• Match Facts:

    Sunday, March 1 – Fairlea West Oval, Yarra Bend

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture:

    While 2015 has been one of the busiest summers of cricket, it hasn’t been the kindest of years to The Quokkas; with only 2 wins from 6 games. Those 2 wins haven’t been against pub league rivals either, 1 was a very tight contest against the VBCA and the other a 1-wicket win against the ASRC. With a re-match against Seymours on Lydiard scheduled in for March 15, this game against the Rose will be the penultimate game for the season & (probably) the last chance for a win; not that winning is what the Quokkas are about.

    Seen here; what it's about

    Seen here; what it’s about

    As it stands, the approach for playing for playings sake has never been better represented than with this game as no less than 14 players have confirmed that they are unavailable. 2 new players have had to be called in, as well as new players Jim and Small Goods, and Cunners – who hasn’t been seen since the 2010/11 season.

    In regards to the opposition, the Quokkas haven’t played The Rose since the infamous match in 2012/13. That squad has subsequently moved to a new pub, The Birmingham, so The Quokkas aren’t really sure of what to expect. They are, apparently, mates of Radars, so they must be good blokes.

    Not always happy, but good

    Not always happy, but good

    In all, it’s a bit of a melange and a sign of a team that has played possibly too much cricket.

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: LWLWLLW

    The Rose: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    Dutchy entered the 2014/15 season slightly behind Ed for career runs scored & a private competition between the two of them for the first to 500 was won by Ed a few weeks ago against the ASRC. Since then, though, the Dutchman has passed 500 and only needs 31 to draw level with Ed. Can the big-hitter go the distance and win the batting award from behind?

    This game also represents the 40th time the Big Dog has strode out for The Quokkas in a YPCA-rules match (doesn’t include VBCA or BDNO games). A great reflection of his commitment to social cricket & a triumph of availability over ability. Well done, the ‘Dog.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    Team News:

    As mentioned, the Quokkas have had to search high and wide to get their XI together, which they have done. It is (at this stage):

    1. Big Dog
    2. Dutchy
    3. Snipper
    4. Ball’en
    5. Rev
    6. Cunners
    7. Nick AW
    8. Jim
    9. J Rod
    10. Pup
    11. Small Goods

    Pitch and Conditions:

    The game is being played at Fairlea West, which is one of the most haunted grounds on earth. Despite it being a mild summer with a lot of rain, the ground at Fairlea West is as hard as cement.

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    Artists impression of fielders in the outfield

    It is expected to be a warm day, so The Quokkas will be chasing in the sun.

    Stats and Trivia:

    • This will be the Big Dogs 40th game for the Quokkas, a well-earned record;
    • J Rod is in incredible form with the bat (23, 30* and 25 in his last 3 knocks) & is now only 12 runs off 200 career runs. This will make him the 10th Quokka to hit the milestone (after Ed, Emu, Dutchy, Rowdy, Big Dog, Curto, Radar, Phantom and Pup);
    • Up until the last game, Snipper had only been out once this season, and that was when Radar ran him out in the first match. As a result, his average sits at a lofty 57.
  • For a cricket club that plays the game for fun and inclusion, a game like the one against the ASRC had previously unknown importance. If ever there was a time to enjoy the game for its own sake, this was it. The importance of enjoyment brought back memories of Dolph Lundgren in ‘Universal Soldier’ with his line: “Are we having fun yet?”.

    And who could forget that?!

    And who could forget that?!

    Lining up at the Kevin Bartlett Recreational Ground, arguably the smallest ground on earth, was only ever going to add to the enjoyment of the day. It was agreed that a score of 200+ would be needed to guarantee the win.

    Oh, how we smiled at the thought of it.

    Working against our smiles, though, was the weather. With the thermostat pushing past 30 by midday and promising plenty more to come, along with the very un-Melbourne humidity levels, spirits moved from ‘high’ to ‘coping’ quickly. The weather had such an adverse impact that many of the ASRCs players decided it was safer to stay indoors. They were right. Still, with plenty of Quokkas and spectators available, two teams were constructed and the ASRC elected to have a bat.  Opening with Subi and Israr, the ASRC lads got off to a good start, particularly against Ed whose off-spinners went for 12 in his first over.

