An open letter to the citizens of Great Britain and it’s forgotten colonies
Gentlemen and Quokkettes,
Let me lend you my ear. That way, what ever I say will be heard correctly*.
Your Reverend, DA Nichols, author and auteur, has nobly taken it upon himself to initiate some municipal embellishmentism. He wants a salt beef bagel shop on every corner, all Spar convenience stores to be renamed Club-X and an improvement of cricket facilities in the East End of London. Regrettably it is only the last option that has recieved funding from Waygood Manor. Hitherfurther, The Reverend’s exemplary skills as blacksmith and landscape gardener, have recently been misplaced (lost in a card game no doubt). What this means, you fools, is that the pitches and nets are not going to build themselves.
And so, and thus, I am calling upon you, citizens of the InTerNet, to ratify a petition that has been put to the British Parliament, and specifically, Number Ten Downing street. It can be located and signed in the foyer at Number Ten, and also webularly at:
I encourage you to enthuse others to participate in this important motion. If effective, this will mean better facilities for the Quokkas and hopefully provide a some grass roots talent for England’s next Ashes campaign.
I thank you for your time, as I understand it is important to you, whatever pathetic life you may lead.
Yours in HUZZAH!
Lord Waygood, PhD, RaCV, HtML.
*please ensure all R’s are rolled for dramatic effect.