• Match Facts:

    December 4, 2016

    Fairfield Cricket Ground

     

    Time:

    1pm

     

    The Big Picture:

    This is the tenthy-second time that the Quokkas have taken on the “Beefys”, or very close to that figure indeed. This preview has gone over historic matches between the two clubs in the past, so I wont revisit that.

     

    The main point is that this game oft-represents all that is good in pub cricket, and all that can be good in this world again.

     

    The Beefies, with or without the Ford Laser, are a great group of lads and the Quokkas always look forward to getting to know the Beef Curtins a bit better, particularly after they are nice and moist after a day in the field.

     

    Form Guide:

    After winning their first game of the season in a thriller, The Quokkas have lost the last two in relatively convincing fashion.

     

    The last loss was against a combined Nerrena squad that featured a young blonde all-rounder about whom Dutchy astutely observed; “he looks like a female Russian tennis player”. Unfortunately for the Quokkas, he grunted as well as he bowled, batted and fielded and was a big part of the difference between the teams.

    Nice shape

    Nice shape too

     

    As good as the Quokkas fielding performance at Nerrena was, the Quokkas still managed to put down a number of catches, something that helps you win…something. Apparently.

     

    In the Spotlight:

    James Gow is a welcome addition to the team after a 12 month absence spent finding inner peace in a dilapidated RnB club in downtown Kilmore. James brings much needed disciplined bowling to the Quokkas, with a career RPO average of 5.67 and a bowling average of 17. For those that are interested, this is much lower than his brothers average of 21.17.

     

    Local gets the Captains Jacket this week (it turns out the Big Dog has been holding on to it for reasons unknown), which is kind-of like giving Donald Trump control of the Worlds largest economy. Very similar in fact.

     

    Local is coming off a great game with the ball (3 overs, 1 for 17) and bat (17 off 7), his batting innings in Nerrena including some of the more outrageous shots ever seen in South Gippsland. It was similar to Captain Kirk exposing the white-skinned people to the Enterprise at the start of “Star Trek: Into Darkness”.

    The Nibirans, responding to the SAULSCOOP

    The Nibirans, responding to the SAULSCOOP

     

    Team News:

    With the greatest recording studio in Melbourne, 400 Acres, having its Christmas party this Sunday, the Quokkas are suddenly short of many of its famously stable 2016/17 squad.

     

    Thankfully, we know others who can actually play and are available.

     

    The XI, at the time of writing, is:

    1. Rev
    2. Bowl’en
    3. Chef
    4. Dutchy (w/k)
    5. J Rod
    6. Big Dog
    7. Tuesday
    8. Jay
    9. Local (c)
    10. James Gow
    11. Nickname AW

     

    Pitch and Conditions

    Formerly a regular ground for the Quokkas, Fairfield Oval has now become the forgotten school friend that you bump into irregularly and promise to catch up with, but never do.

     

    The ground has become a smooth, green carpet since the drainage has been fixed, unless the soccer team has been on it first – in which case it is a cabbage patch.

     

    Its expected to hit a top of 32 degrees on Sunday, which should be great fun to field in first. There is supposed to be a late shower in the day, which may help the team bowling second, which just happens to not be the Quokkas.

     

     

    Stats & Trivia:

    After updating the database at Quokkas HQ to include mixed games, some of the appearances data has changed, so apologies for any confusion here:

    • This match will be Chefs 20th appearance for the Quokkas, the broad-chested legend took out the bowling award in his first season and has 16 YPCA wickets at 15 to prove his (Kiwi) chops. Throw in his 220 runs at 24 and you get to understand the value he brings to the team, without even mentioning the Pinot Gris
    • On the subject of Bowling-award winners, Jay is has sent down 6 overs in the YPCA this season at a cost of 33 runs (5.5 RPO) without luck. He has taken 9 wickets for 151 runs in his career so perhaps he should let the Dog out and go a bit more vertical?
    • With Ed out, Dutchy has the opportunity to extend his lead for all-time runs over Ed, which currently stands at 1. Should he do so, it will probably be via going big, Dutchy scores 60% of his runs from boundaries (40% fours, 20% sixes) as opposed to Eds 48% (33% fours, 15% sixes)
    • Bowl’en was a little hard on himself on hitting 7 last weekend, but it was consistent. His career average in the YPCA is 6.44. The long-limbed, guitar-picken man is a real nurdler, challenging the Rev for runs scored off boundaries (21% v 23%). Neither has hit a six.

