• Quokkas CC 60 (Skip 24) lost to Tusmore CC by 9 wickets

    The Tacoma Narrows bridge 1940, Greg Norman at the ’96 Masters, Barings Bank 1995. Some great collapses in history that pale into insignificance to the woeful Quokkas at Tusmore 2010. A fine and sunny late July afternoon gave forth to carnage as the Tusmore bowlers rapidly scythed through the Quokka batsmen. It even made the Aussie test side look high-scoring. 

    It had all started so well. Skip and Faggy, looking to impress his watching missus, opened and looked in control, speeding to 37 off 6 overs and never looking like getting out. In hindsight we blame Evil Dave as he uttered a fateful “We’re looking solid” cursing us with his satanic litany. It seemed only seconds later Faggy was given LBW by the president of the bowler’s union, Binman. Frumkin went in to see off the rest of the opening bowlers, which was a good plan only let down in the execution, falling 3 balls short of his goal. Still 50 for 2 wasn’t disastrous, was it?

    Then the sky fell in.

    Skip was bowled. Hairdresser ran Shandy out without him facing a ball, and then was bowled himself without troubing the scorer. The gymnast hit 2 and was bowled. The accursed Evil Dave was bowled for zero. Terrible likewise. Karma was a bitch for Smithers as he smashed 4 and then was given LBW. Last but not least, The Prof got one that rolled under his bat and hit the stumps. Out for, you guessed it, nothing. The last 9 wickets had fallen for 10 runs in 5 overs. Embarassing.

    Chasing only 60, Tusmore were always in control. Looking to make amends, Satan cast an evil spell of 5-1-8-1 and might have had more had the Egg not practised his juggling to a sharp one at point. Winton was on form for Tusmore, giving the Professor an education in power hitting and finishing it off by smashed a big six off the Binman to bring up the winning runs. 

    Quokkas unleash sceret weapon in the second game

    Done and dusted before tea meant the unexpected pleasure of allowing copious feasting on the lovely cakes and a quick 12 over beer match after. The Quokkas saved a little face with a victory in this quick slogfest. Making amends was the batting of Egg and Smithers early doors – both retiring not out on the requisite 20 – and the fielding/daisy dukes of Eleanor.  It shouldn’t be un-noted that Hairdresser and Shandy both didn’t score, making it a pair for both of our regular star batsmen for the day.

    A great, if not entirely successful, day was rounded off with Faggy showing his log throwing prowess, real ale, BBQ burgers and the Terrible winning a bottle of Cognac in the raffle at the local country pub. Once again, Tusmore didn’t fail to be one of our more memorable fixtures of the year.

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  • Egg Bravery Award winner 2008, The Terrible, once again shows commitment to the Quokka cause by wearing one on the schnozzle

    Looks a bit soreTen rounds with Fred Trueman

    Good job it was the last T20 of the season for our courageous mid-week Captain

  • Trailfinders CC 137-9 (Euan 2/14) lost to Quokkas CC (Hairdresser 51no, Skip 35no) by 6 wickets

    Imitating a Vegas gambler with a key-chained rabbit’s foot, lucky lady on our arm, four-leaved clover in our lapel and a suspicious pitboss on the prowl, the Quokka’s winning streak continues*

    Trailfinders. Silent Cricket. Prodigous leggie. Picnicing Smithers. Done.

    Plucked from the nets at ISIS, newbie Chris rustily opened down the hill, but got his radar and speedgun working with some pacy stuff from a good height that eventually was rewarded. Joining him in claiming a wicket was Satan, continuing a devilish vein of form this year. Coming on for Beelzeebub, Euan continued the evil theme by applying the thumbscrews and tieing down the batsmen finishing with 7-2-14-2.

    Mirroring Long John silver with woodworm, the wickets were regularly falling with Skip and Hairdresser bowling well for no reward, but good fielding, if not catching, getting a couple of runouts. When the Trailfinder’s Colts came to the crease, the Skip showed no mercy and put Slick and the Egg on to claim more wickets, including a rare stumping from ‘keeper Shandy. An even rarer sight than the stumping was Frumkin diving in the outfield – perhaps he was just tired and needed a lie down. A total of 137 from 35 on a good batting track didn’t look enough.

    Walking out to the noiseless pitch Shandy and Frumkin both got a start. Some might say that the silence mirrored their run calling, but your author wouldn’t possibly comment. A start was all they got though and they were back for 15 and 11 respectively.  Meanwhile the Yank was in a post celebration funk from last week, departing for only four. Ivan the Terrible had obviously been practicing his impaling skills, as he stuck one right down the throat of point after making five.

