• From Captain J Rod…

    On a warm summer Sunday, the Quokkas arrived at the VBCA ground with high hopes of redeeming ourselves from last years crushing defeat. With most of the state representatives on tour, we were expecting a more dominant performance over the opposition. With Rev braving the air-conditioned commentary box, the rest of the Quokkas walked slowly out to the pitch.

    The VBCA got off to a great start, with a number of overthrows conceded, while the Quokkas got used to the bounce, or lack of, on the ball. With adjusted rules where wides and no balls are two runs, the VBCA were going along at a decent run-rate. Wickets were hard to come by until Eliza came on and had an instant impact taking a peg.

    We kept rolling through the overs, and with  the last ball of the innings J Rod had his first wicket of the season with a questionable umpiring call. But we’ll take it.

    We came off for a cool drink with a short turnout for out batting innings.

    With the VBCA short of fielders, Rev came out the air conditioned commentary box to help them out. With Snipper and Eliza facing the first 4 overs, we got off to a slow start. Snipper completely blind not being able to get bat on ball until…

    …wait for it…

    …a sweep shot to short leg where Rev took one of the best catches ever seen from a Quokka.

    That might not be saying much, but it was a catch Boonie would be proud of.


    Please take in what you have just read about Rev’s catch. With his modesty it may be the last time it is ever mentioned.

    Back to the game. After the first 4 overs, we were in negative territory and it only got slightly better from there. One of the highlights with the batting was a comment one of the VBCA made about Cat’s tapping of the bat. He said it sounded like a proper cricketer.

    As we rolled slowly through the final overs, Rev and Ren had a duel which could only end badly for Rev. We finished the innings with some big hitting from Dutchy with a little help from JRod, but it was all too little too late.

    The Quokkas could only manage 63. VBCA won 34 runs.

  • From Captain Alex…

    Things that happened.

    Lots of people dropped out. Maybe 5,6, or 7 people. That’s ok. 

    This meant that James Gow stepped in. As did Ren. As did cousin/God son Sean Scales. As did Simon ‘Slow Dancer’ Okely and this bloke Jaime was supposed to but he got home at 5:30am so he didn’t. Actually we still expected him to turn up, so I placed him last in the batting order. He didn’t. Luckily Rev was back from picking up the kids so he stepped in. Simon was pretty hungover. I asked him to play at 1am that morning. He and I were drinking whisky and I was singing bad harmony to his new songs. Simon hadn’t played cricket before. But Simon has this new go-get’em/up-for-whatevs/I-Ching attitude so he gone done did it anyway. 

    In the AM I received several phone calls and text messages about the rain. Yes it was going to rain on and off all day. Would the cricket be affected? Yes it would. The Rainbow dudes said they were willing to turn up and try for a result. So we did the same. It was raining pretty hard in Fitzroy on arrival. It was actually quite depressing. There was a strong, icey wind a-blowin’ and I felt quite guilty about asking Sean, Simon and James to play. They didn’t seem to mind, “we don’t mind” they said. JAMES ASKED HIS PARTNER MIRANDA TO MARRY HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE AND SHE SAID YES AND HE STILL CAME TO PLAY CRICKET FOR US HE IS A LEGEND. I was pretty hungry and it was still raining hard so I decided that we should eat some dim sims and wait for the rain to pass. That we did and that it did. 

    Simon had never batted before. That comes as no surprise to you as I wrote earlier that he hasn’t played cricket before. That in mind I had him open the batting with me. Why did I open with myself? I guess I had some lofty notion of leading by example and so on. Why did I open with Simon? I felt personally responsible for his good time and wanted to do my best to provide it. I provided it with positive comments from the other end of the pitch. Simon didn’t know how do put pads on. That was pretty funny and also understandable. Sean Was batting 5th but was padded up on arrival and was receiving throw downs before Simon and I. That was cool and funny. Simon and I did pretty good but probably lost the match for the Quokkas. Because we didn’t score quick enough. I hit lots of good cut shots directly to fielders. Simon missed the ball a bit because he hadn’t batted before. Eventually Simon hit some great shots including a ‘4’. With the blessing of the Rainbow’s captain, Simon and I planned to retire pre 30 (we were on approx 20) so as to give someone else a shot and having a good time and also maybe scoring heaps of runs quickly resulting in victory. I threw my wicket. Simon retired. I don’t remember much about the game after this as I started thinking about my life. My new album for instance. Is it gonna be respected by my peers? How am I gonna pay for mastering and marketing? I also thought about this great girl I’ve been seeing and then I got sad because she is pretty hot and cold and she was cold that day. I also thought about the bike the Dutchy generously gave me. How long has it been since I’ve cycled? How do you do it? I know that saying says that once you’ve learnt you can’t forget but some times saying are incorrect. Like the saying – “Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid, but in the end, it is always beautiful”. That’s not true. Think about those who died violent deaths after a life time of suffering and so on. I got to thinking about Centrelink too. 