     

  • Match Facts: November 20, 2016, Nerrena Cricket Club

    Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture: This is The Quokkas second visit to Nerrena for a social match against the locals. Normally this would qualify as a tour game, but considering we just played 2 games in Sri Lanka, its more of a social visit.

    Still, we are looking forward to it eagerly.

    Not being a pub league game, we are playing by the standard T20 rules, which will bring the nastiness of LBWs and other ways of getting out. So unfair.

    Form Guide: The Quokkas started the season with a famous win, with Snipper hitting a 6 off the last ball to win it. They backed it up by piling on 181 runs against the Old Bar in 25 overs, only to watch their opponents chase the total with 3 overs and 3 wickets to spare. Not exactly the sort of thing that will terrorize the Nerrena batsmen as they sleep this week.

    In the Spotlight:

    Nickname AWs last innings of 26 took him to 46 total career runs, more than doubling his run tally in his previous 8 digs and showing us what he is capable of with the bat. He also averages a wicket every 4 overs, and not having taken a wicket with his last 2, is due.

    Dutchy famously scored a 49 in this fixture last year and will certainly be looking for the chance to go literally 1 better.

    Team News: The Quokkas playing stocks are plentiful this season. If only they had the ability to match their availability. Jay has been handed the Captains Jacket for this game, but only metaphorically, I have no idea where the actual Jacket is. If anyone with any information on the whereabouts of the Jack could get in touch, that’d be great.

    At the time of writing, there are 14 players available for this game:

    1. Tuesday
    2. Local
    3. Jay (c)
    4. Rev
    5. Radar
    6. Tigger
    7. Chef
    8. Cat
    9. Bowl’en
    10. Alex
    11. Nickname AW
    12. Dutchy (w/k)
    13. Ed
    14. Dog (w/k)

    We are going to rotate through the fielders to make sure everyone gets a bowl, but not everyone will get a bat. Those that have only batted once this season will get a priority.

    Pitch and Conditions: In this same match preview last year I joked about how wet and awful Gippsland is, then we were presented with sunshine, undulating hills and green countryside. It’s a beautiful spot.

    Stats & Trivia

    • Nickname AW is the leading 4 hitter for the Quokkas so far this season, with five boundaries
    • The Big Dog has the highest batting average this season (54) and has faced the highest number of balls (73), the next highest is Ed (38)
    • The mode average for balls faced this season is 17; 4 players (Rev, Dutchy, Jay and Local) have all faced that many
    • The last game v the Old Bar was certainly one for milestones, J Rod played his 30th YPCA game for the Quokkas, the Big Dog had his 60th total Quokka appearance (club record), Local had his 25th Quokka appearance
    • The last game also saw Ed get his first Century for the Quokkas, having now bowled 100.2 overs
    • Tuesdays last catch took him to 24 dismissals (catch or run outs / stumping) for The Quokkas, he is quickly closing in on Curtos record (29). His catches per match average (1.44) has daylight between him and the rest
    • Alex was a little worried about his lack of involvement in winning teams of late, but should be happy about his latest wicket; it took him out of the 11 wicket club (Mo, Radar, Robbo, Local & Snipper), which was getting a little crowded. He is the only member of the 12 wicket club.
  • Coming off a close win two weeks before, returning to Fortress Quokka and a much nicer day than the arctic winds experienced the previous game, Quokkas tails were up like Tiger Woods on tour. Electing to bat by default, vibrant (I work for govt) opening pair of Ed and Big Dog got the innings underway. Slow and steady scoring built a solid platform before the Dog was unceremoniously bowled for 19. Ed picked up the pace before losing his next partner in JRod who had half convinced the Captain pre-game that the law of averages demanded he never bat top 3. Consider this captain convinced!

    A handy retirement for Ed at 31 could lead to votes for the Tasmanian Pirate Man.

    Enter Nickname who pounded away in Bill Clinton intern style with a quick fire 26 before being caught behind without a reach around. Meanwhile some Gow called Alex had strode to the crease and proceeded to craic on at lightning pace. Very un-Quokka-like display of crafted shot after shot. Backfooted cover drives reaching the boundary – the lot! 32 off 19 deliveries no less.