    55-4 could have been seen as a wobble, but the Quokkas, like Bruce Wayne in a diving bell, were batting deep and an 82 run stand from Hairdresser and Skip saw us comfortably home with 6 overs to spare. Not even the most Mandelsonian of spinners, PD, causing them any woe. Enough time to comfortably get to the pub to watch the clogging fiesta that was the world cup final.

    I’m looking forward to the teas at Tusmore already

    *we don’t mention the Twenty20

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  • Quokkas CC 222 (Tom the Yank 62, Skip 51, Frumkin 25) bt St Anne’s Allstars 183-9 (Smithers 3/23, Egg 2/11, Evil Dave 2/15) by 39 runs

    “And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the Quokkas declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”


    The fireworks in regent’s park this 4th July were not from the US ambassadors residence, but from the blazing bat of our resident septic, Tom, as he blazed his way to a maiden fifty and pushed the Quokkas on to a record score.

    Losing the toss, the Quokkas were sent into bat first (finally!) and didn’t start well, Shandy bewildered by being asked to pad up before he had scoffed some tea and skying the first legitimate ball of the day. Not to worry, as the Skip and an uncharacteristically swashbuckling Frumkin both settled down for a good knock, keeping the run rate above 7 an over. Frumkin eventually fell missing an attempted swipe.

    Wishing he was in the men’s singles final down in Wimbledon, the Terrible’s contribution was an overhead smashed no-ball for 5, bringing back (fond?) memories of the Caveman and his unique bat waggling style, the Gymnast couldn’t replicate his four and out form as he was just out. 

    By now the Skip had reached his fifty and, after being dropped next ball, decided to retire. He was quick to claim this was to give others a go and denied all accusations of protecting his average.

    A treat for the sunbathing ladies of Regent's Park

    St Anne’s must have been hoping this was the turning point, but they reckoned without the searing national pride burning through Tom the Yank on this patriotic day. With the star spangled banner ringing in his ears he straight drove ball after ball majestically presidentially to the boundary, making a mockery of his previous Quokka best of 8. And as he passed 50, came a momentous event 5 years in the making – the Quokkas passed the double-ton for the first time ever. At the other end Vikas (2) went for the big swipe too early, Evil Dave (9) hit a big six, Egg(0) played the shot he always gets out too and got out, so it was Smithers whom pulled a hitherto unseen forward defensive out of the locker to support the ‘merkin and make a fine 18. Suggestions that the Binman and Frumkin had undergone some frankly rather worrying Jamie-Lee-Curtis-film-esque personality swap were as yet unconfirmed on this freakiest of Sundays.   

    The Yank had finally departed on 62. And after the Skip came back in to get out, Mike Dan was left unbeaten and the Quokkas had posted a pleasingly large 222.

    Following tea and an unusual session of ball skills practice involving the Quokkas all bending over and “soft hands”, we took to the field. For once, there was no shortage of volunteers for the lonely, isolated boundary positions for reasons that can’t have anything to do with the bikini’d scenery

    Vikas bowled well with no return for a tight seven overs for twenty six. The dark rituals, black magic and voodoo sacrifices have been paying of for Evil Dave recently as he took another brace of wickets including the prized scalp of Maxie’s brother. That was also the first of three catches from, you guessed it, Tom the Yank as he looked to dominate in the field as he had done the bowling.

    The terrible is so fast behind the stumps he can only be photographed as a blur

    The Yank gets on the board of Honour

    Binman Smithers capped his batting performance by claiming three wickets in a fine first spell that ripped through the Allstars middle order, Gymnast and Shandy also picking up a wicket each in support. The caps were working their catching magic for Skip and Shandy, despite a couple of drops by Quokkas who shall not be shamed here in this day of victory. When the Egg was brought on to clear up the tail with another twofer it left the batting side nine down and Capt. Maxie coming into bat with the game all but beyond the St Anne’s. 

    The Skip rotated the bowling like a hog on a spit with Miki Dan and Frumkin both chancing their arm and keeping the Terrible busy behind the stumps, but some limpet like resistance from Maxie and big hitting from Halladay kept the Quokkas from finishing the game off. Even the return of Smithers and the Egg couldn’t bag the elusive final wicket with Halladay finishing on a fine 74no and Capt. Maxie on 16no in a valiant, if ultimately unsuccessful last stand.

    All that remained was for the Skip to lead us via the long way, and a detour, to the pub and for the St Anne’s and the Quokkas to toast a fine, and for once high-scoring, match.


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Recent Comments

  • Strong.
  • Proper swing bowling that was. Pitch it up.
  • Fabulous article which made us smile in the Spanish sunshine...
  • You forgot to mention Harry getting to bowl an over aswell. ...
  • Please see point 5.