    Needing to put the brakes on a bit, Captain Rev lent on medium-but-accurate bowlers Paz and Chef and was repaid with interest almost immediately, with The Chef serving up a main meal of middle peg destruction. Sensing that there might actually be something to this accurate bowling approach, The Rev then brought on J Rod and Snipper, both of whom got in on the wickets too. Snipper even went on to take the old Richie Benaud figures one step further; 2 overs, 2 runs, 2 wickets and 2 catches! One of the catches was Super-Mario-esque, with Snipper appearing to jump while in the air.

    Artists impression of Snipper

    Artists impression of Snipper

    On the subject of catches, Tuesday was again everywhere, taking 3 for the day including a couple of screamers on the leg side boundary. He has now taken as many career catches as the Big Dog in 33 less games.

    Possibly dizzy from the heat or catches being held, The Rev decided it was time to go for a walk under the sprinklers in the neighbouring Soccer pitch and brought “Bowl’en” Shane on for a while, possibly because he thought the batsmen may hit a few to the middle of the pitch. The thought was almost correct, as “Bowl’en” went on to take 3 wickets off 2 overs, only the 3rd time a Quokka has taken 3 wickets in a game.

    Going into drinks with the score at 8-50 and with spirits lifted by the sprinklers, the Quokkas thought it best to let the ASRC bat 11 batsmen. Note to the patient reader: whenever the Quokkas get cocky, disaster strikes. On this day disaster took the form of the returning batsman Ishrah and super-sub (and birthday boy) The Big Dog.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The man is an excitement machine.

    The Big Dog made a mockery of the leg-side field that was set for him, often hitting at and through the fielders placed there, particularly The Rev. His deft leaving of Emus lightning bolts outside off stump was a lesson for all young cricketers to follow. The innings was brought to an unexpected end by The Rev bowling off spin (as he had lent his shoes to one of the opposition) and getting one to pop up to Israh who edged it to Gully for ‘keeper Tuesday to run in and catch another screamer in front of Emu.

    The total had now moved to a more daunting 124, though not so daunting that The Rev arrogantly opted to open the batting with his brother. The strategy paid off to a degree, with the siblings both making brisk 5s & allowing their mum to go home and get out of the heat. J Rod arrived at first drop, and was soon joined by Shane, and even sooner by Radar with The Quokkas looking decidedly shaky at 3 for not may at all.  The ASRC were bowling brilliantly in the conditions, with Subi getting miles of inswing from his left armers, as well as solid support (and pace) from Hussain and Ikram. J Rod was the answer to clever bowling though, top edging over his head on at least 4 occasions to hit the boundary directly behind him, as well as punching singles and 2s along the lush outfield to hit his first retirement score (30).

    The retirement of J Rod precipitated another mini-collapse, with Emu and Tuesday registering 1s before being caught out trying to hit out. Emu’s dismissal was a particular highlight, with the large flightless bird being caught on the rope by the birthday boy (what a present!) by the bowling of the long-suffering Kathleen (Eds partner). My memory isn’t very good these days, but I’m pretty sure that’s the second time in 2 seasons that Emu has been dismissed by the fairer sex.

    ahhhh yes....

    ahhhh yes….

    Radar was then joined at the crease by Ed, who obviously likes sleeping on the couch as he hit Kathleens next 2 deliveries for 10 runs. The heat began to pinch again, with Radar losing his na-na and running himself out, bringing Dutchy to the crease.  Surviving an appeal for Leg-Before-St Kilda, Dutchy settled in comfortably and started working the ball around, creeping the score towards the target. A combination of the heat and the birthday boy then saw the end of Ed, who knicked an extra slow delivery to the ‘keeper, allowing Snipper to come in and hit the winning runs with the Dutchman.

    Not that the end result mattered, the game was all about having a go and having some fun. It was great to see the smiling faces of the lads from the ASRC and the Quokkas, showing how beneficial sport can be in welcoming people into the community.