    Enter the human volcano Dutchy who quickly raced to 29 off 14 AND Quokkas tails positively hard by this point.  Captain’s apology to Local who really should have been batting instead of Dutchy but due to Local sunbaking out the back with his formidable white skin rendering him invisible to this Captain.

    Captain’s log – pre-game injury had forced the withdrawl of Cookem up Chef. By all reports, even though he didn’t step onto the field in anger, many many runs were scored with consistent backend play:/ Yowsers!

    Total of 181 allowed us all to enjoy the fine burgers during the break.

    Local (suddenly visible) opened up from the end we always bowl from and started with a tidy 2 run over. Tuesday followed suit with another tidy over and  ‘Nice – here we go’ thought the Captain, ‘my first win at the helm coming up’. Old Bar boys Blair and George had other ideas, blasting 34 off 12 and 32 off 13 respectively. Dilshan, Cuss and Andy picked up from where they left off and we were staring at 108 at drinks!

    Beer is the natural fluid choice of the Quokka and after refreshments, the Dog had his first wicket on second delivery. A Riccardo-esque celebratory beer in shoe display left no Quokka wondering how questionable hygienic choices may have led to his dengue fever contraction over the Winter months. Further wickets to Alex, Dutchy and Ed combined with some great Siddlish JRod bowling (5 runs conceded from 2 overs) gave the Quokkas a chance, but in the end Old Bar boys ran away with the spoon with 2.5 overs to spare.

    All in all though a fun day against a good bunch of guys and we look forward to our next game against them. Next up – we get our deliverance on in Nerrenna. Yee Ha!

    Finally  – A Fast Fact

    Our Don 99.94% batting average

    Their Don 99.94% grope ‘o’ pussy average

  • Match Facts: November 6 2016, Ramsden Street Oval, Clifton Hill

    Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture: With the first game of the season over and won, The Gasometer Quokkas have a bit of a spring in their step coming into this match. Futher, the game is at their new favourite ground; Ramsden Street, where they have been training ALL WINTER (may not be true).

    It should be noted that The Quokkas got out of jail in the last game largely thanks to a hard-fought 30* from the Big Dog and a rather spectacular 30* from Snipper who hit a 6 off the last ball to win the game. That aside, the Quokkas did bowl well, dismissing the Terminus for 142 with no retirees. Ed may have taken a couple of catches too.

    Oh what a feeling

    Oh what a feeling

    Interestingly, the last time the Quokkas played the Old Bar, they conceded ~141 runs before the Chef (44*) and J Rod (41*) steered them home.

    Form Guide: The Quokkas come into this game with an actual win under their belts. You read it here first.

    In the Spotlight: The Big Dog is coming off the second 35 of his YPCA career, including two 4s and one 6, which is something considering the conditions of the last game. He also took a wicket in his 2 overs for the cost of only 12 runs. Career form? Very possibly.

    Jay comes in for his 8th YPCA game and 13th Quokkas match overall. Often given the new ball, largely based on his ability to actually bowl well and quickly, Jay is the only Quokka with more than 2 games to average 3 overs per game in YPCA matches. Remarkable, really.

    Team News: It wouldn’t be a Quokkas game without a fair amount of change.

    After hitting the winning runs last week, Snipper is out with South-Australian-related issues. His death-batting partner, Cat, is also out with parenting-related illness.

    After confusing all and sundry with his availability, Local is actually playing now. Maybe.

    local

    Into the side comes Alex, Radar and J Rod, who add runs, wickets and run outs to the team.

    The team at the time of writing is (in no particular order):

    1. Big Dog
    2. Ed
    3. J Rod
    4. Bowl’en (c)
    5. Chef
    6. Alex
    7. Rev
    8. Radar
    9. Nickname AW
    10. Tuesday
    11. Jay
    12. Local

    Pitch and Conditions: The Ramsden Street Oval offers plenty of bounce for the pub cricketer (who usually likes a short line on leg), which can be good for the leg-side fielder and bad for the people who have their cars parked on the western side of the field.

