And so to that most titanic of battles, the 2011 Quokka Ashes. 16 brave and hardy souls ventured down to Old Deer Park in Richmond for the annual club day/sledging fest, and with the weather turning what can only be described as a bit parky, hardiness was a attribute not to be under-rated.
Filled with stirring words of encouragement from their spiritual leader, The Rev, the Aussies won the toss and put the English into bat. Specialist batsmen Binman and Snoop opened up for England and put a cracking 50 against the bowling of Faggy, Shannon and Slick for only a couple of negative wickets under the indoor rules.
Evil Dave and Tom the Yak (english by marriage) continued the strong positive scoring, with even the umpires now taking a furious barraking from the chirping boys from downunder. Rage and the Egg just about made it in to positive figures territory added to some assistance from return of the crazy ivan bowling phenomenon.
Skip and anti-aussie Gymnast brought up the rear with some more trademark lusty hitting and a net total of 132 was recorded for the holders, would this be enough?
Proving how manly they truely are, the Quokkas pushed on to the second innings foregoing tea until later in the day. Blasting off like the last space shuttle, Mantis and Shannon started an onslaught against the bowlers, bringing their T20 form to the crease. A desperate Skip turned to the spin triplets of Snoop, Gymnast and Egg which bamboozled the pace hungry pair and brought some much needed wickets to slow down the run rate.
A bet with Ches at the annual dinner over the outcome of some other sporting contest, saw Faggy adopting the regional dress of western australian for his stint with Slick. Some tight bowling from Rage, Binman and Gymnast kept the pair honest though, limiting their run scoring.
Cycling buddies, The Attack and Sammy D were in next, a dangerous pairing in previous ashes tournaments. Skip brought himself on, bowling with conviction to try and secure the win, but the batsmen continued ticking the scorebaord along.
The last Aussie pairing of Terrible and Shandy needed 30 off 6 overs. All was going well set with 2 needed off Snoop’s last over, but the pressure told as Shandy sucumbed, not once, but twice, to stumpings by the Binman behind the wicket. Some decidedly dodgy scorebook updates and an increase in the number of (australian) umpires on field later, and 2 were needed off the last two balls. Showing his more accomplished batting colleague how to do it, the Terrible smacked 4 off the last ball to seal the victory for the batting side.
The cold was really biting now so it was back to Binman’s for the sausagefest and presentation of the Quokka trophy to the Australians. Man of the Match was Slick for his skill with the scorebook.