    Thanks must go to Dave Cameron from the ASRC for helping organise the game, Yarra Council for letting us use the field, Prahran and Moorabbin Park Cricket Clubs for donating gear to the ASRC, Pup for umpiring and scoring all day & to everyone who helped out.

  • on the agenda

    image1 image2 (1)





    ambitions for the season:

    • Faggy get a job
    • Meet some very dark bulgarians
    • Win ratio .500
    • Team RBI 140
    • Plan F to succeed
    • Bring back the bear
    • 1 cockblock
    • A long arduous journey that cements team spirit
    • To hear some pre-pubsecent girls screaming for the binman
    • More sausage
    • Cake of the year competition

    plus some cricket

    here signed agreed minutes of the AGM

  • From Captain Tuesday….

    An overcast gloomy day greeted me Sunday morning coupled with a very uneasy feeling filling my stomach. As I donned the captains jacket all I could hear was Rev’s words echoing through my mind ‘ we make it to semi final every year’ no pressure at all I thought with some of the boys showing strong batting performances in the nets the day before and Snipper giving me a fairly sizeable bruise on my leg… what could go wrong??


    This. This as your team could go wrong.

    Enter game 1 V The Dan.  I have never seen a team that at 8.30 in the morning look so fresh and work with such efficiency to set up their fence, carpet and umbrellas… It took us 3 blokes to put together 1 VB umbrella.  Revs words came flooding back even louder now and by the time the coin was tossed in the air it was all I could hear.

    Heads was the call and batting seemed like the logical choice. Chasing anything with 10 overs is never fun. The big guns were assembled at the top of the order. Emu abused the new orange ball while Dutchy abused me on his way out after facing 1 ball. Emu retired quickly followed by Robbo who never seems to disappoint. I could hardly find the middle of the bat but somehow clawed my way to 23 and Snipper chopped on to see us 3 retired and 2 out for not many. Chef served up some brutal shots which helped us limp to 84. Not a bad score I thought walking off, going to take some getting.


    The men in mustard and black bow ties decided that morning tea was coming early on Sunday. The first 4 overs cost us the best part of 52 runs for only 2 wickets. A great catch by Radar behind the stumps got us all up and about and Dutchy took a ripper on the boundary but only 9 of his team mates ran to celebrate. Robbo was making sure his BMW was ok after being hit a few balls before!

    The Dan reached the target a few balls before the 7th over. I heard someone say it was the shortest stint as a Quokka captain. Not sure if it’s a positive or a negative. The Dan looked damaging all day as we watched on and were well deserved winners.


    The Captain leading from the front

  • promo POSTER

    Match Facts:

    Sunday, January 15 – Kevin Bartlett Recreation Complex, Burnley

    Start Time: 1pm

    The Big Picture

    While a Cricket Tournament of some pedigree begins this Saturday, all eyes will be tuned onto the lush tiny outfield of KB Recreational Complex in Burnley for the real event; The Quokkas taking on the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (ASRC).

    Along with the match against the Victorian Blind Cricketers Association, this match highlights what The Quokkas are all about; inclusiveness, fun and having a go.

    Also, Elisa's baking

    Also, Elisa’s baking

    The Asylum Seekers are coming off a friendly match of reportedly varying quality, which sounded delicious to Quokka ears, though the exact composition and size of their squad is still very unknown. It is hoped that this game will be played using Pub Rules (no LBW, wides are just a re-bowl, can’t go out first ball, everyone has to bowl, batsmen retire in the over they get to 30 etc), but this will very much be decided by the numbers on the day. The Quokkas themselves are also in something of a state of flux.  After ending 2014 in spectacular fashion, the men in maroon have only 1 win for 2015 and that was against the VBCA. This game could be a real guide as to how the 2014/15 is set to end for The Quokkas.

    Form Guide:

    Quokkas: LLLWLWWW

    ASRC: n/a

    In the spotlight:

    With 3 kids at home he doesn’t turn up very often anymore, but when he does he gets results (much to his brothers disgust).  Paz is back on the park this week, boasting the second-best Overs-Per-Wicket ratio in the team: 1.75 (just behind the Chef who is on 1.67).