    This is what I remember happening even though I wasn’t really concentrating – 

    Sean came in. He has played district cricket. I don’t know that that means but the way James said it gave me in the impression that district cricket is and impressive level o quality. My intuition was proven correct. Sean gifted us cricket card (and or poster) quality stroke after stroke. His technique wowed us. He wasn’t hitting the ball very hard though. Once again, pub cricket frustrates the best equipped. What else happened. Oh yeah. The star of the day. Ed. Ed hit some awesome cricket shots. He made 32 off 14. He tried his best to help us win. Which we did not. In the end. Win. Jay hit some nice shots too. He was dropped a few times and almost got bowled a couple of times but made the most of his 9 lives with a score of 15. Dutch came in and did what he had to do. Hit the ball hard with his batt. He made a quick and needed 10 runs. Res, Nick, Big Dog and James Gow also contributed with the bat. They played good shots and ran hard and tried their best. For that we are grateful. It was raining a fair bit during this time so credit to those who endured. It reminded me of a film Jay and I are yet to make titled ‘Warnie In The Trenches’.

    As mentioned Jaime didn’t turn up.

    Luckily Rev arrived with his cute kids. Rev batted great and made 10. Rev also bowled very well later in the match. I probably should have given him a vote. Sorry Rev. 

    Sad Rev

    Sad Rev

    Then we drank more beers. 

    Then practiced catching. 

    Then we went out to field. 

    James and Jay opened. 

    I’m getting bored. 

    Lets just say everyone bowled well. Jay, Rev, and Ed bowled especially well. I bowled pretty good. Sean’s second over was unreal. 

    Ed caught the first dude. Then the second dude. Then the third dude but that didn’t count on account of it being a free hit so he decided to run him out instead. Then Ed caught the fourth dude. Simon took a great catch in his new jacket.

    jacket

    Artists impression of Slow Dancers jacket

    Big Dog’s second over was good too. Listen everyone bowled great. Dutchy kept well. One dude stepped back onto his own wicket. He seemed disappointed so Nick shouted “Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid, but in the end, it is always beautiful”. This didn’t seem to help because he was still out on account of walking into his stumps which is truly depressing. 

    We had a break when it started raining again. 

    Also, we fielded one person down. That didn’t help. Thanks Jaime.

    We got close. The spirit was correct. Everyone seemed to have a good time despite the weather. We needed to get 3 wickets prior to them scoring 40 runs. We didn’t. 

    Thanks Big Dog for the salads. Saul for the bbq. Ed for the food. James for the Dim Sims. 

    Sorry if someone did something note worthy which I haven’t included. 

    Nb. I have not, and will not check for spelling and grammar errors.

  • Match Facts: Sunday, February 19th 2017, Alfred Crescent Oval, North Fitzroy

    Time: Midday for a 1pm start

    The Big Picture:

    This is the Quokkas last Pub League game of the season, offering them their last chance to get a win in an otherwise winless season.

    The Rainbow was one of the few pubs that the Quokkas beat last season, but that doesn’t seem to matter for much this season, with the boys in maroon seemingly able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at every chance.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas are coming off the back of their annual first-round exit from the BDNO, though this years version was a little more promising than previous years and showed glimpses of what was possible.

    The Quokkas bowled and fielded well by their standards in the BDNO, holding catches, taking wickets and stopping singles. They’re all good signs & also very likely to disappear as quickly as they appeared.

    In the Spotlight:

    Alex comes back in to the Quokkas squad for his first game since Nerrena and his first game as Captain. The square-shouldered leggie showed some excellent form in his last spell in Gippsland, repeating it will surely provide as many issues to batsmen as it will fielders (who will have to catch a spinning ball off the bat).

