• LiV Quokkas v Standard Hotel

    LiV Quokkas v Standard Hotel

    From the mind of Emu…

    Much like Edward Smith (don’t google it, he drove the titanic) I like to
    think my Captaincy be judged by the highlights rather than the end result.

    Put into the field by Needling Nick, the captain of the Sub-Standard
    (because at 1:00 they had 9 blokes) it became clear that he was a little
    bit precious in slagging off Luke Curtain for bringing an esky that

    I could say that he was an anal retentive, medial job working control freak
    with poor social skills whence combined with low sporting aptitude means he
    treats Sunday cricket with a degree of pettiness usually reserved for
    sociopaths who commit postal murders, but that would not be nice.

    So, off to field in 36 degree odd heat we did start a little shaky. Their
    top order was strong; which had Captain Emu scratching his head.
    Fortunately, much like Celine Dion, you know they have to retire
    eventually, but it doesn’t help you in the meantime. Most bowlers got some
    treatment. Much like Robbo who went for 22 off one over. His revenge would

    Daniel “Ming” Grigg created some great tension, the boy from Torquay a
    frugal threat (1 for 10 from 3 overs) Luke Curtain passing the gloves to
    his brother and bowling two overs (1 for 9) was handy before drinks. Rowdy
    also showed his volleyball skills; a perfect set saw him push a catch
    neatly over the boundary. Classic.

    Three gents contributed 113 so once they were not in operation, wickets
    would fall. This was a chance for the swing of new guy JJ to come into
    play. Pleased himself bowled well, upset he missed a diving effort. A few
    then wickets tumbled as Emu finally found the line that saw Curto snaffle a
    caught behind. Emu snagged a few more catches before new recruit Jarrod
    seized on a ball and lobbed it in to the stumps to effect a timely run out.
    His fielding, combined with Dutchy and JJ who were tireless on a hot day.
    Gladys also bowled some peaches, showing his tricks to suppress the score
    and take a wicket or two.

    Chasing 200, the opening pair fared a little Indian, but when Matt “Gladys”
    Curtain strolled it, it changed. He ended on 53, a great effort from Mister
    Cricket, freed from pressure of work and kids. He watched Mo denied a
    certain four via an outstretched boot then dismissed for 11, Emu depart
    cheaply (still scored a six), but support arrived in Robbo (29 off 25)
    including 3 consecutive 4s. Dutchy who rode some short pitched balls to
    secure 22 and a very sullen Dan ‘I don’t run singles’ Grigg (24 runs)

    By the time Luke Curtain arrived, new guy Jarrod ran himself out and new
    guy JJ had taken a ball on the wrist, breaking his ulnar bone in his
    forearm. How he batted on to hit two fours is another story. As was Big
    Dog, who was unable to replicate his huge score of last bat and somehow
    Dutchy forgot to pass him on the ceremonial Duck.  With some 35 runs
    required in two and a half overs Gladys returned to smash the Labour in
    Vain close, not before an incident between the before mentioned Sub
    Standard captain. A dangerous ball bowled by Needling Nick and an angry
    Curto saw umpire Emu mediate the situation like a Year 9 Girls Health and
    Human development class.

    Matt Curtain could do no more, holing out to Long On leaving Curto alone in
    his teens (again) the team some 13 runs shy of the desired 200.

    *Dutchy  may have hurt his knee. Doubtful.
    *JJ has had a plate inserted. His 8-month pregnant wife blames Luke.
    *Robbo is captain next week. Nice guy!
    *Matt Curtain is class.
    *Even with salad you can lose friends, as Needling Nick found

  • All round a great effort, and as Ed pointed out, we were robbed of victory by the rain.
    We arrived to find gale force winds and a very patchy playing surface at Fairfield, and as is our happy knack recently, had to field in the worst of the conditions.
    Good bowling effort from everyone, with special mention to the spin twins Ed (1 for 9 off 3 overs) and Jarrod whose mid innings spells dried up the runs and led to wickets. The Rev made a cameo appearance off the bench and managed to clean bowl a hapless batsman with his never before seen offspinner.
    Morty’s tight second over led to the dismissal of the innings. The batsman, faced with the prospect of a maiden over, took off for a cheeky single to Big Dog at short mid on. Big Dog whipped the relay throw all of 3 meters to Morty, who knocked the stumps down like he was Simon “The Wizard” Whitlock (the Aussie darts bloke). Radar cleaned up on of the openers in a fiery spell and Emu benefited from a sharp catch at mid off to round out the wickets.
    After dislocating his finger whilst fielding on the boundary and then popping it back in himself Bear Grylls style, J-bomb was immediately called on to bowl (nice one captain) and struggled for control, going for an impressive 23 runs off a 12 ball over.
    Curto had an outstanding day behind the stumps, not letting a single ball past him in very trying conditions.
    A few catches went down late in the innings, but ended up not being too costly, so 162 was the score to chase.
    Out strode Emu The Mentalist, our own answer to Davey Warner. The wonder bat became a distant memory as he cracked a chanceless 33 off 21, including 5 boundaries, one of which was the only straight 4 of the match. Curto provided the perfect foil at the other end, rotating the strike relentlessly on his way to 12 (all singles). Upon Emu’s retirement, he was joined by Radar, who kept the fancy scoreboard ticking along nicely, reaching 17 by the time the heavens opened.
    So we were going scoring at well over the required run rate with plenty of batting to come, certain victory denied!
    Last weeks high attrition rate continued with Morty pulling a back string and J-bomb’s aformentioned finger. Hope your are both healing up well boys.
    The only area where we were bested by the Curtin was back at the pub. Those lads showed up in force and looked like they weren’t leaving in a hurry. That should make our sponsors at The Labour in Vain happy anyway.
    It was a privilege to captain such a fine group of marsupials.
    Thanks to Sarina as always.


Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.