A proper batter, this weeks captain is yet to hit a 6 and has scored 27% of his runs through boundaries. The loud one has also become a weapon with the ball, going for only 6.05 runs per over
    • VP is coming in off his best batting innings, smoking 14 runs in quick time. The man who spends more time in Church than he would probably like is now on 46 career YPCA runs, needing only one big swipe to take him to the 50. Go you good thing.
    • The Animal has only batted in 42% of the games he has played in, if he takes guard in this match he will move up to the 50% mark. A more cynical person may think he is going for the ‘Best Clubman’ award. Which we don’t have.





  • From Captain JRod.
    Welcome to a new decade..
    The day was a little gloomy to start, overcast and no opposition 15mins before the start of play. Then we saw a convoy of cars being lead by a white van coming from the Highway side of the ovals. The Pinnacle has arrived.
    With the Pinni hosting and batting first we started our attack with Special and Pup (Puckman as he was known on the scoresheet.)
    A tight couple of overs and Pup picks up the first wicket.
    Pete and new recruit Sandy are next. Sandy gets a wicket with his 3rd ever ball and Pete picks up another with the first ball of the next over. The Quokkas are feel positive at 3/66 after 8.
    Alex and Dutchy are the last pairing before drinks, some good bowling Alex had 3 plumb LBW in 1 over with Dutchy yelling the now mandatory “Any other league..!”
    At drinks the Pinnacle 3/95. Going for just under 8 and over is more runs than we would have liked but the Quokkas are feeling confident we can pull this back in the next session.
    After drinks started with Big Dog and Jay. Both Dog and Jay were unlucky not to get a wicket, but the pinnacle picked up the run rate and had a couple of retirees back in the sheds.
    With 12 players and 11 bowling, the next 6 overs were a rotation of Sizzle, Nimble and JRod. Pulling the run rate back with a couple of wickets and a runout from Alex.
    With 3 overs to go the Pinnace were looking at 200+ score at this stage.
    Alex comes back for his 3rd and bowls a great over, going for only 3 runs and picking up 2 wickets. A sharp stumping by Radar with the gloves and a bowled.
    Not to be outdone, Jay bowls another tight over of 3 runs and a wicket.
    Last over of the innings is the Captain JRod bowling Offies round the wicket.
    First ball is smacked high to long on where Sizzle takes a screamer diving into the dirt and coming up through a cloud of dust with ball in hand.
    Great catch and the whole team are pumped up at this point.
    This had the Pinnacle retirees coming back in.
    Next ball is hit to Pup at deep cover who takes another great catch.
    JRod is 2 from 2 with another retiree coming back in. A real chance to take a legitimate hat trick.
    With the hat trick ball, the whole Quokkas team move in around the bat.
    For this ball JRod decides to bowl over the wicket. Tension builds at the Quokkas clap the run in, ball is bowled… It’s sprayed wide down the leg side…
    With the anti climax of the wide, the Quokkas stay around the bat for the ball to be re-bowled.
    This time the ball is bowled straighter but is cracked through the legside for 4.
    Following this, normal fielding positions are taken and JRod goes back round the wicket. This time the ball is pitched up and knocks over leg stump.
    Pinnacle all out for 186. Quokkas 187 to win.
    After lunch and needing 7.5 an over to win Pup and Nimble walked out to open.
    We had a slow start and lost Nimble and Radar in quick succession. Pup picked up the run rate with Special. Pup got his 30 but was run out before he could retire.
    Special and Big Dog kept the runs coming at around 6 and over until drinks.
    Quokkas were 74 runs at drinks. 21 behind the Pinnacle at the same stage.
    Needing more than 8.5 runs an over after drinks it was hit out or get out and the runs started to flow. Special was out for a run a ball 15 and Big Dog retired. Pete came in for his first bat for the season. He was out going for a big cover drive that was taken with a screamer by the Pinni’s captain.
    That had Dutchy and Alex in who really started to up the rate. Dutchy with a couple of timely 6’s and Alex with a flourish of boundaries before Dutchy was caught and Alex was the second runout of the day.
    Sandy and Jay had a big task ahead of them. Needed 43 runs from the last 5 overs, the game is coming down to the wire.
    With 27 runs off the next 2 overs, the Quokkas were in a strong position.
    Big Dog runs out confirmation we need 16 runs off 18 balls. Jay strikes a few more strong boundaries before get caught in the deep. Leaving just 5 runs off 13 balls.
    Sizzle comes out and smacks a 4 off the last ball of the over giving him a strike rate of 400 and sandy retires.
    Retiree Big Dog come out with Quokkas needed just 1 run from 12 balls to win. Quokkas are feeling good at this stage. The Pinnacle have their field in close around the bat. Big Dog tells Sizzle to be ready for the run.
    Big Dog slaps it to point, they run, miss fielded by the Pinni and Dog raises his bat in triumph! What a finish, what a game! The Quokkas are undefeated in 2020!
    Great game and played in good spirit. The Pinnacle are a great bunch and we welcomed them back to The Empress for some well deserved refreshments.
    Pup 32, Big Dog 28no, Jay 28 off 15.
    JRod 3/13, Alex 2/15.
  • Match Facts:

    Sunday, Jan 12,

    Cox Oval,

    Darkest Peru





    The Big Picture:

    Happy New Year! All of us here at Quokkas HQ wish you, dear reader, and yours all the very best of health and happiness for this Olympic (and leap) year.


    Being the first game of this decade, the Quokkas will be looking to get off to a vigorous start, most likely by scoring more boundaries than the opposition does.


    We go into this game having closed out the previous decade stronger than we started it, though a lot….wiser.


    The Pinnacle have provided a slurry of highlights in all our games against them, and these are always games that we look forward to.


    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are in unchartered waters in regards to form, much like Odysseus, though facing less in the way of Circe and more in the way of actual wins and competitive play.


    With a strong and consistent side, spirits are high and the spoils (if available) are there for the taking. Now I know how Achaeans felt at the siege of Troy.


    In the Spotlight:

    A founding Quokka, Pup makes his triumphant return this weekend at one of his equally-tolerated grounds. The man whose wardrobe seems inspired by Stephan Edberg is a true Quokka legend, with 47 appearances over 10 years.


    Team News:

    Having sent out the SOS for help for the rest of the season given increasing injuries and lack of interest, responses have been dramatic (in a Quokka way) with the following available as of the time of writing:

    1. Big Dog
    2. Dutchy
    3. Radar (w/k)
    4. J Rod ©
    5. Alex
    6. Jay
    7. Pup
    8. Pups mate
    9. SPECIAL
    10. Sizzle
    11. The Animal
    12. Nimble


    Pitch and Conditions:

    Cox Oval is a shithole of the highest order. Nestled out the back of a series of proper cricket grounds, it is neighboured on all sides by wild bush, snakes and bunyips. I’m not saying that the scrub needs to be bulldozed to allow for cricket grounds, but surely there needs to be a point where you give up on one idea and let the other win? Or is that Donald Trump speaking? Forgive me.


    A cloudy day with a predicted top of 25, so it should make for a fun 5 hours outdoors.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • My intern is recovering from a bizarre workplace accident this week and so stats are unavailable



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