    Team News:

    Its been a tough week at Quokkas HQ with players declaring unavailability like it was some sort of hipster trend. The XI for this weekend (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Alex (c)
    2. Jay
    3. Ed
    4. Dutchy
    5. Big Dog
    6. Tuesday
    7. Nickname AW
    8. Bowl’en
    9. Sean*
    10. Local
    11. James How

    Pitch and Conditions

    The game is scheduled to be played at Alfred Crescent, defined in these pages previously in detail. It’s a ground with small boundaries that favours the big hitters, or even the medium-distance hitters, with those disinclined to run not finding penalties.

    The predicted top for Sunday is 19 with a prediction for some light showers in the morning and early afternoon.

    Stats & Trivia

    • Jay is sitting on 175 career runs at 35, so is well positioned to crack the 200-run mark in this match
    • Similarly, Tuesday is sitting on 279 career runs at 23, so is well placed to crack the 300-run mark
    • Bowl’en hasn’t had much luck this season, but 2 wickets will take him to 10 career wickets
    • James Gow has had a little more luck this season, going for only 5.7 runs per over
  • Match Facts: Sunday, February 5th, 2017

    Time: 11am

    The Big Picture:

    This is the 6th or 7th time the Quokkas have appeared in the Big Day Not Out (BDNO), which says about as much about our record-keeping as it does our blind perseverance.

    Aside from providing the recalcitrant with an avenue to enjoying social cricket on a semi-regular basis, this event is the jewel in the Yarra Pub Cricket Associations crown, a knock out tournament for 16 of the 18 teams in the league that can be bothered showing up.

    The Quokkas have never got close to the finals of the day, though The Rev did help the Prince Pat get to the final by filling in, taking a wicket and then spending the rest of the day playing kick-to-kick in the outfield.

    This year offers the annual glimmer of hope though, with a lucky 11am start time at the oval on Alfred Crescent, the most boundary friendly of grounds. This works in The Quokkas favour, given their lack of ability to catch a ball and the relatively high number of boundaries they have hit this season.

    The first, and possibly only, game is against the Rose, whom the Quokkas put in a good showing against earlier in the season. If the Quokkas are able to produce some efficient overs like Snipper, Jay, Big Dog and Radar did last time (4, 4.3, 4.7 and 6 RPO) did last time, they should be in with a chance of making it through to the next round.

    Form Guide:

    The Quokkas have won one match this season, the first for 2016/17 against The Terminus in a blizzard at Ramsden Street. Its possible they aren’t any good at Summer sports. With this summer being what it has, they may be in with a chance.

    The Rose have won at least one game.

    In the Spotlight:

    J Rod is an early omission from the team for motivation issues, to be replaced by Pup for his first game of the season.

    A Quokka veteran with 33 total appearances, Pup is also something of a BDNO specialist. Not necessarily for anything on the field, but he usually turns up.

    Tuesday takes the reigns of the team after winning the ‘Best Player in the BDNO’ award last year. No doubt relishing the opportunity of starting a game of cricket at 11am that could be over by 11:10am, the man in the ink has no doubt been strategizing the best routes out of North Fitzroy on a Sunday afternoon all week.

    Team News:

    J Rod has found something else to do, which means Pup walks into the side.

    At the time of writing, The Quokkas have 12 available for this game, which means we will be able to field specialist batting and fielding sides (if everyone shows).

    Bowl’en voted for an afternoon of minding the Esky but Captain Tuesday had other ideas and he will be in the batting side.

    The XII (at the time of writing) is:

    1. Chef
    2. Radar
    3. Dutchy
    4. Local
    5. Snipper
    6. Tuesday (c)
    7. Ed
    8. Jay
    9. Nickname AW
    10. Big Dog
    11. Bowl’en
    12. Pup

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The pitch at Alfred Crescent Oval has seen better days, with a re-carpeting job on the asto-turf cover seemingly started and aborted after they got just short of a good length at one end. Unfortunately, that’s the batting end, so gives bowlers plenty to aim at.

    The BOM is predicting a top of 25 degrees with rain, so the Duckworth Lewis system may come in to save the day.

    Stats & Trivia:

    • Ed and Pup have played in the most BDNOs for The Quokkas, 6, a battle for supremacy that will be decided by age and interest;
    • Boundary hitting is the key for BDNO batting and The Quokkas leaders are Dutchy (75% of runs through boundaries), Chef (71%), Local (70%) and Radar (67%)
    • Efficiency is the key to bowling in the BDNO and the Quokkas leaders are Snipper (3.3), Dutchy (4.5), Jay (5.5) and Radar (6.0)

   

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