• Man alive I hate the commentary team on Channel 9.

    In terms of undermining what there is to love about cricket – even in this day and age – this is a group of (exclusively) men who never fail to relentlessly suck the joy out of all that I still think I hold dear.

    This is mostly because
    A) Michael Slater
    B) Michael Vaughan

    And

    C-Z) Warnie

    Seriously. Fuck Warnie.

    On a Sunday, at some distance past, the Quokkas ( o noble brethren ) played the Dan O’Connell Hotel ( the hated ).

    Leaving aside the fact of 11 Quokkas taking on roughly 267 Dans, this was an even contest played in some kind of spirit.

    The Quokkas fielded first, and with impeccability. Skill, enthusiasm and a willingness to continue being positive in the face of the Dan racking up sixes as if they were available team members.

    In terms of cohesiveness, this was a performance in the field that I feel privileged to have witnessed and been a part of. Thank you Quokkas.

    Ed bowled people out, Jay and Snip got just desserts, catches held and Dutchy took two in two (and then didn’t get another bowl. Why should he, I say…).

    Also, Gaz got a few laughs out of Roleys debilitating back injury

    Also, Gaz got a few laughs out of Roleys debilitating back injury

    The Quokkas were left chasing a total that would have been respectable at the 1987 World Cup and we tried hard.

    The thing about hope is that it is invariably crushed beneath the inexorable advance of reality. And so it was with the Quokkas  chase.

    Credit must go to Snipper and Dutchy for their efforts, particularly Dutch. He scored an absurd amount of runs. Closer to 100 than 30.

    (Which is, coincidentally, the same number of fielders made available by their opponents.)

    The Dan won, in the end. And comfortably.

    But ask yourself – did they really WIN?

  • ** At this very moment a student is in my office calling me a ‘loser’ and ‘wack’. Standard Friday.

    I have not captained a sporting side since De La Salle played St James in a C grade game of football. That was back in 1998, we won by 10 goals and I did not get a kick. As you may have noticed I’m a man of few words. So I will make this short.

    Gasometer vs. Pinnacle

    Highlights

    • Fielding – unbelievable performance
    • Field placing – I did absolutely nothing but Jay’s fly slip idea paid off immediately
    • Keg and Sound System – Shadow Electric vibes and bourbon soundtrack
    • Batting – Tuesday, Alex, Dutchy and Local all contributed with big scores
    • Kids watching the game – “That’s not real cricket Dad!”
    • Bowling – Alex and Snipper dominated with the ball

     

    Lowlights

    • Jay’s diamond duck – No explanation needed

     

    An excellent all round performance. Thanks everyone for the support!

    Radar Radars

    Radar Radars

     

    Local Locals

    Local Locals

  • Match Facts:

    Alphington Park, Vere Street

    Alphington

     

    Time:

    1pm Start

     

    The Big Picture:

    After winning the first two games of the season, the Quokkas have reverted to form and lost the last two on the bounce. That being said, the first lost was only by 6 runs and the second was a close contest against The Dan O’Connell and one of the best all-round efforts that The Quokkas have ever put together in the YPCA.

     

    Well done lads.

     

    If they are able to take this form into Sundays game against The Pinnacle, they are a good chance to finish 2017 with a win.

     

    The Pinnacle is a team we have had mixed results against, but also one that has provided many classical YPCA moments; not least when their Captain got so drunk that he passed out, leading to one of the most disjointed post match speeches of all time when he was roused from uner the pile of kit that had been piled on him.

     

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: WWLL

     

    In the Spotlight:

    He’s been in the spotlight more than Kermit the Frog, though Dutchy does wave his arms in the air a helluva a lot less than the little green frog.

     

    The man in the hot-pink lycra is in equally hot form this season, taking catches behind the stumps, taking wickets when he comes on to bowl and – oh yeah – he hit 72 off 35 balls in the last game.

     

    Dutchy has already passed 100 runs for the season (112) from 3 innings (2 not out), facing 53 balls and hitting 11 of them for 6 (20%)!

     

    James “VP” Gow comes in for his record third game for the season and this will also be his first as Captain.

     

    Team News:

    Once again, the week starts with The Quokka bus is bursting at the sides, though it remains to be seen if it will be its normal semi-vacant self by Sunday.

     

    The squad for the game (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Pup
    2. VP (c)
    3. Tuesday
    4. Alex
    5. Radar
    6. Local
    7. Snipper
    8. Big Dog
    9. Jay
    10. Ed
    11. Stewart
    12. Dutchy
    13. Monty
    14. Rev

     

    Pitch and Conditions:

    Alphington Park is one of the prettier grounds in the YPCA, with a lovely white grandstand at the northern end and feint traces of asbestos floating past from the construction site over the road.

     

    This is also the park where Tuesday, a welcome inclusion back in the squad, once hit a ball for 8.

     

    After sweltering through the hottest November in Melbourne since the Big Bang, the local weather has forced Crowded House to change the name of its song from ‘4 seasons in one day’ to ‘4 seasons in one season’ as a result of the ridiculous volume of rain and cold.

     

    Hopefully things dry up a bit ahead of Sunday.

     

    Stats and Trivia:

    • Without banging on about him too much, Dutchy is on a hat-trick. Nearly impossible in the Pub League but he has managed it. He may need to bribe VP with a few Moon Dogs to get a go at some of the Pinnacles lesser-batters (if they exist)
    • The Dutchman is also now on 907 career YPCA runs for the Quokkas, the record and the thousand mark may well be beat this season. This will also be his 50th YPCA match for the Quokkas
    • Not to say he’s half the man, but this will be Jays 25th appearance for the Quokkas
    • The Gow brothers are 3rd for matches played by brothers in the same team for the Quokkas (4), behind the Curtins (13) and the Nichols (8), but are closing the gap and are wellnahead of the Hentys (1)
    • Alex and the Big Dog are close to new records, with 489 and 198 career runs respectively
    • This will be Radars 30th YPCA match for the Quokkas
    • There is a laneway in Dandenong named “Lois Lane” – I kid you not.

     

     

     

     

     

   

Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.