    It looks like a lovely day at 21 degrees and little wind, which will make a welcome change from the last game in which Chef contracted pneumonia.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • The Revs 2 wickets for 21 runs in the last game took him to 21 career wickets. Spooky.
    • Local is now on 249 career runs (at 16.6)
    • Bowl’en cracked 50 career runs last week, here’s looking forward to the next 50 being scored this Sunday
    • Ed, 707 career runs, is 3 off Dutchy for the club record. He also holds the club record for wickets (34 at 17.29), though this is being hunted by the man in form – The Big Dog (29 at 23.76)
  • To play or not to play, a question being asked by Quokka minds on the morning of October 23rd?

    The weather conditions created doubts, posing a curious blend of excitement and apathy at the prospect of the new season and one’s desire to not leave the room. Together these forces merged into a Sunday morning mix of confident uncertainty. No uncertainty went into the design of the Ramsden St Oval and its efficient drainage meant we were good to go.

    As Visitors, the Quokkas took to the field braving an icy southerly wind and set about the task of taking ten wickets on one of earth’s coldest cricketing spring Sundays.

    And a good start it was!

    Opening with a maiden, Tuesday and Bowl’en were keeping tight lines and broke through in the third over for the first wicket of the season. Yet as the match settled through the early overs, a sharp start from the Quokkas was being undone by dropped catches and the growing confidence of the opposition batsmen, a sign of how momentum would shift from team to team throughout the day.

    Snipper with the early catch

    Snipper with the early catch

    Quokkas were keeping Terminus scoring down with tight bowling and solid fielding, and had a few dropped catches been held, would’ve been well on top at the first drinks break. Instead, The Terminus were only two down at drinks, the second being a seductive and mysterious Big DogDutchy combo getting the batsman caught behind. Following drinks, any concerns of earlier promise ebbing away were allayed as the Quokkas took four wickets in four overs. Beginning with a great Chef catch deep on the mid-off boundary from the captains bowling, Snipper, Rev and Ed came in and excelled with their bowling and catching, such action it was! Picturesque, poetic, profound, these middle to late overs redefined such terms. The Quokkas had had kept them down and yet the Terminus continued pushing and once again seemed to take the momentum until some Tuesday fielding magic created a runout and led the Quokkas on to get all ten wickets with no retirees and a few overs to spare, oh yes.

    B. Rev C. Big Dog You'd feel pretty unlucky

    B. Rev C. Big Dog
    You’d feel pretty unlucky

    Lunch break and The Terminus all out for 142.

    The Quokkas were confident going into the chase and batted with a relaxed enthusiasm displaying the first round nature of the fixture.  Whilst many were showing promise, none of the top order were able to take control of the target. Jay played some sweet shots before getting caught behind for 16 and Local was seeming to slot into a groove before being run out for 12. The Terminus were holding their catches, affecting run-outs, the Quokkas were six wickets down and needing over ninety runs to win at drinks!

    Needing over ninety and with only four wickets in hand, a Quokkas victory was an unlikely prospect. Discussion referred to a good bowling and fielding performance we could learn from and a range of other cliches to put a positive spin on an inconsistent and disappointing performance. Such thoughts were not in the mind of the Big Dog who stood bravely in the cold sunshine knocking singles to mid wicket or behind point, frustrating the bowlers and inching towards the target. Some quick fire hitting from the Chef brought a distant target into vague view and then Snipper came in and seized upon the platform established by Big Dog. With Snipper hitting boundaries and Big Dog joining in on the act, the vague target became real and when Big Dog retired the quokkas needed a run a ball off the last three overs. it’s getting pretty dang breathless by this stage and we’re all over the place in our minds and so on. Not really but you know what i’m getting at. Geez i have to say that big dog was really good, a perfect example of taking your time and playing to your strengths and the situation, (i was out caught for one in a pretty dingus and shabby performance i must say) and folks are watching on the boundary and whatnot. there was feelings everywhere, emotion was visually manifest in the shape of the icy wind giving the Rev dropsy and causing my gout to whinny up my nodules none too funny. cat comes in and helps snipper step closer towards the target, it’s pretty edgy – the game is poised, it’s on the edge of a nanoknife! Cat and Snipper had some tight moments yet stuck fast and needing three off the last delivery to win Snipper hits a six over mid wicket for an outstanding victory, crowd goes wild, courteous professional styled touching and expressions of affection and overall agreement that yes i said yes and what a good day it was.

    The man of the hour

    The man of the hour

   

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