    The sandpit run-up for bowling over the wicket will suit Paz’s around-the-wicket style & the short boundaries will encourage the batsmen to hit in the air, allowing Paz to add to his 8 wickets from 7 games.


    Artists impression of the run up

    Team News:

    Due to the hype and excitement around this game, The Quokkas currently have 14 available, being:

    1. Big Dog
    2. Cath
    3. Snipper
    4. Ball’en
    5. Ed
    6. Dutchy
    7. Radar (w/k)
    8. Local
    9. Emu
    10. Paz
    11. J Rod
    12. Tuesday
    13. Chef
    14. Rev (c)

    This is surely going to reduce by Friday though.

    Pitch and Conditions:

    For the unknowing, the KB Recreation Complex is where the Quokkas played a famous game against the Royal Derby in 2012/13 in which 6 of the 8 Quokka batsmen scored a 30 and another was not out on 29. This included Gladys’ effort of hitting 31 off 9 balls, including three 6s and two 4s.

    Not taking anything away from Gladys, but the ground is a postage stamp.  As Ed once said; “you could confuse the ground at the Kevin Bartlett Oval for the great mans bald spot”.

    That's not a big ground

    That’s not a big ground

    Expect a lot of boundaries.

    The weather forecast is for 35 degrees after a week of 30 degree days.  Its going to be an oven.

    Stats and Trivia

    • If this game is played with Pub rules, it will be the Big Dogs 40th for the Quokkas, the most by any Quokka in Australia and the 10th for Local. Despite having had 57 players play for us, only 17 (30%) have made it to double digits;
    • The inclusion of Paz may hamper Chefs plans for 10 wickets this season (he is currently on 9) as there may not be many left;
    • This is going to be Radars last game before his wedding, which may make it his last chance for a while to add to his 199 career runs (at 16.58) and 9 career wickets (at 25.67)
  • I awoke to rain and thought surely Rev is going to call a match off? No way. ‘Be there at 12 ‘ was the curt, daunting text.We arrived to a BBQ already on the go and news that Andy, captain of the VBCA team had sent us into bat.
    With experience and experience needed, Big Dog and Rev strolled out. After a solid partnership of 7 a few other batsmen went in and did okay, but it was Snipper and Local who poured on the runs.
    Radar and Chef also got some away but the lower order run making machine called Eliza showed us all what T20 death batting is about.
    Humble as ever, Snipper retired but returned to the crease to make more, to take us to a formidable 113 saying “I have to admit, I could see through the (vision impairment) glasses”.
    In the bowling stakes, once we bowled out the two members of the Australian team, Hawkeye and Peter, the scoring slowed considerably. It also slowed after I mankadded a batsmen.
    That would be correct. Emu put a mankad on a blind cricketer for backing up too much. Of course it was only a warning, and not serious, but I later found out it the humour was drained as it was done for real in the All Abilities World Cup one year by an Indian bowler. Rough!
    Rev was brought on with atypical success, including getting two wickets in a row! The third ball? Missed the pegs by a coat of varnish.
    As the game got close, the VBCA team began to score heavily, mainly because we only had 5 fielders.
    It appears some Quokkas realised that the blind crickets could not see the gaps to capitalise and began stints on the radio and bar, mostly paying out on Emu for making 1 run and trying a quick single off the only player who was level 3 impaired (tunnel vision).
    In the end, the Quokkas held on by 12 runs.
    A great day was had by all except, Rev, who is still chasing a hat trick.
    Thanks to all that attended and had a stint on the radio. The boys were very happy and look forward to Game III next year.
    The All-Abilities World Cup will be held on March 17 at Prahran District Cricket Oval. Some boys from VBCA will be involved. Get down if you have time!
    IMG_0453 IMG_0455IMG_0454
  • For those of you wanting to listen to the commentary of the VBCA v Quokkas game from Sunday, February 1, here is the link:




Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.